to think that actually, I may die of sleep deprivation

(77 Posts)
Fancydrawers Tue 21-Jan-14 18:11:27

It feels like it. Particularly as she wakes every 1-2 hours with no let up, and has since birth. She is 6 months. This is how I will meet my end, I fear.

Kittymalinky Tue 21-Jan-14 18:58:05

My DD was like this. We cosleep and she started sleeping through or waking once or twice and settling with a pat and shush at about a year old.

I do feel your pain, I too thought I'd die of sleep deprivation.

I started handing her over to my DM at about 8 mo with expressed milk and food and go back to bed

SS3J Tue 21-Jan-14 18:58:26

Poor you. I was the same with my DD and thought I would die. Did not help that hv etc would just go.on about how it's normal. It is NOT normal to get no more than an hours sleep at a time for that long! My DD's problem was that she was sleeping all day and feeding all night. Once I had figured that out I stopped demand feeding, fed her regularly during the day and used other ways of comforting her at night. it also helped that I had a very supportive mum who took her for a few nights to wean her off me (i was in the house so could feed her once or twice in the night but she slept next to.my mum so couldn't smell the milk). It worked! From then on she has been an ace sleeper. Hope things improve for you soon.

maddening Tue 21-Jan-14 19:02:45

can you get her on a dummy? I tried my ds (find'th with still after 2yo :-( ) he wouldn't take it unfortunately but my friend managed to slip her nipple out and the dummy in when her ds and it ended the comfort sucking.

BagOfBats Tue 21-Jan-14 19:06:07

Hmmm I am no help whatsoever but I am you, except 8 months further on. My 14mo DS2 doesn't sleep. Ever. Up hourly lastnight. And do you know what? I'm so used to it that I'm not even tired <scary>
His lack of sleep has literally taken years off my life, I am sure.
I think when they want to and are ready to sleep through, they will sleep. Ironically DS1 slept through from 3 months old. There is literally no rationale and it helps me to remind myself of this sometimes!! I used to kill myself trying to work out why and there is no one reason for it. He's just not a sleeper!! Ha ha this hasn't been helpful, had it?!

I feel your pain. DS is only 6 weeks but my DD is 3 and has never really seen the point of sleep.I like the sound of the place with lots of alcohol.

Fancydrawers Tue 21-Jan-14 19:09:58

She had the dummy but refuses it as of about a month ago. Bats, my son was similar! I genuinely do not mind being up a few times, but I have no evenings because I am just spent by 7.30 when she goes to bed and I can't even look forward to bedtime myself, sob! It is relentless and bloody hard but my God I love her the sleep stealing shitbag

MsAspreyDiamonds Tue 21-Jan-14 19:10:06

My 3 year old has slept in cycles of 2/3 hours since birth and it is killing me. I am suffering really badly now to the extent of getting palpitations & general slowness.

Fancydrawers Tue 21-Jan-14 19:18:07

Christ, I bet you are, poor you. Why do they do this? Sleep is so wonderful!

Shockingundercrackers Tue 21-Jan-14 19:18:20

Good plan. I would drink and sleep and drink and sleep and sleep and sleep ahhhhhhh....

In all seriousness, have you tried earplugs? I can't sleep at all without them. They do help filter out some of the baby chatting / grunting / snoring / pinging of the bars in the cot. Unfortunately I can still hear the actual crying though, so when he needs a feed or a cuddle there's no place to hide... but it's a start.

Could you mix half and half formula and breastmilk, so you wouldn't have to express so much and she might take it? I had to do this with DS who wasn't having any of formula. Oh, and even when he would have it he would only ever have it cold...! Just so you could retreat to a spare room / sofa / travelodge for one night?

CrohnicallyFarting Tue 21-Jan-14 19:30:34

Oh yes SS3J you just reminded me, I made sure I offered DD boob at least every 3 hours during the day to make sure she fed well. She was so nosy she forgot to feed in the day and would make up for it at night.

And giving baby to your mum (or whoever else you are comfortable with) for the night might help. That's what gave us the push to move Dd to her own room. My mum had her for the night, complete with expressed milk which she'd always taken before, but this time she refused all bottles and had nothing except a sip or two of water between tea time and breakfast. She was up a couple of times in the night, but not overly distressed and went back to sleep each time after half an hour or so of rocking. Obviously she knew I wasn't there, and that made a difference (if DH had tried rocking, she'd have screamed).

Of course, the next day she was extra hungry so made up for the night feeds in the day, so she wasn't as hungry the next night and even though I was there again, she didn't wake as much.

If nothing else, letting someone else look after her for the night will give you one, blissful, undisturbed night of sleep! (Make sure the 3 year old and preferably DH are shipped out somewhere too).

Bumpandkind Tue 21-Jan-14 19:32:28

Aren't these threads great for reminding yourself that there are other sleep deprived parents out there.

My 7 month old Ds has never been a great sleeper. We are doing well at the moment (for us) as waking about 3-4 times in the night and starting off in his cot for up to 5 hours. To achieve this I'm afraid I did a little CC at the first wake. I feel bad but it has helped.

Refuses dummies, bottles etc too.

Bumpandkind Tue 21-Jan-14 19:34:59

Can I join the far away land of alcohol? I'll provide some naice snacks.

Fancydrawers Tue 21-Jan-14 19:36:58

She feeds 2-3 hourly in the day so I'm not sure it's her making up for that. I'm going to try her in the cot and only get her when she cries, at the moment the slightest whinge and I'm there. But if I don't respond quickly she works herself into a frenzy. Sigh. Luckily she is an easygoing soul during the day!

Fancydrawers Tue 21-Jan-14 19:37:54

I'm not sure whether I'd want her away from me for a night, even though the thought is blissful. I am awful aren't I.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 21-Jan-14 19:39:57

Ds is nearly 8 years old and only sleeps for 4 hours, I feel your pain.

I don't think there is a brand of energy drink that I have not tried ( all a bit pointless IMO)

IndigoTea Tue 21-Jan-14 19:39:59

I feel your pain, and have been going through the same for the past few months. It is torture. Especially as one is expected to carry on as normal during the day. hmm

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 21-Jan-14 19:41:01

How about sleeping on the sofa and only feeding for food and not comfort

Bumpandkind Tue 21-Jan-14 19:43:19

Why are there loads of us zombie mums on MN but at every bloody baby group I attend, 'Little Lord loves his sleep' has been doing 12 hour stretches since birth?

bump maybe we're too knackered to make it to the groups grin

SharonCurley Tue 21-Jan-14 19:49:49

FancyDrawers-in exact same position.Reading through all the advice here.Dh works away and have dd4 too.When dh comes home she is hysterical if he tries to settle her at night so it has just been easier for me to do it.Went to bed at 7 last night so that I would get a few blocks of sleep.Felt great today but that can't continue.Feel like I am cracking up some days.She seems to sleep for two hours or three hours and then cries and like you the only thing that sends her off again is being in my bed and a quick feed.She shouldn't be hungry.

CrohnicallyFarting Tue 21-Jan-14 19:53:24

Another thought- do you drink a lot of coffee or other caffeinated drinks to make up for your tiredness? Only coffee gives DD reflux (if I drink it, I mean, obviously I wouldn't feed coffee to a baby!) and she showed an improvement in sleeping once I cut out all caffeine.

And it's not awful at all to want your baby near you. There were two reasons why I let Dd spend the night away from me- one was knowing that my wedding was coming up and that we would want our wedding night alone, and the other was the fact that DH caught me at a vulnerable moment (growth spurt and DD had woken every hour, on the hour, for 3 nights, I was broken and would have done anything to get some sleep!)

MetellaEstMater Tue 21-Jan-14 19:55:35

Bump round here it's because all the blooming groups start10am and at that time I'm mainlining caffeine.

Bubblegoose Tue 21-Jan-14 19:57:18

Nothing to add, just sympathy. I'm on my knees with a newborn while entertaining toddler during the day - cannot imagine keeping this up for six bloody months. You poor bugger. flowers

CrohnicallyFarting Tue 21-Jan-14 19:58:44

bump my favourite group starts at 1:00pm and it's great, none of us get much sleep! You make an announcement like 'Dd only woke 3 times last night!' and they're all jealous!

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