To think my toddler shouldn't be picked on at play group by a group of mums.

(70 Posts)
Charotte31 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:43:18

My 2 1/2 year old was playing in a car driving it around the part of the hall which is meant for this. A baby was crawling around that part of the room when my DD bumped into her. I was watching and she didn't mean to, she wouldn't it's not like her. The baby didn't cry. The mum come over and picked him up, which I would have done. I was coming over to see if he was ok but Then sat back down with 2 other mums and started pointing at my child and giving her evil looks. She's 2 for god sake!! I went over and asked what her problem was? We ended up having a real to do, not like me at these sort of places!
AIBU to want my child to be able to play, have an accident and not get bitched about by grown woman?!

yonisareforever Wed 22-Jan-14 22:20:11

its so painful.

an adult snatched a beaker out of my 14 months hand on Tuesday then two ladies had a conversation over me, they were sat either side of me, it was my first time at a group for ages.

emsyj Wed 22-Jan-14 21:57:27

Did you actually hear what was said? It doesn't seem so. You don't mention anything in your OP to suggest that you heard them talking about your DD. For all you know, the mum might have been saying, "That area is clearly for cozy coupes, maybe we shouldn't let the babies crawl over there any more - see that area there, where that little girl is playing <points> - it's for the cars - do you know is that her mum over there? Do you know her at all? I think I recognise her <looks at you idly to see if she recognises you, with no particular ill intent or deep thought>" Then suddenly BAM, there you are with your confrontational "What's your problem?" YABU I'm afraid. You have no idea what they were saying or thinking.

If you'd heard them say something nasty about your DD, you could go over and say, "I can hear you talking about my daughter, please stop" - but you were aggressive and there was no call for that.

fluterby Wed 22-Jan-14 21:40:47

Hmm no, i think if you have a baby at a toddler group, you need to appreciate there are unguided missiles there (i.e. three year olds) and keep them safe. It's unfortunate you don't really get this until yours is three. Then you understand.

quietlysuggests Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:39

YABU

You are the crazy aggressive woman in this situation.
Did you seriously march over to her and say "What the hell is your problem blah blah blah"?
That's crazy.
Maybe you live in a really tough place and you have to teach your child that only the tough survive?
You should teach her to say "You disrespecktin me YO"
All your problems will be sorted when she can fight her own fights and you can cheer her on from the sidelines!!

rideyourbike Wed 22-Jan-14 21:18:00

That mother should have been watching her baby more carefully. Mother and baby groups aren't always friendly places. Have you tried your local sure start centre. We used to do messy play, it was fab and friendly!

itsnotthateasy Wed 22-Jan-14 19:36:51

Poor Woman .(OP) .. Attacked on here for going up to some gossiping bats who should not have picked on a child . . And the Mother who let her baby crawl to a designated area for ride on toys should just look at herself on where the blame lies.

OldBagWantsNewBag Wed 22-Jan-14 17:52:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onesiegoddess Wed 22-Jan-14 17:34:51

I think it's fine for a mum to have a bit if a whinge about a child that has driven into her baby. Shouldn't you have just gone over and said ' I'm very sorry my child bumped yours' and then asked you child to be careful round little ones.

FeegleFion Wed 22-Jan-14 17:26:23

Are you going back next week OP? Why not take a posse and have a great big brawl outside, at the end of the session? I'll hold the coats grin

What a bloody palava. This is why I'd rather spend my days with 13month old DS alone & away from ludicrous situations like yours!

Lemonfairydust Wed 22-Jan-14 16:52:20

Are you being unreasonable to expect grown women to not 'pick on' your child?

No, of course not.

Are you being unreasonable by going over and shouting the odds?

Probably.

bodygoingsouth Wed 22-Jan-14 16:43:46

ooooo sorry bad typo, obviously toddlers not the other word.

bodygoingsouth Wed 22-Jan-14 16:42:52

oh dear op do you really want to be that mom

why didn't you just go over to say hope your ds is ok and then speak to the person in charge about separate areas for crawling babies and tossers in bykes.

obviously a disaster waiting to happen.

if someone sat my me and said 'what's your problem' I would assume you were well a bit rough to be honest.

NewtRipley Wed 22-Jan-14 16:35:24

I think baby and toddler groups are stressful when populated by overly-defensive and judgmental parents of toddlers or babies.

HaroldLloyd Wed 22-Jan-14 16:28:48

I don't go over and apologise to gangs of mums giving shitty looks any more, since last time I did they were bloody scary and I was in fear of getting a punch.

LeafyGreen13 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:02:11

I would have apologized and asked if the baby was ok.

HaroldLloyd Wed 22-Jan-14 15:55:43

I would have been irritated but said nothing.

These type of people do exist at soft play I have seen them, sometimes I think it's as they only have a baby and no real experience of toddlers.

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:45:57

Oh except I wouldn't have had a "to do" I would of kept it civil but I would have said something.

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:44:47

For what it's worth OP I probably would have done the same. But then I am not very good at keeping my mouth shut when it comes to DD. I'm not saying it's one of my good traits but it's one I have and one I can't seem to change.

LittleBearPad Wed 22-Jan-14 15:00:45

Your dd wasn't picked on. You completely over reacted and you sound very aggressive.

BeCool Wed 22-Jan-14 14:54:15

OP has legged it.

LongRoadToRuin Wed 22-Jan-14 14:38:06

I was with you until you and totally on your side until you went over and asked the other mum what her problem was. This is not isolated, these sort of mums are everywhere. I hate that accusatory, over-protective sort of mum but they are in every play centre, play group and moms n toddlers I ever went to. If you were annoyed enough to say something then you could have made your point in a friendly way.

spritesoright Wed 22-Jan-14 14:26:39

need a holiday my 2 year old is perfectly capable of saying sorry or giving a hug. She may not fully understand the implications but it's never too early to practice good manners.

kali110 Tue 21-Jan-14 18:52:41

Plus you didnt say sorry did you?you got up to go over and then sat back down. Maybe she was pointing at you and commenting that it would have been nice if you had asked if her child was alright.

coco44 Tue 21-Jan-14 17:37:24

perhps they were discussing how the hallo could be better laid out to avoid future bumps.
Honestly you sound like a psycho! and I am not sure how your DC was 'picked on'?

TheWitTank Tue 21-Jan-14 17:27:34

What was her reaction when you spoke with her? I think you totally over reacted. So what if they were giving your DD "evils"? She is 2, she won't have a clue. If they want to be that ridiculous, let them get on with it. They could have been pointing out how unsuitable the ride on area was, or discussing something completely different. To have a "to do" in front of your children will have been far more emotionally destructive than a few supposed evil eyes that I doubt your DD even noticed or understood. I bloody detest soft play/toddler groups and this is why! Far too many over emotional/aggressive/mummy lion parents ready to kick off at nothing's.

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