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To think my toddler shouldn't be picked on at play group by a group of mums.

(70 Posts)
Charotte31 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:43:18

My 2 1/2 year old was playing in a car driving it around the part of the hall which is meant for this. A baby was crawling around that part of the room when my DD bumped into her. I was watching and she didn't mean to, she wouldn't it's not like her. The baby didn't cry. The mum come over and picked him up, which I would have done. I was coming over to see if he was ok but Then sat back down with 2 other mums and started pointing at my child and giving her evil looks. She's 2 for god sake!! I went over and asked what her problem was? We ended up having a real to do, not like me at these sort of places!
AIBU to want my child to be able to play, have an accident and not get bitched about by grown woman?!

BeCool Wed 22-Jan-14 14:54:15

OP has legged it.

LittleBearPad Wed 22-Jan-14 15:00:45

Your dd wasn't picked on. You completely over reacted and you sound very aggressive.

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:44:47

For what it's worth OP I probably would have done the same. But then I am not very good at keeping my mouth shut when it comes to DD. I'm not saying it's one of my good traits but it's one I have and one I can't seem to change.

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:45:57

Oh except I wouldn't have had a "to do" I would of kept it civil but I would have said something.

HaroldLloyd Wed 22-Jan-14 15:55:43

I would have been irritated but said nothing.

These type of people do exist at soft play I have seen them, sometimes I think it's as they only have a baby and no real experience of toddlers.

LeafyGreen13 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:02:11

I would have apologized and asked if the baby was ok.

HaroldLloyd Wed 22-Jan-14 16:28:48

I don't go over and apologise to gangs of mums giving shitty looks any more, since last time I did they were bloody scary and I was in fear of getting a punch.

NewtRipley Wed 22-Jan-14 16:35:24

I think baby and toddler groups are stressful when populated by overly-defensive and judgmental parents of toddlers or babies.

bodygoingsouth Wed 22-Jan-14 16:42:52

oh dear op do you really want to be that mom

why didn't you just go over to say hope your ds is ok and then speak to the person in charge about separate areas for crawling babies and tossers in bykes.

obviously a disaster waiting to happen.

if someone sat my me and said 'what's your problem' I would assume you were well a bit rough to be honest.

bodygoingsouth Wed 22-Jan-14 16:43:46

ooooo sorry bad typo, obviously toddlers not the other word.

Lemonfairydust Wed 22-Jan-14 16:52:20

Are you being unreasonable to expect grown women to not 'pick on' your child?

No, of course not.

Are you being unreasonable by going over and shouting the odds?

Probably.

FeegleFion Wed 22-Jan-14 17:26:23

Are you going back next week OP? Why not take a posse and have a great big brawl outside, at the end of the session? I'll hold the coats grin

What a bloody palava. This is why I'd rather spend my days with 13month old DS alone & away from ludicrous situations like yours!

Onesiegoddess Wed 22-Jan-14 17:34:51

I think it's fine for a mum to have a bit if a whinge about a child that has driven into her baby. Shouldn't you have just gone over and said ' I'm very sorry my child bumped yours' and then asked you child to be careful round little ones.

The OP said that her child was in the car in the area meant for riding in cars yet very few of you seem to think the mother of the baby is the one at fault here.

The baby really shouldn't have been crawling in the ride on toy area. The baby was fortunate that he only took a knock. Imagine how painful it would have been if the car had gone over his fingers.

I know we all take our eyes off of our children and that they do sometimes venture off into the path of danger as you can't watch them like a hawk every second of the waking day but when they get hurt because you took your eyes off the ball it isn't very fair to start blaming a two year old.

I think giving a child dirty looks is revolting! Maybe the OPs opening line of "What's your problem?" wasn't her finest moment but I can't honestly say that, in the heat of the moment, I'd be terribly polite if my intention was to apologise only to find the mum pointing at my child and giving them nasty looks.

itsnotthateasy Wed 22-Jan-14 19:36:51

Poor Woman .(OP) .. Attacked on here for going up to some gossiping bats who should not have picked on a child . . And the Mother who let her baby crawl to a designated area for ride on toys should just look at herself on where the blame lies.

rideyourbike Wed 22-Jan-14 21:18:00

That mother should have been watching her baby more carefully. Mother and baby groups aren't always friendly places. Have you tried your local sure start centre. We used to do messy play, it was fab and friendly!

quietlysuggests Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:39

YABU

You are the crazy aggressive woman in this situation.
Did you seriously march over to her and say "What the hell is your problem blah blah blah"?
That's crazy.
Maybe you live in a really tough place and you have to teach your child that only the tough survive?
You should teach her to say "You disrespecktin me YO"
All your problems will be sorted when she can fight her own fights and you can cheer her on from the sidelines!!

fluterby Wed 22-Jan-14 21:40:47

Hmm no, i think if you have a baby at a toddler group, you need to appreciate there are unguided missiles there (i.e. three year olds) and keep them safe. It's unfortunate you don't really get this until yours is three. Then you understand.

emsyj Wed 22-Jan-14 21:57:27

Did you actually hear what was said? It doesn't seem so. You don't mention anything in your OP to suggest that you heard them talking about your DD. For all you know, the mum might have been saying, "That area is clearly for cozy coupes, maybe we shouldn't let the babies crawl over there any more - see that area there, where that little girl is playing <points> - it's for the cars - do you know is that her mum over there? Do you know her at all? I think I recognise her <looks at you idly to see if she recognises you, with no particular ill intent or deep thought>" Then suddenly BAM, there you are with your confrontational "What's your problem?" YABU I'm afraid. You have no idea what they were saying or thinking.

If you'd heard them say something nasty about your DD, you could go over and say, "I can hear you talking about my daughter, please stop" - but you were aggressive and there was no call for that.

yonisareforever Wed 22-Jan-14 22:20:11

its so painful.

an adult snatched a beaker out of my 14 months hand on Tuesday then two ladies had a conversation over me, they were sat either side of me, it was my first time at a group for ages.

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