To think my toddler shouldn't be picked on at play group by a group of mums.

(70 Posts)
Charotte31 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:43:18

My 2 1/2 year old was playing in a car driving it around the part of the hall which is meant for this. A baby was crawling around that part of the room when my DD bumped into her. I was watching and she didn't mean to, she wouldn't it's not like her. The baby didn't cry. The mum come over and picked him up, which I would have done. I was coming over to see if he was ok but Then sat back down with 2 other mums and started pointing at my child and giving her evil looks. She's 2 for god sake!! I went over and asked what her problem was? We ended up having a real to do, not like me at these sort of places!
AIBU to want my child to be able to play, have an accident and not get bitched about by grown woman?!

She wasn't necessarily mean, you're overreacting. She pointed the kid out who banged into her child. That's it.

You're going to need to develop a much thicker skin if you're going to exist.

And what were you thinking having a 'huge to do' with a load of people over fuck all confused . How is that a good example to show the children

nennypops Tue 21-Jan-14 13:46:23

The problem seems to be with the way the play group is organised. If you have toddlers with cars and babies all mixed up together, this sort of incident is bound to happen. Can't they separate toddlers from babies? Anyway this mother should really have been supervising her baby better.

Mim78 Tue 21-Jan-14 13:48:09

Pa! You are right - your dd shouldn't have been picked on by a grown woman. And she should have been supervising her baby, not just letting it crawl off where toddlers are playing.

WeddingComingUp Tue 21-Jan-14 13:49:00

I went over and asked what her problem was?

YABU. You deserved a mouthful back, to be blunt. You felt you had the right to confront someone based on the way they were 'looking' at your dd?

Mmm.

Mordirig Tue 21-Jan-14 13:49:58

If she's dumb enough to let her baby crawl around with toddlers In toy cars then I doubt she is intelligent enough to realise it was not done in malice.
YANBU to be miffed at her getting shitty, but you should have just ignored her.

WeddingComingUp Tue 21-Jan-14 13:50:19

And plonking yourself down next to someone and talking, assumingly confidentially, to another grown up about a child that has (albeit accidentally) just injured your child is hardly 'picking' on.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 21-Jan-14 13:50:26

I think you got what you asked for tbh OP

Artandco Tue 21-Jan-14 13:51:06

Well they shouldn't have picked on her, but you didn't need I go and shout either. Couldn't you have just gone over and said 'sorry I just saw my little one bump into your baby, are they ok'? Then they would have realised you were watching and isn't usual occurrence and would have stopped

TheListingAttic Tue 21-Jan-14 13:54:33

I highly doubt your kid was aware she was getting 'evil looks' and being 'bitched about'. The woman should have been watching her baby better, but if I were you I'd have gone over to 'hope she's okay, and wouldn't it be better if there was a separate area for cars and crawling' - certainly not to aggressively ask what her problem was. Her problem was someone drove a car into her kid!

Davsmum Tue 21-Jan-14 13:55:26

YANBU
The babies mother should have been watching her child not blaming a 2 1/2 yr old for bumping into the child!

sebsmummy1 Tue 21-Jan-14 14:00:46

I don't think you are being unreasonable as it goes. I frequent soft play and playgroups etc and I'm pretty shocked at the behaviour of some of these Mothers. Especially the ones that seem to come in large groups and take over all the seating.

I've seen a fair few 'to dos', luckily none in my direction yet as I don't think my son is old enough. It does seem to be these hysterical Mothers with their pfbs, attacking the Mothers of older children because their darling has taken a bump.

To my mind if a child is so little that they can't take the odd knock they shouldn't be in an area that has larger children running about in it. It's different if it's a designated baby area, but if not just look after your bloody babies and stop starting on other Mothers who have older ones. It will be you soon enough when your LOs get bigger.

PurplePidjin Tue 21-Jan-14 14:01:22

I keep my crawling baby away from the ride-on area at groups because even if the toddlers do look, he's often too low down for them to see.

I do look askance at 4 year olds riding across the baby mat though angry

FayeKorgasm Tue 21-Jan-14 14:03:04

To be fair, OP, I don't think pointing and looking is really picking on your child.

It was an accident, and whilst you naturally want to defend and protect your child, this person feels just as strongly about hers. Think honestly about how you would have reacted if the situation was reversed.

Sadly, you did yourself no good at all having a go at her.

pinkdelight Tue 21-Jan-14 14:05:08

I think going over to someone who hasn't spoken to you and asking them 'what's your problem?' is really aggressive and totally OTT. It wasn't a big deal and you should have left it. No one was picking on your child. It was a very minor incident and if they want to talk about it, let them. Who cares? Instead you instigated a major conflict. Makes you seem either bonkers or rough (ie you like a fight) tbh.

YANBU.

The three women giving your child nasty looks after the accident should be ashamed of themselves and you were right to call them on it. If I had been on my way over to check if her child was ok and saw that I'd be pretty miffed too.

It doesn't matter that your child wasn't affected by it. You saw it, you were affected and you sprang to your DDs defence, as most of us would in the moment.

Plus, the mum was the one at fault! If you allow a baby to crawl about in an area designated for ride on toys you're inviting knocks and bumps.

WhoNickedMyName Tue 21-Jan-14 14:11:59

She sat there and watched as her baby crawled around an area where a toddler was driving a toy car.

And you sat there and watched as your daughter, in a car, headed toward a baby and didn't try to stop her, even though you saw it all.

But going over to ask her what her problem was, was totally unnecessary. You could have diffused the non-situation quite easily and instead you came across as agressive and out for an argument.

needaholidaynow Tue 21-Jan-14 14:13:40

YANBU to have thought she shouldn't have been looking at your 2 year old like that. I wouldn't have confronted her though, just looked back her and raised a sarcastic eyebrow at her hmm <---- Something like this.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 21-Jan-14 14:27:24

need it is my lifelong ambition to be able to raise one eyebrow. It would change my life and communicate my feelings so often more effcetively than mere speech.

I've wanted to be able to do it since I saw Jadie Foster do it in Bugsy Malone in 1976 when I was 9

I'm still practising hmm

ChippingInWadesIn Tue 21-Jan-14 14:31:53

BOP - you've either got it or you ain't grin

hmmhmm

^^ thanks Dad smile

needaholidaynow Tue 21-Jan-14 14:36:29

I suppose I could just stick with THE GLARE. Very effective communication method!

TheXxed Tue 21-Jan-14 14:39:05

OP you made the wrong decision, you have no idea what they were saying. You created a confrontation and but was surprised by her reaction. hmm

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 21-Jan-14 14:41:59

Unless you actually heard what they were saying YABU. It is possible that she was pointing at the ride on car and complaining about them being used in a group where small babies crawl around. Ride ons in toddler groups used to piss me right off (usually because it was my ds barrelling around on them so I'd be obliged to follow him everywhere and clear his path of small babies when all I wanted to do was sit down and drink my tea)

BitOutOfPractice Tue 21-Jan-14 14:54:07

chipping I ain't!

notso Tue 21-Jan-14 14:55:02

Me too BitOutOfPractice DD just did it after 1 day of practice. I just look like I can smell something horrible hmm

OP YABU.

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