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To ask my husband to stop farting?

(176 Posts)
WhatWouldCaitlinDo Tue 21-Jan-14 11:38:16

Seriously, it's toxic. Yesterday, he was dressing DC, aged 18 months. He let a ripper go - the strong, silent type. The poor child burst into tears, pointed at her nose and flapped her arms around in total distress. shock

Can anyone recommend any remedies? A cork up his bottom? Nose pegs for all the famiyl? Cutting out meat, beans, dairy, alcohol, gluten and sugar, so he survives purely on fruit, vegetables and oxygen?!

Help help help.

TheNumberfaker Tue 21-Jan-14 11:40:22

Yabu. Try to get used to it. It's a normal bodily function!

Shinyshoes1 Tue 21-Jan-14 11:41:11

Better out than in

Trapped wind is painful

Lancelottie Tue 21-Jan-14 11:41:16

Your plan sounds good except for allowing him the fruit and veg.

tinkerbellvspredator Tue 21-Jan-14 11:42:45

YABU as the toxic farter in my family I sympathise with your DH. Milk/lactose appears to be my nemesis for the record. Although no clear causation has yet been found for last night's atrocious smells...

formerbabe Tue 21-Jan-14 11:46:13

Be grateful... My dh does it in bed and then puts the duvet over my head!

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 11:56:26

My DH is the same and having gone through eliminating different foods, we now realise it's because he frigging INHALES his food at such a rate, that he swallows loads of air along with it. angry

His friend (a large man) commented on it the other day and said "God I thought I ate fast!" DH had eaten the whole plateful when this friend and I had most left still. It was a relaxed on your knees meal so it wasn't too rude of DH but still!

Tell your DH to SLOW DOWN! I keep reminding mine...he's like a dog and doesn't chew!

Mordirig Tue 21-Jan-14 11:56:48

[shocked] no sorry despite it being a normal bodily function if he has previous for vile stinky ones he should go to another room or something.
It's disgusting to force an abnormal smelly fart onto other people.

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 11:57:31

And why should OP "Get used to it" it's fucking horrible to smell the contents of someone elses' bowels! It's shit...that smell is literally shit and gasses from shit. Who needs that in the bedroom or sitting room!

curlew Tue 21-Jan-14 11:59:59

If you are going to fart, you leave the room. Shitting is a normal bodily function too, but you don't do it in the living room.

WhatWouldCaitlinDo Tue 21-Jan-14 12:01:16

I'm not talking about normal farts - if we had a canary (think coal miners), it would totally die. These are proper nuclear stinkers. In his old job he was thrown out of a meeting, and he has cleared a pub before on a stag. That is hardcore.

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 12:02:04

Curlew I am with you! The amount of people who think it's ok to fart in front of their family....stink the room out with their odours is amazing! My DH has now been trained to leave the area. He only has to nip out...he doesn't mind now...he used to do it when I was eating! shock

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 12:02:23

Does he eat fast OP?

Skullfucker Tue 21-Jan-14 12:02:38

sad I'm surprised so many are accepting!

My DP are from the undead!!!!! They're violent and can make me leave the room. He does it as soon as he wakes up in the morning which knock me sick and we actually argue over it.

He also does it after sex which really fucks me off.

Apparently he is fine at work but funnily enough when he is back at home they come thick and fast.

I can hear dd farting from her room in the night . I'm doomed sad

Pfft, I'm not going to get up and leave the room because I need to fart - anyway, holding it in is really painful and sometimes it just happens without warning!

Yes, farts are gross but unless he's delibrately doing it in your face or holding the duvet over your head and forcing you to smell them, I think YABU.

AwfulMaureen Tue 21-Jan-14 12:05:01

DoctorsHow selfish. You'd inflict the stink of your shit on others because you can't be bothered to move?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 12:05:16

I have never understood why it is ok to release a foul smelling gas into a room with people in it.

It STINKS!

I am traumatised by my father who would, from his laying position on the sofa like bloody Vitellius slowly elevate his leg and push wind out.

Seriously, something - possibly a large dog or small seal - had obviously crawled up there and died because you have never smelled anything like it. It could strip paint. It could have been used in times of war instead of mustard gas. It could take the make up off Jordan.

I have zero tolerance for anyone who thinks it is acceptable to subject others to their foul stench. Get off your flatulent backside and take yourself into the next room.

Or the garden.

Or next door's garden.

Or the next town.

But don't aim your frigging arse at me.

Now.

does anyone have a paper bag I could borrow? <hyperventilates>

TheNumberfaker Tue 21-Jan-14 12:08:59

If you can't fart in front of your own family, what has the world come to?

Fairylea Tue 21-Jan-14 12:09:21

I couldn't live with someone who thought it was okay or funny to fart like that all the time - unless someone has a serious bowel issue (as my mum does for example) then you can normally hold it in and leave the room quickly or go to the toilet.

My ex dh used to be like the ops husband and to be honest it totally turned me off him in every way. Who wants to have sex with someone farts like that?!

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Tue 21-Jan-14 12:10:38

It's come to a really great, thoughtful and considerate world, that's what it's come to grin

People who happily fart in front of others should be forced face first into a cow pat. wink

auldspinster Tue 21-Jan-14 12:11:32

Activated charcoal might help.

eurochick Tue 21-Jan-14 12:11:37

I bet all these people who claim they can't hold it in among their families manage at work, in the cinema, in a restaurant, etc. They can, they just don't want to.

Generally we pop into the bathroom to let it out! Much nicer all round.

Thants Tue 21-Jan-14 12:12:31

Ask him to leave the room to fart when they are really bad!
Does he eat junk food and red meat? Cut that straight out!

Longdistance Tue 21-Jan-14 12:13:22

<passes op a cork>

He should at least have the common courtesy to go outside.

Skullfucker Tue 21-Jan-14 12:13:24

My 82 year old granny let one go mid conversation while I was stood at the side of her.....I had to turn around while I gagged.

She was very apologetic and blamed it on new medication.

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