to think it's odd that a child without SN...(91 Posts)
who is 3 years and 4 months old, still sleeps in a crib and eats in high chair?
Our eldest still sleeps in a travel cot while we're away at other people's houses - she's in a toddler bed at home and was from quite early on (as she's a climber), but the lure of seeing what grandma has squirrelled away in her not-childproofed house would be too much so she's in a travel cot then (she can't climb out of the travel cot like she can a cot with bars).
As an old gimmer I would say no probs. People rush their DCs on as they assume they are advanced for their age, then have probs with them not staying in bed and getting down from the table. Do whatever makes your life easier is my view.
but know I will get blah blahed for this opinion
My sister was still in her cot at 4 years old, she just liked it! My older siblings and I were all rushed out of the cot because there was another baby due and it was needed, but she was the youngest so no one else needed it then! My Mum said I was most unhappy to be leaving my cot, cried for weeks apparently! So some children seem ok with the big bed, others are not so keen. My sister managed to grow up into a functioning adult though, so it does not look like it did her any harm in the long run!
I agree you should do what's easier and what the child is ready for but sometimes I feel you have to give the child a bit of a chance to learn how to do certain things in time for pre-school/school etc.
My friend insists on her 3 YO sitting in a highchair at home as he gets down too much if not but at preschool he constantly gets down from the table and wanders round with his food, she says they should insist he sits down (which they do) but she isn't teaching him at home.
One of DS2s classmates mum complains the school moan to her he can't get dressed completely by himself (end of YR) but she does it for him every day.
However, they do all develop at different times and where one child can do their shirt buttons and shoe laces at 4 or 5 another will struggle at 6 or 7 as they physically can't do it.
A bit weird, but it's more a reflection on the parents than the kid.
I think it's an 'only' thing. I have a friend whose DS (no special needs) was still in a cot, high chair and in nappies (not through failed potty training, but just because they thought he 'wasn't ready' yet) when we went to stay with them when he was 3.6. I have to admit to being a bit shocked - my DS is a similar age and was long past these things. But then mine is not an only (and had younger siblings so we needed the cot and highchair); my friend's son is an only child (and not really by choice). I suspect that she was just clinging on to his babyhood for as long as she could.
It depends somewhat on the highchair doesn't it? We had one that you put onto a normal chair and I am fairly sure mine were still using it at 3 with the tray taken off so they could sit at the table. They wouldn't have been able to eat comfortably at an adult sized table without some sort of booster.
I also know a couple of people with scandinavian style highchairs (tripp trapp etc) and their children used them until 8 or 9ish.
My NT DSs (3.2 and 2.2) are both still in cotbeds with the sides on and highchairs.
They don't need to be. But they don't particularly try to get out of their cots (although capable of doing so safely) so we haven't got around to taking the sides off. We did talk about taking them off before Christmas but we were going away and they had to sleep in travel cots so it seemed silly to get them used to no sides before that. And we have moved recently and moving again soon, so partly we have kept it as a familiarity thing.
They sit in their highchairs for dinner and regular chairs for breakfast and lunch. Mainly because we only have two proper chairs at the moment and DH and I use them at dinner. Again, the DC are quite capable of sitting in chairs, but their highchairs are sturdy and large enough for them and we don't have other chairs yet. We will soon, but there's no rush.
My dd is 3...she sleeps in a toddler bed and sits on a normal chair to eat. Occasionally if we eat out, then she sits in a highchair. She fits fine as she is only dinky.
I am a firm believer in pick your battles. If my child slept all night in a cot and ate everything you gave them in a high chair the she would still be in them.
For example this morning my youngest sat on my knee and I spoon fed her porridge doing "open the tunnel for the train". She then drank her milk from her baby cup.
Then she went upstairs and got ready happily.
She has now gone to school happy, dressed, clean teeth with a full tummy and decent breakfast.
she has no sen just a stroppy mare ( angel child according to the school).
On the way to school we held hands and talked happily about the plans for her birthday in a couple of weeks - you will be horrified to know she will be 8.
My daughter still fits in her cotbed without a problem at almost five years old because she is tiny. She doesn't have the sides on and its more like a proper bed. Usually a waiter offers dd a high chair when we go out to a restuarent much to dd's indigation.
My DD1 was in her cot bed until DD2 came along and turfed her out. DD1 was 3 and 3/4 when DD2 arrived. She used her high chair for ages too (though not much beyond 3 I wouldn't think). It was big and padded and reclined. DD2 was out of both by the time she was 2.
I don't think it's weird. Children are creatures of habit and his chair and crib are probably a routine he doesn't want to get out of.
My Ds is 3. He sleeps in a cot bed with the sides up. We tried for 2 months in a bed but we kept finding him asleep by the stairgate by his door, asleep on the floor. So we put the sides back on. He could easily climb out but he must like it. He sleeps really well so we are not worried at the mo.
He hasn't been in a highchair for about 18 months though and will sit nicely at a table.
I Dont think that it is an only child thing at all.
My dd is an only child and she was out of her cot and high chair by about 2years. Her buggy by about 3 but i only really used it if i needed a lot of shopping because the basket was massive and i dont drive.
I hate this only child stuff. My friends ds at 5 cant dress himself because his mum does it for him and he isnt an only child.
I guess it can be just doing things in a way that still feels comfortable and familiar too. I've never kept one of mine in anything like that for a while, in fact my last did everything the earliest (though I would have enjoyed 'babying' her for longer!) But I know it can often felt a bit intimidating moving on and dealing with things in a different way, especially with things where you lose control of them and have to trust them more. She may feel safer and more in control using things like cots and high chairs and when she gets more confident she'll move on.
I'm not sure it is so much an only child thing as a youngest child thing. Our decision to move dd out of a high hair and the cot bed were both more about her baby brother needing them than it being specifically the right time for her to move.
In dd's case she was still happily in her highchair when we moved her to a booster seat at 3.6. Mealtimes are important to us - we both often work evenings so that we can all eat as a family every night. It is our family time. As a result it is important to us that dd is the correct height so that she sits at the table, eats nicely, uses her cutlery correctly and chats to us about her day. (We are slightly less strict with Ds's table manners as he is 7 months old!) The high chair still fitted her so it would have been daft to waste money on a booster seat if we hadn't needed the high chair for her brother.
We also eat out a lot and again this is important to us. We try and take her booster seat but if we forget or can't bring it - even at 3.10 - we give her the option of a high chair. Usually she prefers to sit on her knees or try and find a cushion but occassionally (one notable occassion was when she had an ice cream sundae for pudding in a very tall glass that was roughly eyebrow height for her) she opts for a high chair.
There are many things I think I have cocked up as a parent but mealtimes is one that I am very confident I have got right.
DH distinctly remembers sitting in his high chair, so it must have been big enough for him when he was quite old. Odd he wasn't turfed out as he has a younger DSIS. I'm guessing as they are less than two years apart they had two high chairs and it didn't matter.
Both mine gave up on the high chair very young. Mostly because it was too big for the kitchen, impossible to clean and I hated it.
DD1 got turfed out the cot for her DSIS and DD2 naturally moved into the double bed because it was there and she wanted the cot space for toys.
However, she carried on BFing long after cots, high chairs and nursery were a distant memory. So I never judge ages for this sort of thing.
My (only child) DS was out of his cot at 2 and a bit and out of his high chair at about 18mo. He has long legs and to shoehorn him into the Antilop would have involved having to bend them the wrong way. He was kept in the pushchair too long for my liking because his grandparents liked to use it but we gave it away when he was about 3.10.
I hate this only child thing as well NicknameIncomplete. My friend has two, the oldest still waited to be picked up out of her bed and carried downstairs each morning until she was 6. And the youngest still insists on being spoonfed at 3.10. Neither likes to dress themself. Friend prides herself on doing everything for them. People who parent that way can have one or more children.
Oh for god's sake enough with the only thing! I know more parents with cant be arsed so just leave them in nappies/cot etc. having one is not a default setting for bad parenting you know. Am so sick of people being judgemental.
Have ha this sanctimonious 'advice' for nearly all 8 years of DS's life and you know what being only had nothing to do with it. In the restrictive eating group I went to at clinic there were MORE parents of multiple children than onlies. He was still using pram/push chair at age 4 because of undiagnosed joint problem (and now for same reason we take a scooter so I can pull him if he over does it) not because I was mollycoddling him as he was an only.
List flipping well goes on!
You know every kid is different. Godson hated toddler bars. Stayed in cot until he was he was 4 because he couldn't handle have those side things made him feel hemmed in. Whereas in cot he could see through bars. When they went to stay at grandparents he was happy to sleep on floor. Eventually he went straight to a bed, no side bars. As someone said, it is unlikely they will be in the cot when 15 so does it matter?
As an aside son still liked to eat meals in his high chair at that age. It was designed to be a seat for older children (you turned the padding over once straps no longer needed. When we had our Saturday movie nights with dinner in front of TV he liked to use the high chair tray. He also liked to use it for drawing until we got his art desk when he was 5.
My dc had a cot designed so one side could be taken off. Dc2 (NT and small for age) was sleeping in it until he was I think 5, when he inherited his 7yo brother's old bed which he had outgrown, and it was fine.
My two were both using Tripp Trapps at that age, so technically 'high chairs' I suppose - they still use them, in fact.
My middle son was in a cot well past his third birthday, he slept well there so we left him in it. He would sleep in bed from the age of 2 at my parents house or when we were away from home, we just didn't want to buy a toddler bed for a few months so we waited until my eldest was top bunk ready and moved him when we bought bunk beds.
Do you think the way they are treating their DD is affecting her?
I think it's down to the child's personality as well. DD1 always wanted to do everything herself and was picking out her own clothes and (at least trying to) get dressed at 2. DD2 at nearly five will happily let you do everything for her- I don't, but she just doesn't care about clothes or doing stuff for herself.
Who knows what unconscious cues I have given them, but they definitely have different personalities too! Families just find what works for them. I don't particularly care about "milestones" and when kids (or indeed adults) must do this or that by a certain age.
definitely agree with the fight the battles that need fighting
gecko is really really not a morning person
if shes tired then she gets tickled awake and I help her get dressed
she will be 7 on the 7th of feb
if shes not tired she tries to get dressed and have breakfast before I even get up to surprise me
I'm with Chocco and dozey on this. Def. pick your battles and if it ain't broke don't fix it etc etc.
My youngest is very much younger than the others (10 years) and is def my last one so there's no pressure from a younger one to push him along. Last night I cut up his tea and fed it to him whilst we snuggled on the sofa looking at a book. It was lovely. He's nearly 7!
He hsleeps,in his toddler-sized bed still (no bars, just one of those ikea little beds), still fits him perfectly and will do for another year or two I hope. And he has a 'high chair' at the table (no tray, and old fashioned wooden one with a higher seat and little arms so he's the right height). Mind you he is a tiddler size-wise....
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