AIBU as a newbie here to wonder why some of the users here can be so judgemental?

(42 Posts)
Newmummee Mon 20-Jan-14 22:11:51

I have noticed that sometimes people ask things and if another doesn't agree they can be quite rude or blunt about it. Some things I read are quite judgemental as I'm sure we do not know the full stories or backgrounds of others.
Also are there any lighthearted / jokey sections on this forum?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 20-Jan-14 22:14:44

Some thread can get that way, but AIBU can be very supportive and has helped a lot of people.

Sparklysilversequins Mon 20-Jan-14 22:16:15

Chat is better if AIBU is a bit too harsh, which I agree it can be.

Iamavapernow Mon 20-Jan-14 22:20:36

It's human nature to judge. It's a instinctive reaction. AIBU is where you will find the worst of the bluntness on mumsnet. However the whole forum's reputation is of bluntness, truth, to the point.. etc. Maybe another forum would be more to uour taste?

There are light hearted convos and jokes here too, mostly in individual threads. I guess you just have to browse and find them.

Iamavapernow Mon 20-Jan-14 22:21:07

*an instinctive reaction.

Iamavapernow Mon 20-Jan-14 22:21:49

*your taste.

grin

Marcelinewhyareyousomean Mon 20-Jan-14 22:22:08

Perspective has something to do with it too. Differences of opinion can come across in a harsher way than they are intended. I was accused of starting a thread about a thread and being nasty. I can't go on active conversations on my tablet and had no idea what the other poster was on about.

yonisareforever Mon 20-Jan-14 22:24:09

well we are the public and the public is generally....

there is also a core of my lot in life is worse than yours who tend to bring some misery in their wake, but there are utterly hilarious posters too...light hearted and wonderful.
Ignore the nasty ones and stick up for people if you can be bothered.

maillotjaune Mon 20-Jan-14 22:24:34

Yep this is a form with a reputation for bluntness. If you are being a twat you will be told so.

OTOH if you need support you will get it - often on an amazing level. Just not in AIBU!

Mintyy Mon 20-Jan-14 22:24:38

You're better off avoiding the Aibu topic!

MeepMeepVrooooom Mon 20-Jan-14 22:27:38

The AIBU section can be ruthless but I personally have found alot of support here. I think the main thing to realise with AIBU is that people will tell you exactly how it is/how they see it.

Other parts of MN for example "chat" aren't quite as bad sometimes but people will still be fairly blunt if/when they think it is needed.

TBH it's part of why I like it. If I post in AIBU I tend to run for cover in case of a flaming but it hasn't happened to me quite yet.

Try _Chat which is in the Fun & Games section. AIBU isn't for the faint-hearted.

DramaAlpaca Mon 20-Jan-14 22:38:14

I think you're being quite brave to start a thread in AIBU!

Chat tends to be much kinder on the whole, and can be very funny.

When you are new it's a good idea to browse around & find the topics that suit you & your personality. There's something for everyone here.

PedlarsSpanner Mon 20-Jan-14 22:40:35

_chat is less um er boisterous

ROAR at DramaAlpaca, what a bloody GREAT name

GREEN WITH ENVY

Thatisall Mon 20-Jan-14 22:43:48

I think AIBU by nature is blunt because AIBU is a blunt question. People answer the question really honestly and while sometimes it can be cruel, sometimes that brutal honesty is really helpful. I've been flamed twice and put in my place a few times and hinestly it's probably done me good and made me reassess alot of things.

Problems really start when you've been on here years and start dishing out AIBU-strength honesty in RL. It's messy, don't do it grin

MadBusLady Mon 20-Jan-14 22:43:58

That's the internet.

DramaAlpaca Mon 20-Jan-14 22:44:03

Thank you PedlarsSpanner smile

StarSwirl92 Tue 21-Jan-14 00:12:47

Hang on, I thought this was why we're called vipers...

I've found that some posters are arsey across the forum, it isn't just aibu.

These people are nasty just because they feel they can be on an anonymous internet forum.

One person chucks in a grenade then others pile in and join.

Having said that some goady twats who post get the pasteing they sometimes thoroughly deserve..

My advice is think before you post something personal and sensitive.

YY give AIBU a swerve and head for Chat, or one of the interest topics. if you want to get information post in the relevant topic.

Ignore the goadys and the professionally offended people, report anything that breaks the guidelines to MNHQ, and don't be an arse yourself, and you will be fine.

MN is no different to life. Think how many arseholes you meet every day. grin

Notputtingupwithanyonescrap Tue 21-Jan-14 09:33:47

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

meditrina Tue 21-Jan-14 09:37:23

MN is full of MNetters - and there isn't a single "type". Though I'm sure if you think there is you will find lots of examples to confirm your bias.

AIBU is blunt.

If you want lighter, try chat.

Or the relevant topic - especially if you have a question where posters with expertise/interest in that area are likely to be the most helpful/sympathetic or share humour about similar circumstances.

CuttedUpPear Tue 21-Jan-14 09:39:28

<proudly polishes Nest Of Vipers badge>

StormEEweather Tue 21-Jan-14 09:47:00

You might have to be a bit robust for AIBU but it can be really supportive too. I had a thread in a previous username where I asked if I was BU and over 90 people agreed that yes, I was, but only three resorted to insults. As a result I changed my mind and DCs are the better for it. I have also used the Relationships and Mental Health parts and had some amazing help with really hard issues. Mumsnet is ace.

mrstigs Tue 21-Jan-14 09:50:30

I found aibu first and never really move from it. I like the frankness tbh, and find the posters who regularly use this topic have a fantastic sense of humour and give really honest opinions without dressing it up so to keep everyone happy. If you just have the need for everyone to agree with and like you then other topics can do that for you, but if you ask 'aibu?' you need to remember people are just as likely to say 'hell yes' as they are 'no of course not'.

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