What presents/money amount you received for your wedding?

(125 Posts)
busylizzy12 Mon 20-Jan-14 16:15:53

Excatly that, really. If you don't mind?....

expatinscotland Wed 22-Jan-14 14:03:23

Yes, hip, it's a way of asking for money, and like all such 'requests', crass and tacky.

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 14:06:16

I was shocked to find you can buy the request for money poems on personalised cards.Here shock

expatinscotland Wed 22-Jan-14 14:12:42

How tacky and lazy.

TotesAmazeGoats Wed 22-Jan-14 14:13:53

hip we received an invite with a tacky poem, and we declined to give anything. We knew the bride and groom both personally and thought our friendship extended to more than just fifty quid. (Not to mentioned between us we'd spent nearly £1000 on the hen and stag weekends and the event itself).

It became a massive issue after the wedding (for the bride more than the groom) I wish now I'd just stuck a tenner in the bloody card. I had no idea for some it's clearly a way to take the sting of the expense of a wedding. It's rocked our friendship though.

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 14:15:09

My thoughts exactly expat, I had never heard of these requests and when I did I assumed you wrote your own poem at least. But no-just get them printed and buy in bulk. shock

I have not been to a wedding since 2003, and I am soooo glad. Seems the 'getting married' bit is the least important bit.

LookingThroughTheFog Wed 22-Jan-14 14:21:22

The 'I've provided an out of the box wedding' comment makes me wonder if more people are seeing it as a piece of theatre that they're laying on, rather than a commitment to another person that they're sharing with family.

We asked for no gifts (we were living together and had a child) but people were lovely and we were genuinely grateful for everything. Mostly we were grateful for people schlepping up to London on the hottest day of the year while England were playing in the quarter final of the world cup, just to watch us promise each other.

Grennie Wed 22-Jan-14 14:24:48

Token gifts which were very nice. Probably worth altogether £120?

hiphipreplacement Wed 22-Jan-14 14:35:51

I've had one poem.... Yeuck! Hated it but we gave money.

It wasn't a 'if you must get us a present...' thing though, it was 'this is what we want. Please help us pay for our honeymoon'

They went on holiday the Monday after their honeymoon to somewhere hot and sunny in Europe, all paid for. This apparently wasn't their honeymoon though. Just a little break. They've yet to book or go on their honeymoon.

glasgowsteven Wed 22-Jan-14 14:42:25

I gave a couple who got married recently a pizza cutter

it was on their wedding list
BIL and SIL

they are both lawyers - must take home 200k a year between them.

and live in a 500k house

me and my partner are both students.

this wedding list was exhaustive....things on it like silver cutlery, blue ray player, I pod....

grabby!

dontcallmemam Wed 22-Jan-14 14:44:36

glasgow, my brother was a student when we got married.
He bought us a loo roll holder, probably the most used gift to date.

Mummytotwox Wed 22-Jan-14 14:46:21

Two photo frames and £680 in cash x

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 14:48:30

glasgow that is just awful-an I pod? shock

LydiaCrawford Wed 22-Jan-14 14:55:43

Trying to remember...10 year ago.

We didn't ask for anything and had a small wedding.

DH's parents gave us £1K towards the wedding. My brother gave us £100. Most other couples gave us between £30-£50 or a gift like a nice vase/photo album etc. Richest people there (SIL & BIL - property worth at least £1.5M and an income unlikely to be less than £300k/year and probably much, much more) gave us nothing at all (yes, we did give them a present at their wedding - they are just like this! Had broken second hand stuff from them as presents before - rarely pay their fair share when out for group meals etc!).

lanbro Wed 22-Jan-14 15:05:14

We didn't put anything about gifts in the invitation and got £1000 cash, £1000 various vouchers, lots of photo frames, champagne, crystal jugs and glasses and loads more! My godmother had given my parents £5000 towards the wedding but they surprised us and gave it to us in Premium Bonds! Didn't expect anything so everything was very gratefully received.

I personally hate giving cash, can just about get away with vouchers but prefer to buy something personal. For one good friend I bought a huge multi aperture photo frame, took my camera and printer and gave it to them the morning after full of wedding photos!

glasgowsteven Wed 22-Jan-14 15:09:13

They went on holiday the Monday after their honeymoon to somewhere hot and sunny in Europe, all paid for. This apparently wasn't their honeymoon though. Just a little break. They've yet to book or go on their honeymoon.

It was their honeymoon....No matter what they think smile

glasgowsteven Wed 22-Jan-14 15:10:42

yes an I Pod.

A blue ray,

a flat screen TV

An I pad.

The list goes on.

She put on FB once "gift list scanning at JL"

so I think she went a bit carrazzzzy

in fairness she got it all!

and more.....

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 15:30:09

angry glasgow. What a cheek, and more fool the people buying the stuff!

pianodoodle Wed 22-Jan-14 15:52:17

That's good to know hip

It's people with little money I would worry about putting off as well. I wouldn't want people feeling awkward about the amount they gave!

dashoflime Wed 22-Jan-14 16:03:00

Hmm lets see-
Some money towards a honeymoon (DHs family)
A teapot
A handmade letter holder
Coasters
His n' hers key rings
Loads and loads of John Lewis vouchers
Some other vouchers- Argos, M+S, Debenhams

That's all I can remember

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 22-Jan-14 16:07:53

Those poems or outright requests for cash are simply awful, just be honest and charge an entry fee which it equates too.

Sadly most weddings nowadays are more about the do and less about the vows. Lots want to recoup what they have spent via their guests or fancy a honeymoon they cant afford but believe they should have one so get others to pay.

Christenings seem to be heading the same way, most are nothing at all to do with the religious aspect.

expatinscotland Wed 22-Jan-14 16:11:22

I so agree, Happy. Look at all the threads on here, looking for a way to tout for money in christening invites, or talking about bars at christenings.

I don't know. I didn't add it up then and I'm certainly not adding it up now. All items were to set up our life together and to be cherished for the duration. I do know the most expensive was a crystal vase which actually wasn't on the list at 200. Five friends bought it together from uni as it matched other glasses etc. the cheapest was a cutlery (at one item) we did it so people could choose their own 'limit'.

Still use, still love ten years this year x

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 17:13:44

YY Happy the vows seem the least important bit these days. confused

hiphipreplacement Wed 22-Jan-14 17:30:35

Nonsense. I don't know anyone who thinks the vows/actually getting married aren't important.

Mumsnet just means we hear able all of the gift twattery.

Sparklingbrook Wed 22-Jan-14 17:32:32

They are important hip but not as important as other stuff apparently. grin

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