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Unwilling to "share" medication with DH

(103 Posts)
PMDD Mon 20-Jan-14 12:14:30

DH and I are on antidepressants, Sertraline (sp?). I am on 50mg a day and DH is on 200mg. My prescription is for a packet that contains 1 pill a day. DH prescription is a packet that is a double dose and he has to take 2 pills a day - therefore the equivalent of 4 of my pills a day.

Normally we keep our renewal prescription in the bathroom cabinet next to each others, so when I renew my medication, I renew DH too. For the last few months I pop both the pescriptions into the drs and 2 working days later the chemist has it ready to pick up.

This month DH moved his medication and also his form to repeat the prescription but I didn't know where. I told him that I was renewing mine last week but he forgot to give me his repeat form.

This Saturday morning DH said that he had run out of medication and could he take mine instead? I said no because even if I get his renewal form to the drs on Monday morning, the earliest his prescription would be ready would be Tuesday, perhaps even Wednesday. This would mean he would need to have 16 of my pills to cover the 4 days.

I couldn't even 'borrow' back as his individual pills are double my dosage. The drs will start asking questions if I hand in another renewal form 2 weeks early.

He went bananas and said I was selfish. I don't think I was. Was I?

AdmiralData Tue 11-Feb-14 00:24:08

Sorry for being a pedant but ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pill_splitting. Copy and paste if it doesn't work. My AD's CANNOT be split in half to halve a dosage. The information leaflet provided specifically says so. I am therefore assuming it applies to other meds.

kali110 Tue 21-Jan-14 14:42:11

Coola im so jelous i wish mine did!

Gruntfuttock Tue 21-Jan-14 14:15:37

Coumarin I agree with you. I wouldn't dream of behaving like the OP, but it seems she thinks its more important to 'teach him a lesson' than to help him.

Coumarin Tue 21-Jan-14 14:14:30

That said he needs to take responsibility for his own medication and health. He can't rely on someone else all the time. In future tell him he'll have to get his own prescription and pick the tablets up himself.

Coumarin Tue 21-Jan-14 14:11:53

He can get an emergency supply from a pharmacy whilst he waits for his new prescription.

I say 'he' but to be honest that'll soon be 'you' if it isn't already. After 2 days going from 200mg to 0 he's going to be feeling very, very ill. He won't be able to drive and will soon be at a point where he'll barely be able to stand.

You are being cruel. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't help someone in this situation. Especially someone they're supposed to love.

Kali - my GP has a dedicated repeat prescription phone line. I can also order them online. I never have to go into the Dr's to order a repeat.

My ADs are on repeat.

Tmrgl Tue 21-Jan-14 07:44:45

Agree with CouthyMow
YANBU he is playing games - I recognise the symptoms from my own DH.
Even if he had to put meds in work bag he could have left repeat slip behind.
He should be taking responsibility for his own treatment - including organising his own repeats.

bumbumsmummy Tue 21-Jan-14 07:16:28

If it was in his bag surely he just needs to take that script to pharmacy

This sounds dodgy to me

Yanbu at all

Letitsnow9 Tue 21-Jan-14 07:00:29

I would ask the doctors to fax the prescription or go and pick it up. I can see why you won't share but can also see his point. I've shared medication before but ONLY with someone who was on the exact same thing at a lower dose (and it was a CD)

livelablove Mon 20-Jan-14 23:51:04

I can see there is a potential for conflict in a situation where two people are suffering from the same serious health problem. You will tend to need sympathy and emotional and practical support from your partner when you are sick or feeling bad but if they are sick too they may not be able to give you that. Not just that but there is also a potential for competition in who is the sickest or who is coping better or whatever. I can just see a lot of places where problems could arise.

I know this is not the point of your aibu but I think that you may need some help with this issue. You need to arrange something so that you can both get that support you need from other people if your OH is feeling bad and can't do it for you. Maybe some relationship counselling to help you work out how best to deal with this difficulty of you both being ill at the same time.

FanFuckingTastic Mon 20-Jan-14 23:33:01

You need to take responsibility for your own meds, I speak as a long term medication user. If I forget, I suffer the consequences. I know what options are available to me if I run out, most chemists will give you a couple of days worth, and an emergency doctors appointment will give you a prescription you can use straight away.

Part of getting better is being able to manage your own medication and know your needs, if you can't and someone else sorts it for you it's a form of dependence and when you are suffering from mental health problems, that can be a bad thing, it allows you to remain ill and not take full responsibility.

The only time I ever rely on anyone is when I am too sick to take care of it myself, and it doesn't sound that way. A couple of days of withdrawal are more than enough to ensure I don't forget again, remembering to always take my medication means I get well. Forgetting a prescription is a big thing and I think he does need to take charge more of his own health.

kali110 Mon 20-Jan-14 23:22:41

Yes they can be put on repeat.mine have been on repeat for years

CouthyMow Mon 20-Jan-14 23:21:01

Look at the evidence - chooses to move his meds and repeat slip, thus thwarting the OP's 'system' of remembering to order repeats.

Chooses not to give OP repeat slip when asked for it as OP noticed hers needed doing, so asked for his.

Does nothing to put in repeat slip himself.

Runs out of meds.

Asks OP to use hers, despite knowing that the OP can't easily replace them with his due to different dosages.

(Maybe trying to avoid censure from GP / Receptionist about it, yet expecting OP to take the rap if she needed to renew HER prescription a full 2 weeks early?! - that's just conjecture though)

OP suggests calling OOH for an emergency prescription. He refuses.

OP suggests going to pharmacy for emergency short term scrip. He refuses.

STILL does nothing about having run out of meds.

Then starts getting angry with OP when she still won't share meds.

OP ends up putting in his repeat prescription.

He won't collect prescription from surgery.

Hmmm...I may be an over cynical old bag here, but that chain of events doesn't say to me that this was ALL genuine oversight IYSWIM.

CouthyMow Mon 20-Jan-14 23:14:34

And the OP even asked him for his repeat slip - HE chose not to give it to her. The cynic in me says that he engineered this as a WAY of shouting at her.

CouthyMow Mon 20-Jan-14 23:12:31

If I was faced with the effects of not having my seizure meds or going to a pharmacy and waiting for them...I'd go to the bloody pharmacy. Even if the OP's DH ISN'T thinking clearly - the OP TOLD him he could do that.

And yet, he still chose not to. And then has the gall to moan at the OP for not giving up her meds.

What gives him the right, depression or not (and yes, I HAVE been depressed before, so much so that I've been an inpatient for it) to decide that the OP WILL do what he wants to fix HIS fuck up or get moaned at / shouted at??!!

He is a grown up, as am I. If I make a fuck up on ordering repeats of my seizure meds (and I do often enough that my GP's receptionist one eye rolls me when I ask for an emergency scrip...) then I am the one to fix it.

The OP's DH had a choice - he couldn't change the OP's refusal to share her meds, which we are ALL told not to do. But he COULD change HIS actions after that point. He had a choice between seeing an OOH doctor for a prescription, getting an emergency short term prescription from a pharmacy, or deciding not to bother and to suffer the side effects of a sudden withdrawal.

If HE chose the most stupid of those actions, then he has nobody to blame but himself!

CouthyMow Mon 20-Jan-14 22:58:38

For a med where you will suffer instant effects from sudden withdrawal of, such as antidepressants or anti seizure meds in my case as I forget to renew scrips frequently due to memory issues, you can go to ANY pharmacy and they will telephone your GP to do an emergency prescription of the pills, though your DH will have to wait whilst they make up the prescription.

OR if he goes into his surgery, most will do an emergency repeat in a situation like this - but again, he will have to wait for the GP to be free, possibly until the end of the GP's clinic hours, to get the GP to sign the prescription.

He will also need to go to his GP and request a repeat prescription.

Does your surgery do repeat prescription requests online? Mine has just started doing this, which is making my life much easier.

No, unless your DH's pills have a score line in them, I would NOT be letting him use yours, as any other type of pill / tablet / capsule is NOT meant to be split.

Tbh, I'd be making HIM sort out this issue himself without taking your pills anyway, as it's the only way for him to take responsibility for his own repeat prescriptions.

In future, he has a choice - he has his meds in the med cupboard along with the repeat slip, your system, and you sort out the repeats, OR he keeps his meds and repeat slip where HE wants, and HE sorts out his own repeats.

YANBU to refuse to let him take your pills when there ARE solutions available to him.

XiCi Mon 20-Jan-14 22:28:50

I cannot believe that you would rather see your dh suffer than give him a couple of your pills to tide him over

Do you actually like him?

Wantsunshine Mon 20-Jan-14 22:18:45

I feel sorry for the ops husband. Just cannot see why you would make such a big issue of this.

Thants Mon 20-Jan-14 22:06:14

I've been told by my doc directly that I can halve sertraline. They aren't coated or sustained release and have a split line down the middle for breaking. I know some tablets you shouldn't break, but sertraline are fine .

Thants Mon 20-Jan-14 22:03:45

I was under the impression you can't get ad's on repeat?

MiniSoksMakeHardWork Mon 20-Jan-14 21:36:03

Yanbu. Why should you potentially suffer because he's not organised himself.

However, check whether your surgery offers an auto repeat service. Dh, our dc and I all have a card which gets stamped with the date our next script is due. When we collect them, we just tick the boxes on the meds we need and hand them straight back. No worrying about getting a script in on time. I've done it before where I've missed my own anti-d's repeat and the few days wait was hell.

AndHarry Mon 20-Jan-14 21:20:51

YANBU - I would be hugely annoyed if my DH was angry at me for something it was his responsibility and within his capability to do but just couldn't be bothered. What a childish way to behave! I'd be telling him to sort out his own prescriptions from now on.

PenelopePipPop Mon 20-Jan-14 21:15:44

It isn't the OP's fault. But people are suggesting that he sounds like he has quite bad depression or anxiety (implicit in the fact he's on a high dose of Sertraline) facing the risk of acute withdrawal symptoms which are at best unpleasant and at worst actively dangerous and that given the power to assist someone in that situation many of us would. It isn't ideal. He should have handled it differently. But if the OP's DH had the kind of mindset where he planned ahead, took positive action when he encountered minor setbacks, never blamed anyone else for his problems and dealt with adversity calmly you would have to wonder if he needed the sertraline at all.

PMDD - Deal with the crisis if necessary by giving him your meds. Explain what you did to your GP - you won;t have done anything illegal and no rational GP would blame you for helping your DH avoid acute withdrawal symptoms. If you share a GP he or she may be able to gently comment to your DH on getting prescriptions filled early.

But handle how to avoid this and the fact that he may well have behaved like a dick another time.

whatever5 Mon 20-Jan-14 21:08:12

OP, how long has he been on these tablets? Has he ever done this before? If it is a one off, I would help him on the condition that it doesn't happen again. I would be annoyed if he didn't at least try to get an emergency supply though.

JenBehavingBadly Mon 20-Jan-14 20:57:43

If he's not prepared to take responsibility for his own prescription or call the Dr or speak to the pharmacy, then I don't see how its the OPs fault that he's had no meds when he's had the means and opportunity to get them.

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