To get pissed off some days with living with a fussy eater.

(132 Posts)
jimijack Tue 14-Jan-14 19:07:12

DH.

He is perfectly capable of making his own meals but it's nice for us all to sit down and eat the same meal of an evening.

He is rubbing off on ds which pisses me off the most.

He has annoyed me tonight with his fussiness, I could happily tip tomorrow's tea over his head right now.

Frustrating is an understatement.

Rhubarbgarden Tue 14-Jan-14 19:44:49

LTB

volestair Tue 14-Jan-14 19:46:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clara26 Tue 14-Jan-14 19:46:24

My mum has had to make 3 meals every meal time for about 25 years. I swore I'd never put up with it like my mum has. I was wrong. My exh was fussy and my DP is crazy fussy! It's not that he doesn't like stuff it's just that if it's not junk, and it's not his favourite he won't eat it. Recently I've got him to eat my curries chillies and pasta dishes as long as there's no veg in them. What he doesn't know is that every week I make a giant pan of veg, carrots, courgette, red peppers, onion, celery and loads of tomatoes, cook it without water, blitz it and use it as a base for all these meals. He has no idea and often comments on how good food is without veg.

It pisses me right off and as we are ttc I've told him when we have a dc he will eat what he's given. I'll do whatever it takes to not have fussy kids.

Mim78 Tue 14-Jan-14 19:47:05

If it's rubbing off on your child you need to have a serious word with him.

To start with I agree with others that he will have to cook for himself if he's going to be so fussy. Also he is rude to say "I'm not eating any of that".

However the bigger picture is that it is rubbing off on your son. Your dh needs to educate himself about food so he realises that he is damaging himself and that it will damage your son if he goes on the same way.

My nephew (dh's nephew in fact but as such mine too) is terribly fussy eater even at 15 in exactly same circumstances - his Dad he looks up to is v fussy and so he won't eat anything either. Really similar stuff like only eating chicken and chips with ketchup. One Christmas wouldn't even eat turkey - it had to be chicken - as if they are not exactly the same! Your dh sounds lovely Dad generally, but he needs to realise as responsible parent that he is damaging his kid by acting like this!

FrillyMilly Tue 14-Jan-14 19:47:06

My DH is quite fussy but wishes he wasn't. He wants to come with us for Chinese or curry and not have to eat an omelette. He can't help the way he is. At meal times he either has a variation of what we are having or has something else. He's never rude to me about what I cook though. My DS is a fussy eater to the point that I have been in tears and taken him to see health care professionals. It is really not something that is easy to overcome and I do feel guilty for enabling his behaviour but I can't cope with him not eating and therefore not sleeping or the hours and hours he will cry for if I give him something he doesn't want to eat. If he grows up to be a fussy adult I'm very sorry that he will be irritating people.

CromeYellow Tue 14-Jan-14 19:52:46

yanbu, I've got one of those and if I had known how bad he was before moving in with him, I never would have. I didn't notice or care much for a long time because food had such a limited role in my social life and he rarely ate around me.

Now I have a toddler who used to be a fantastic eater, ate everything, loved vegetables in particular but is now refusing food because she only wants to eat the crap daddy eats. It drives me nuts, it's irritating in every way, can't go to many restaurants because of his fussiness, embarrasses me in the ones we can go to, fills the shopping with substandard crap, can't eat proper meals together as a family because dd ignores her own and tries to eat his. I hate that she's picking up his habits, being exposed to horrible attitudes about food and been given a 'want' for foods I don't want her to have.

It's annoying and at times, infuriating.

PrivateBenjamin Tue 14-Jan-14 19:54:14

How did your DP deal with it ikea?

ikeaismylocal Tue 14-Jan-14 19:56:49

I think the blending up of food has a lot to do with why my dp was so fussy, ds is 12 months old and we have been doing baby led weaning, ds happily eats all fruit and vegies infact he will always choose fruit/veg over carbs or meat to the point that we now give ds the carb+protein and then offer veg after otherwise he will just eats only veg.

Mil was telling me that she was terrified of dp choaking when he was a baby so he was only allowed pured food untill he had all his teeth--bonkers lady-- When she finally gave him actual food he refused everything.

He has slowly built up the food he eats and now eats everything. I think the adults who are increadably fussy need to take responsibility for trying at least to improve their fussyness especially before they have kids.

Mim78 Tue 14-Jan-14 19:57:42

PS - you can probably tell that I am not keen on fussy eating.

I am pregnant for second time, and when dh cooks I will eat it all to set good example for dd even if he's inadvertently included something I have a real aversion to. So if I can eat whatever is in front of me while pregnant your dh has no excuse.

MrsOakenshield Tue 14-Jan-14 19:58:38

god, he sounds awful, like you have 2 toddlers. I would simply refuse to cook for him at all and tell him that until he learns to eat in an adult manner and set a good example to DS he can eat out of the home. For every single meal. I really would not have that in the house at all.

ikeaismylocal Tue 14-Jan-14 19:59:50

Dp delt with it by trying things and then once he realised peas for example were not that bad or even added to the flavour of a meal we cooked with them often and then added the next food, I think it was more about fear that a physical dislike of foods.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Tue 14-Jan-14 20:00:09

DW has texture issues with most non-starchy veg and will retch uncontrollably if she detects a piece in her mouth.

Flavours are no problem, although brought up on a rural poverty diet she has taken 20 years to tolerate any spice level above korma.

DD's a bit "urgh, greeeen!" but that's diminishing.

I however will eat anything including durian, andouillette and mushy peas.

hoobypickypicky Tue 14-Jan-14 20:00:49

Our fussy adult won't eat any main dish without meat in it. So that's no ratatouille etc, no pizza unless with ham on it. He won't eat quiche or omelette and will only eat pizza with ham on it, not even plain cheese and tomato. He refuses point blank to even try anything new. He refuses to eat any of the vegetarian meals which the rest of the household eat, often saying "I'm not eating that" or "I'm not eating that shit". He manages to eat corned beef and spam well enough (though I'm not cooking that shit! grin ).

He will eat certain items of salad but only without dressing. He asked if the salad I offered yesterday was without addition. I told him it was and he didn't notice that it had a liberal dash of dressing on it.

Tomorrow I'm going to give him the same salad vegetables but this time tell him that it's got dressing on it after he's taken a mouthful. I can guarantee you that he'll say he won't or "can't" eat it and that it's disgusting. hmm

I guarantee you he'll go hungry if he does, too!

MrsOakenshield Tue 14-Jan-14 20:04:45

My mum has had to make 3 meals every meal time for about 25 years.

not being mean to your mum (she's certainly not alone), but she hasn't had to do that at all. She has chosen to do that, to pander to fussy eaters. I made the decision to bring up DD veggie as DH is and all our main meals are veggie and the last thing I wanted was to end up with a child who was all about meat and I would end up having to do 2 meals half the time - no chance!

Methe Tue 14-Jan-14 20:05:37

This would be such a deal breaker for me. How pathetic!

clara26 Tue 14-Jan-14 20:24:02

Mrsoakenshield, you are quite right! The older of my two younger brothers and I always ate well but it's the baby of the family who was allowed to eat what he wanted. Now the older brother (who still lives at home at 31) is very fussy. The baby is 27 and still lives at home, both are pandered to. They don't have issues with food they are just bloody spoilt. I've told my mum time and again to cook what her and my dad want and let them make their own but she won't because they make a mess and don't clean up.!

volestair Tue 14-Jan-14 20:25:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

volestair Tue 14-Jan-14 20:27:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noblegiraffe Tue 14-Jan-14 20:37:48

Not sure why being prepared to put anything in your mouth and swallow is seen as such a badge of pride, tbh.

Nanny0gg Tue 14-Jan-14 20:40:52

It would be lovely to eat everything put before me. I envy people who like a wide variety of food and can go out to eat anywhere, or don't worry if you're invited to someone's house for dinner. It really isn't funny being 'fussy'. And why you think having a limited diet is something someone would choose is beyond me.

The only thing I will say is that there is no need for children (unless they genuinely have issues too) to be the same.
I made absolutely sure that my children had a much wider (normal) diet available than me. And one of them has grown up to eat a varied diet and the other is getting there...

I'm better than I used to be, but I do think that's partly because my palate has changed with age (I was in my fifties before I could eat cheese!), but I still hate vegetables.

So stop being quite so nasty about people who probably can't help how they feel about food.

Sirzy Tue 14-Jan-14 20:43:04

There is a massive difference between someone being a fussy eater and someone eating a very restrictive diet and sulking when others don't follow the same way of eating. As an adult he should surely be making steps to try to stop his son follow in the same path anyway?

CaptainSweatPants Tue 14-Jan-14 20:46:23

I can't imagine how you'd date anyone who only ate chicken nuggets, spam & chips
Did you ever go to restaurants?
Is that really all he eats?
What does he have for breakfast for example

HumphreyCobbler Tue 14-Jan-14 20:48:27

It is being a rude git that is the problem here, not being a fussy eater.

Blueuggboots Tue 14-Jan-14 20:50:34

My exH was fussy - wouldn't eat food with certain things in - vegetarian lasagne (lovingly prepared for veggie bro and girlfriend!) because it had courgettes in it.

When I met him, his dd was 4 and he religiously cooked her skinless sausages and mash or fish fingers or shepherds pie (the ONLY 3 things she would eat!) when he had her to stay despite eating other things himself because she was so fussy.
It ruined a couple of family holidays because trying to find those things in a foreign country was a nightmare!
Suffice to say, my DS has never been given the opportunity to develop fussy eating habits!!

sooperdooper Tue 14-Jan-14 20:53:09

I've been put off dating someone before because of their fussy eating habits, it irritated me

How an adult can say they don't like any fruit or veg just makes no rational sense, a banana is nothing like a pea, an orange or a carrot, in taste or texture!

I totally understand everyone will have preferences on taste or texture of food but to lump all fruit and veg together is just daft

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