Regarding Hen Do?

(30 Posts)
Fancyashandy Tue 14-Jan-14 15:43:13

Going to a hen weekend of a much younger soon to be bride and details are starting to emmerge. Seems there are activities planned, dressing up as schoolgirls, special t shirts being printed and starting to dread what else the MOH has planned. Don't want to be an old party pooper and be all cats bum face but this is really not my thing at all especially being about 20 yrs older than the main younger guests.

AIBU and just being an old bore and how can I get through this without lookinglike a cross between a St Trinians school girl and Baby Jane - basically looking like a sad old git!

ipswichwitch Wed 15-Jan-14 09:09:56

Op I was going to suggest dressing up as the teacher smile
Don't think I'd be thrilled at the prospect of spending the weekend away with planned activities I haven't got a clue about til we get there.

PeterAndresSprayTanner Wed 15-Jan-14 09:01:41

I'd wear the t-shirt to show willing, but I'd be going in jeans - no way would I be dressing up as a school girl! Why the fuck would you want to? I've always found it a bit creepy to be honest.

Don't panic about the activities; if it turns out to be something like pole dancing then a polite 'no thank you' and a nice smile would be sufficient. I'm betting there will be enough pissed people there willing to throw themselves into the breach.

Stand your ground - you can go along and there is nothing wrong with not participating in things you are uncomfortable with. It does sound like my idea of hell on earth TBH, but if you are close to the bride then you can decide if you think it's worth putting up with it.

I can't see the point of places which are so loud the walls vibrate, where there's nowhere to sit down and where you can't hear yourself think let alone have a conversation. I'd much rather go for a nice meal and get merry whilst eating good food, drinking nice wine and having a laugh with friends. I'm 35 BTW!

Fancyashandy Tue 14-Jan-14 23:26:42

Looks like the organisers are keeping it all secret which is annoying. If I'm going to give up a weekend with my family, travel hours to get there and spend a fair amont of money - then I at least want to know the itinerary and whatbis planned etc.

am definitely going and will have a great time - just don't want to bump gums with the organisers. If We know what'd planned up front then boring older nes can politely opt out rather than leave it till the day.

matildamatilda Tue 14-Jan-14 21:17:28

DON'T GO!

I had misgivings similar to yours before a hen do. I went, and tried to play along, it was embarrassing. I actually had to demur from an "activity" because I just couldn't bear the thought of playing a game like that in a semi-public place. And I was the same age as everyone there. I can be as raunchy as anyone else but only with close friends and certainly not out and about.

It's much more awkward to be there and sort of opting out--like you'll be the only one not dressing up or you'll just sit there whilst the "activities" happen?

Just don't go! Send a nice gift and tell them to have fun.

rookiemater Tue 14-Jan-14 20:32:15

Sorry I didn't mean the ladies looked hideous I meant the event.

MakingEveryDayCount Tue 14-Jan-14 19:46:11

YANBU. I have seen those dos where older ladies dress up as police wardens or school girls. They look hideous.

God,it's a bit of fun, since when does it matter if they look what some deem to be 'hideous' or not?! grin
Hideous is subjective, anyway. I personally think those who slap the fake tan on until they look like they've been Tangoed and have those ridiculous comedy Scouse brows painted on with raggedy hair extensions in that wouldn't look out of place on Red Rum or Black Beauty hideous.
Each to their own. grin

rookiemater Tue 14-Jan-14 19:42:32

YANBU. I have seen those dos where older ladies dress up as police wardens or school girls. They look hideous.
I'd email the MOH and say that whilst you are happy to go along, you just aren't prepared to dress up. I'd sofen the blow by saying that " you young girls can get away with it, but I'll look ridiculous".

I'd say that you really want to be there to celebrate the event, but you hope that she understands that you won't be dressing up.

MakingEveryDayCount Tue 14-Jan-14 19:27:22

Hen nights like this are my idea of a great night out grin
If it's not your thing though, why not just go along for a few drinks and not get dressed up?!
If the bride is a good friend I'm sure she won't care whether you're dressed up as a runaway St Trinian's schoolgirl or not, as long as she's got you celebrating her night with her!
Just go show your face, have some drinks with her. Better than party pooping out of the whole thing altogether and shows you do want to share her celebrations with her.

GimmeDaBoobehz Tue 14-Jan-14 18:05:08

Activities sound worrying. I'm thinking stripper/dirty dancing or something like that.

I'm 23 and I would really struggle with doing something like that.

Like some pp's have suggested I'd either go as a teacher or just go in whatever you want to wear and just join in some of the activities.

Be honest to the bride if it really upsets you. I'm sure she wouldn't want to put you in an awkward position.

Thank goodness I've only ever been to one hen 'activity' and that was yurting! I was 18 at the time and must be an old fogie as I loved the drinking/being big kids and playing on the kids slides etc.

I have my sister who will organise my hen and I know she wont go too mad with it as she's in her 30s and we both have DC. The worst she'll do is tell embarrassing stories about me when I was a kid dress me up as a schoolgirl anyday

CynicalandSmug Tue 14-Jan-14 17:49:42

Whatever happened to just getting pissed? Games? Activities? Costumes? Fuck off. I'd be the grumpy sod perched at the bar!

diddl Tue 14-Jan-14 17:34:23

Yes I'll agree with that.

My ideal activities wouldn't be alcohol related competions for example.

Fancyashandy Tue 14-Jan-14 16:55:21

Well it depends on the activities. A tango class or something I could deal with though dread to think what the 'fun' alternatives could be.

diddl Tue 14-Jan-14 16:17:57

Dressing up (not necessarily as a school girl) & tshirts wouldn't bother me too much.

But "activities"?

<shudders>

QueenofallIsee Tue 14-Jan-14 16:16:49

I am grateful that my SIL to be (10yr my junior) has a) sent out a stern email banning Ann Summers style dress up and b) opted for a two hen parties (though both are optional, her view being that the wedding is the vital bit) one of which is an afternoon tea at a ritzy place and the other a mad weekend on the wreck. I have new love for her in light of what you are going through!

DontmindifIdo Tue 14-Jan-14 16:14:43

I don't do school girl fancy dress.

Just say no. Or could you find bits you can do? I'd find an excuse of some sort so you can't go for the whole thing, but could join them for a couple of drinks/dinner before/after the excuse...

Boreoff456 Tue 14-Jan-14 16:06:01

I cried off my dbros wife to be hen party due to the above.

However I had the excuse that o was pg when booked and as would have been 2 weeks old when we were due to go and also the whole weekend was costing £400 per person. I again pulled the 'can't afford with a baby on the way'.

I was in my 20's but its my idea of hell.

And tbh dressing up as school girls makes me feel a bit sick.

WilsonFrickett Tue 14-Jan-14 16:04:32

YANBU to not dress up as a school girl. Yprobably will be seen as U if you don't wear the special tshirt and join in with at least some of the activities though. And the T shirt may be fine, the last time I was MOH it was just a cute pic of the bride when she was at school and a name/date.

CoffeeTea103 Tue 14-Jan-14 16:04:28

You can still go without dressing up. Agree that the dress up sounds confused but you can still join in.

Fancyashandy Tue 14-Jan-14 16:04:18

Did think about turning up as a teacher with a pair of glasses and twinset and pearls if it came to it. Think the older guests giving the young ones some space and having a more relaxed time would be great if they like me don't want to go the whole hog. Just wanted to canvass some opinions and see if I was just being an old misery.

NotALondoner Tue 14-Jan-14 16:03:58

Isn't that the weekend you have D and V planned?

Such a shame you have to miss the hen party!

YANBU, don't go if it's not your thing. I hate seeing groups of women dressed up in daft outfits and playing silly games on hen nights. I banned all that from mine. You can have fun without making a twat of yourself

formerbabe Tue 14-Jan-14 16:02:04

Hen nights like this are my idea of hell. In my 30s now but hated all that stuff when in my late teens and 20s! You should probably just suck it up and go...its only one night.

Penis whistles at the ready (shudder)

fluffyraggies Tue 14-Jan-14 15:59:44

Go, but don't dress up as a school girl? Just be honest and say 'bloody hell i'm too old for all that, but i'll join in the outing'.

I can't for the life of me understand why dressing up as a (presumably 'sexy') school girl would appeal to anyone as being the perfect way to celebrate a marriage ... but there you go.

AndiPandi Tue 14-Jan-14 15:58:58

Can you contact some / one of the other older ladies and come up with a plan you all feel comfortable with, presumably they will be feeling the same?! You could even turn it into a joke and surporise them all by turning up as teachers rather than school girls?

JeanSeberg Tue 14-Jan-14 15:58:35

Well perhaps you could have a little breakaway group for the others who aren't particularly enjoying all the themed stuff.

Eg have dinner with the group and a couple of drinks but then go back to the hotel when they hit the clubs.

Shopping in the day but meet late afternoon.

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