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To be totally hacked off with the bride and groom?

(225 Posts)
Sarah2506 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:49:11

So we are meant to be off to a wedding in Scotland next month. Quite an undertaking as we live in London and have seven month DD, but they are good friends so we booked flights, a non refundable hotel and arranged to drop DD with MIL for the whole weekend as it's a child free wedding. Fine. Actually looking forward to it as first weekend away, yay!

Then today we get an email saying that, 'unfortunately we've had to make the difficult decision to put the wedding back to the autumn. We were struggling to pay for the wedding on time and think it would just be better to delay a few months so that we can save a bit more and do it properly. We hope you understand and can make the rearranged date'.

Is this reasonable? We've paid out 500 quid in flights and hotel which we won't get back. Travel insurance doesn't cover it as it counts as disinclination to travel. The flights can't be changed- or rather they can but it costs as much as buying new ones! I'm on maternity leave, I'm not being paid, I've no desire to travel to Scotland for the weekend anyway and we won't be able to pay out for the rearranged wedding as well. I feel really sad that we might now not be able to go.

AIBU?

TeeManyMartoonis Mon 13-Jan-14 19:58:42

No, that's ridiculous. Don't bother re-arranging. I would be hacked off, too.

Dogonabeanbag Mon 13-Jan-14 19:58:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kundry Mon 13-Jan-14 19:59:10

Go away and have a fab weekend away anyway.

Then email them back 'I'm sorry to hear you have had to postpone the wedding. Obviously we had paid for flights and hotel as well and these were not refundable. Please let us know when the new date is as we'd love to come but if it is still in Scotland we hope you will understand that we may not be able to make it'

And wait to see if the real reason is that he's been shagging a bridesmaid.

CapeCornwall Mon 13-Jan-14 19:59:41

One month before? wtaf? perhaps its not money as someone else said? cancelling a date one month before regardless setting a new date will incur a lot of trouble and costs with suppliers. Surly they've known costs were spiralling before now?

Ifcatshadthumbs Mon 13-Jan-14 19:59:58

Blimey that's really bad. I definitely think you should have the break away anyway, no point in the money being completely lost and just tell your friend that you won't be able to attend the new date.

JeanSeberg Mon 13-Jan-14 20:00:05

Hmmm I'll eat my hat if this wedding takes place in the autumn/ever.

You should still go for your weekend though!

SaucyJack Mon 13-Jan-14 20:00:17

YANBU to be annoyed......... but I very, very, very much doubt that they've done it on a whim.

Friends of ours postponed their wedding for what appeared to be silly reasons, but having the inside goss I know their relationship was in serious trouble indeed.

Ifcatshadthumbs Mon 13-Jan-14 20:00:50

Ooh interesting point Kundry! Might not be about money at all

UncleGuber Mon 13-Jan-14 20:01:18

I'm surprised they haven't lost money doing this - I can't imagine a hotel being happy at rearranging the date at such short notice.

I'd still go, have an enjoyable weekend away as planned and see how you feel/what the finances look like nearer the time as to the new date although I'd be inclined to politely decline myself

Sarah2506 Mon 13-Jan-14 20:01:23

Ha, interesting you saying the wedding won't materialise! That never occurred to me! The wedding was near Loch Lomond but we were staying in Glasgow, coach pick up and drop off was the idea. I don't want to slam Glasgow but I really don't fancy a weekend there when I've little time left on mat leave, though to be fair I'd not seriously considered it. I don't know many of their friends but there will probably be others in the same boat!

If you're not going to get your money back, you might as well go anyway.

Only1scoop Mon 13-Jan-14 20:02:10

I think I'd feel so utterly guilt ridden if I was bride I'd be Ebaying my wedding dress to send you all refunds.
After I'd Ebayed my fiancé that is confused

JanineStHubbins Mon 13-Jan-14 20:02:21

I v much doubt this is about money, and suspect this is a means of putting a brave face on serious relationship difficulties. Don't email anything nasty to your friends. If you can't make a re-arranged date, then tell them that when the time comes.

YouTheCat Mon 13-Jan-14 20:02:22

They'll be losing deposits for venues etc - doesn't ring true that they are postponing.

PortofinoRevisited Mon 13-Jan-14 20:02:29

That is just so unbelievably rude! I would be raging! Like others have sai, I would go and have the weekend and make the most of it - they will just have to fuck off.

Only1scoop Mon 13-Jan-14 20:02:50

'Intended'

JeanSeberg Mon 13-Jan-14 20:03:06

And wait to see if the real reason is that he's been shagging a bridesmaid.

Or she's been shagging a bridesmaid...

LittleMissGerardButlersMinion Mon 13-Jan-14 20:03:35

Glasgow city centre is a lot nicer now since they did some work on it, it's a great place for a weekend honestly smile

LineRunner Mon 13-Jan-14 20:04:08

Glasgow's amazing!

CarriesPawnShop Mon 13-Jan-14 20:04:13

Go for your weekend and enjoy it.

I'm guessing there's another reason why they've cancelled postponed the wedding. Because they will have lost thousands on lost deposits as well.

JeanSeberg Mon 13-Jan-14 20:04:20

Glasgow is great or alternatively you don't need to leave the hotel!

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Mon 13-Jan-14 20:04:42

Definitely still go and have a lovely weekend break. Your MIL is probably really looking forward to having the baby too.

Weeantwee Mon 13-Jan-14 20:04:42

Wow that is bad. Surely they must have realised ages ago that they couldn't afford it. I would still come up to Scotland for the weekend, it's not that bad smile You could come across to Edinburgh if Glasgow isn't your thing.

GrumpyInYorkshire Mon 13-Jan-14 20:05:16

Glasgow is a fantastic spot for a weekend away. Go! You'll have a great time. And this "rescheduled" wedding is never going to happen....

ThistletoeAndWine Mon 13-Jan-14 20:05:28

I don't think your 7 month would
Incur that much extra fees ... Why don't u go and take dd!! Scotland is lovely! Loch Lomond is stunning!!!!

If not try selling the weekend on somewhere like gumtree, either way you are out of pocket of u don't go

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