To begin to loathe my 'friends' smug Facebook comments?

(53 Posts)
AlmondFrangipani Sat 11-Jan-14 22:45:43

I used to love a good browse on FB, seeing what my friends and family are up to etc. But since having my DS I just loathe it now. It feels like every day I log on and see another smug 'my baby slept for 8.5 hours last night, I'm so refreshed what a wonderful start to the weekend' post.

I've lost all perspective I'm sure but I've had a tough 5 months with my LO. Tough birth, strep B, tongue tie, giving up BF, silent reflux...he's never slept more than 5 hours in a row. I just can't be happy for them. It just feels smug and salt in a wound.

newyearhere Sat 11-Jan-14 22:54:48

YANBU. I avoid Facebook for this very reason. It's a constant smug-fest which treats all viewers the same, so no personalisation or sensitivity for other people's situations.

perlona Sat 11-Jan-14 22:57:15

I was horribly sleep deprived because my daughter never slept for more than an hour at a time and acted like she was on speed all day and all night, I consoled myself with the fact that at least she was better looking and more advanced then all the other babies. They may have slept but they were horrible, dopey looking things.

The only advice I have is that they eventually grow out of it and into a routine, one of these days you will get a nights sleep, if you're lucky a full one. Think of all the ways your baby is better than theirs and hide their news feeds. The bastards, yanbu.

HotCrossPun Sat 11-Jan-14 23:04:49

Wow perlona - bitter much?

Lavenderhoney Sat 11-Jan-14 23:05:39

Bin immediately and take up residence on mn.

I think a lot of people are bored with the round robin of fb. It was fun at first, but twitter and Pinterest are so much better for the here and now.

My dm ( now departed) listened in silence to me telling her about posts about perfect lives and said " but they just say that, don't they? I expect their neighbours say different"

My ds never slept much. I bf endlessly. It was fine. Have you support on mn and rl? There's bound to be a thread for you on here somewheresmile

squoosh Sat 11-Jan-14 23:06:12

Go on a facebook hiatus.

Frusso Sat 11-Jan-14 23:06:21

Yanbu. I'd advise just to stay away from fb.

Mrswellyboot Sat 11-Jan-14 23:07:36

I am sick of Facebook. I only go on now and again and hide feeds from smug people. While I am happy they're happy, it's all one sided and life isn't like that.

MmeLindor Sat 11-Jan-14 23:08:22

I think there is sometimes the feeling of needing to put on a face on FB. They don't have perfect lives or perfect babies.

You can unfollow them. Or at least hide their updates for a while if you still want to use FB.

redexpat Sat 11-Jan-14 23:13:30

You know you can go to their page, and unfollow - I'm not sure what it says in english cos mine is in a forrin language. You don't unfriend, but then they don't show up in your newsfeed.

Yes it's annoying. It's also really annoying when people write that they've passed theri exams with flying colours, and you're still waiting to do yours, or have scraped through, or failed. Insensitive bastards!

1944girl Sat 11-Jan-14 23:14:16

Someone in my extended family has just wrote ''I am feeling so blessed''
The replies:
You deserve all the blessings availble, you are a lovely person''etc.etc.
Cringe

TheArticFunky Sat 11-Jan-14 23:14:19

I don't think they are being smug probably more likely to be relieved. My babies both slept well but it wouldn't have occurred to me to post about their sleep patterns on FB mainly because I never really gave it much thought. If they are thinking about it enough to want to post about it it would suggest that a good nights sleep is not the norm for them.

Xoticdreamz Sat 11-Jan-14 23:15:01

It's all relative , everything is just a stage . My second girl was a dream but at two ..tantrum queen !She is lovely at 16 as long as life is going her way.
The first year or two is starting blocks of parenthood . It's a pike of bollocks to make is a smug fest.

Xoticdreamz Sat 11-Jan-14 23:16:38

I am sick of Facebook though , I wish I could leave but my nose gets the better of me .

Impatientwino Sat 11-Jan-14 23:18:52

YANBU sleep deprivation is horrid and people being smug about sleep will only wind you up.

If it makes you feel any better my DS didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours until he was 8 months old and now at 18 months is still up circa twice a night.

Someone wise said to me 'treat sleep like vintage champagne when you have babies- you don't get to have itmuch but when you do just enjoy it!' grin

stopgap Sat 11-Jan-14 23:20:50

YANBU. It wasn't Facebook, but baby groups that got me. I also had a baby with severe silent reflux (dragged on until 12 months) and he did nothing but scream, hiccup and expect to be carried and bounced 24/7. It was a miserable existence, and I couldn't abide going to baby groups and hearing stories of relaxing weekend brunches, leisurely walks in the park etc.

Is your LO being treated for the silent reflux?

Pooka Sat 11-Jan-14 23:21:01

"blessed". Bleughh.

Every other poster on Facebook is blessed as far as I can make out. Or proud.

Is fine to feel fortunate for good luck and proud of ones children. no need though to advertise. Also goes against my glass half empty upbringing of not speaking too soon/tempting fate.

Pooka Sat 11-Jan-14 23:23:11

Oh - and 5 hour stretches before 6 months were rare as hen's teeth with all 3 of my babies.

So lucky I didn't read your op when any one of them was little because I would have been envywink

hedwiggywiggerson Sat 11-Jan-14 23:27:04

I've unfollowed so many people from my newsfeed that there's barely a feed at all. Tis great though.

I am much less niggled about FB than I was and more likely to interact with the interesting people on it rather than getting irritated with it all.

Toecheese Sat 11-Jan-14 23:37:02

I always think boasty posts are more about the posters insecurity and them trying to look better then others.

PansOnFire Sat 11-Jan-14 23:42:43

Nope, YANBU at all for feeling like that. I've spend a long time since my DS was born feeling inferior and crap because of FB which I now realise was not worth it at all.

My RL friend has always posted constantly smug and self congratulating posts. They are often accompanied by vomit inducing photographs. When I had my DS her posts used to really upset me, I was feeling low and fat and frumpy and she'd be posting about new clothes, spa days and relaxing lunches with friends (that I was seemingly left out from because I had a baby). A year ago she had a baby, she confided in me how hard she was finding it and how her partner would prefer to go out than help. She used to cry to me about how she had to force her partner to even look at their baby. Yet the FB posts stayed the same, instagrammed photos of father and son gazing into each other's eyes, mummy and daddy having a lovely time posts and photographs. The real story was very different.

People use FB to confirm what they want and how they want to appear to other people. When you're feeling bad it seems that everyone is having a much more lovely time than you, but please remember that it's not that way at all. It's all about 'facebook moments', it's honesty not real most of the time.

MBT1987 Sat 11-Jan-14 23:50:53

Aren't these people your friends? Christ on a bike, the vitriol coming out here is ridiculous!

These people are trying to be happy with the fact that their little one is getting in to a routine. That's something to be lauded. You may be cranky, and irritable, and lacking sleep, but it sure isn't their fault.

If you don't like what's being said, unfriend them, and then when they ask why you did it, you can reflect back on what a selfish, bitter reason you're about to give, in the comfort and privacy of your own home. I'm sure it'll be worth it.

squoosh Sat 11-Jan-14 23:52:01

Some people's happy posts are just happy posts, they aren't always constructing some Pleasantville persona to conceal a Ken Loach reality.

lookingfoxy Sat 11-Jan-14 23:59:48

The only time I posted on Facebook was early hours with a pic of a very lively smiley and wide awake baby which said something like 'no sleep for foxy tonight'.
No bragging there more like hoping for some magic solution to be posted, but nope.
Op don't feel bad, there are millions more of us in your shoes!!!

Lucylouby Sun 12-Jan-14 00:00:30

People never post the bad stuff on fb. They may say their dc slept for 12 hours last night, but they don't say that their dc doesn't nap at all all day and is incredibly tetchy and grumpy and whines all day because they refuse to have a nap. And they never post when baby wakes them in the night, for no reason other than wanting to play.
They post that Their child is top of the class and gets full marks for every test, but they don't tell you they have been called in to see the head teacher due to various bullying incidents involving their child (with their dc being the bully).
They fb to say their dc is using the toilet and is dry all day and night at two, but fail to say how many wet pairs of pants and wet beds they have for the next three months.
Do you want me to go on? What people tell me in real life differs completely to what they out on fb. All the above are real things I have been told and read. None of the fb status' are actually an accurate representation of the persons life, just what they want you to think about them. Don't give them any more thought.

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