...about bathing my new baby?

(199 Posts)
scantilymad Sat 11-Jan-14 21:18:07

Hi
I'm a long term lurker but this is my first post.
I am married with one four month old baby. Our baby has silent reflux, a tongue and lip tie that made breastfeeding difficult and I was diagnosed with PND eight weeks after the birth (a score of 19 which according to the HV is pretty high). Anyway, after battling through that little lot, we finally felt like we are getting in to some sort of structure and settling as a family.
My cousin came to visit last night and we shared a bottle of wine and were chatting generally about babies. I mentioned that I sometimes get in the bath with my baby boy in the evening on the days when I remember I haven't had time to bathe or shower for a couple of days and am feeling generally a bit grim. DH never gets home before 8pm so bath, bottle bed are down to me on weekdays.
My cousin looked genuinely shocked when I told her this and asked if I wore a bathing suit when I got in the bath? When I said no, as the point of a bath is to, you know, get clean, she implied it was very weird for me and my son to be naked in the bath together. She also thinks I'm putting him in danger in case I slip and drop him when I'm getting out or that he will drown because the adult bath is too deep. I don't wash my hair or shave or anything in his bath, just sit in it with him.
Sorry this is so long but I genuinely don't know now if I'm doing something inappropriate or dangerous? Am I? Being diagnosed with PND was a massive knock to my confidence and really makes me doubt my instincts/decisions.
Thank you

goodasitgets Sat 11-Jan-14 21:19:50

Not inappropriate at all, you're being a lovely mum to your baby smile

EMS23 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:20:18

It is neither inappropriate or dangerous. Your cousin however, is bonkers.
Keep doing what you're doing, it sounds like lovely bonding time.

SweepTheHalls Sat 11-Jan-14 21:20:28

She is the weird one not you. You carried him inside your body for 9 months, so why on earth shouldn't you bath with him? It is a lovely thing to do.

MamaDuckling Sat 11-Jan-14 21:20:51

I really doubt it! My little man is 7 weeks today and I'm looking forward to our first bath together when he's a little bigger!

I have a photo of me, my two brothers and mum all I the tub together from when we were toddlers, it's lovely and caused us no harm!

Annunziata Sat 11-Jan-14 21:21:30

Of course it isn't inappropriate! It's one of the loveliest things you can do with a newborn.

Cheerymum Sat 11-Jan-14 21:21:38

This is absolutely normal, well done you for doing it despite the PND etc - IME children love it. I love bathing with my kids. Your cousin sounds prudish to me. I know different families have different approaches to nudity, but don't let your cousin knock your confidence. Enjoy, baths are awesome !!

jendot Sat 11-Jan-14 21:21:40

Ignore ignore ignore
Totally normal to get in the bath naked with your baby....
What a bizarre thing for someone to imply is wierd!

Runswithsquirrels Sat 11-Jan-14 21:21:45

I do the same as you.

phantomnamechanger Sat 11-Jan-14 21:22:10

perfectly OK behaviour, she is the odd one!

Shellywelly1973 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:22:18

YANBU!

I think your cousin is strange. Having a bath with your child is a lovely normal thing to do.

oh my god, who thinks like that? inappropriate? it's not, by the way nor is it dangerous. babies love skin to skin contact anyway so make the most of it!

Lariflete Sat 11-Jan-14 21:22:41

Not weird at all. It is recommended that you have skin to skin with your baby for a start and bathing with your baby is a lovely way to get that time!

wigglesrock Sat 11-Jan-14 21:22:48

I have done this with every one of my kids at some time or another. Sometimes it was the only thing that seemed to settle them & then we got into jammies & went to bed. They were lovely times smile

Astarael Sat 11-Jan-14 21:22:50

Not weird at all. I can only do it when DH is home as I've got nowhere to safely put dd in the bathroom but she enjoys splashing around with me so much - it's lovely.

Coldlightofday Sat 11-Jan-14 21:23:01

You've had it tough, OP - you sound extremely level headed, considering!

I bathed with my baby all the time - as long as you have an 'exit plan' (towel etc within easy reach) and you're not so knackered you're likely to fall asleep, it's a lovely thing to do. Skin to skin is important to bonding - my toddler, if he's upset, still finds comfort in putting his cheek on my skin (my chest or neck, usually, but if he can't access that he'll go for my face grin).

Your cousin sounds misguided.

rachyconks Sat 11-Jan-14 21:23:05

Me and DH always shower or bathe with DD (13 months), just as we both did with our parents when we were young. There is absolutely nothing weird or inappropriate about it. I love it - it's so much fun! Splashing & playing!

Yes, getting in and out could be and issue, but bath mats and towels on the floor should help. I'm 29 weeks pregnant and still managing with DD.

I bathe with my two every day. I wash once they are out. its my only way of washing. I love it. they love it. your cousin is bonkers

fishybits Sat 11-Jan-14 21:23:25

DH and I bath with DD, we are naked and have done so since she was born. She's now 2 and her favourite thing is a bath with Daddy.

Your cousin sounds like she's got issues.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sat 11-Jan-14 21:23:36

I used to do this up until my DS turned 7/8 yrs old.

Mrsantithetic Sat 11-Jan-14 21:23:46

The only thing about bathing with a baby is when they do a code brown.

My 16 mo dd tries her best to knock out a poo if we are in together.

Other than that no issues at all.

Your cousin sounds a little bit bonkers. I adored bathing with dd in the early days. Watching the bemusement on her face. As a ebf bsby dp really used to enjoy that time with her also. He was naked. She was naked. Really no issue at all.

Enjoy. In a year lo will probably swill you whilst bashing you over the head with a bath toy grin

Nectarines Sat 11-Jan-14 21:24:06

Oh I love having a bath with the baby. Lovely thing to do together. She is the one with the issue not you!

Enjoy it!

DaisySteinersChickenStew Sat 11-Jan-14 21:24:08

DH and I take it in turns to share a bath with DS and have done since he was a few weeks old. It's lovely. Carry on doing what feels right to you.

GoldenGytha Sat 11-Jan-14 21:24:21

Not weird at all,

I used to love bathing with my DDs when they were babies.

ChristineDaae Sat 11-Jan-14 21:25:10

Your cousin is odd!
My DD is 3 and I'm very lucky to get a bath or shower without her stripping off and jumping in!

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