to find the reply 'really busy' to 'how are you?' every single time really irritating

(123 Posts)
HuiledOlive Fri 10-Jan-14 21:56:36

Its a pandemic.

We're just crazy busy, non-stop busy, busy busy busy.

Do these people never have a slower period? Never consider say stopping Violet's clarinet lessons or Boris's cricket?

And always with a lofty sigh.

HuiledOlive Fri 10-Jan-14 22:44:07

Endoplasmic - that is quite acceptable to have busy periods and less busy periods (under MY criteria! Haha).

MajesticWhine Fri 10-Jan-14 22:44:18

It sounds like "too busy to chat to you" so yes it's a bit irritating.

ArgyMargy Fri 10-Jan-14 22:44:21

YANBU. Competitive busy-ness is sooooooo boring. Us chillaxed types are enjoying our lives much more, IMO.

2rebecca Fri 10-Jan-14 22:45:45

I'd stop asking if you don't want an honest answer and just say "hello".

K8Middleton Fri 10-Jan-14 22:45:46

When I was studying with dc MammaTJ I have never been busier. It was a nightmare lurching from one drama to the next and any downtime was spent trying to recover. You have my sympathy and admiration.

I wonder if most busy people have peaks and troughs and use the troughs for recovering? I don't know.

Yama Fri 10-Jan-14 22:46:39

I am only busy at work. Total lazeballs at home.

Hexbugsmakemeitch Fri 10-Jan-14 22:46:51

It's what people say when they haven't time to stop and chat but don't want to breezily say 'fine' and rush past --in case they get accused of being rude for not stopping.

However, in actual fact, I am busy.

BrickorCleat, not everyone who is busy is failing to organise their life efficiently, some of actually have a lot of commitments.

But, if you can give me any tips on managing my time I would be very grateful. I work full time, with two young DC, as well as caring for two elderly relatives (cleaning, shopping, managing finances) and facing am eviction from my house.

Seriously though, if someone I know told me they were too busy to do xyz, I would offer to help!

HuiledOlive Fri 10-Jan-14 22:48:02

I think its probably a given that with 2 working parents plus dc with a few activities that we're all pretty busy.

Its just the constant banging on about being busy that is dull

K8Middleton Fri 10-Jan-14 22:50:57

Actually I make time for people I like. Just sayin'

wink

stickysausages Fri 10-Jan-14 22:53:17

Being busy is a competition, martyrdom... busy busy bees... so busy.... so important....

Bettercallsaul1 Fri 10-Jan-14 22:53:51

I think, when people say they are "busy, busy, busy" , we translate this as "I'm very busy and important" , a la Bridget Jones ...!

MrsOakenshield Fri 10-Jan-14 22:54:34

can't bear people who say "read a book? I'm waaaay to busy to do that!".

Bettercallsaul1 Fri 10-Jan-14 22:55:44

Great minds, stickysausages....!

sleepdodger Fri 10-Jan-14 22:56:48

Honestly no it's always bloody full on
shock
Unless you want texting now when it's too late?wink
Don't judge
Have compassion
I work over ft
I have dc I spend time with pre bed
I then do jobs dinner etc
I finally get to sit down about now
If you want a better reply don't start with your busy life working 2 days a week
Btw I always ask how they are abs am genuinely interested wink

woodlandwanderwoman Fri 10-Jan-14 23:00:28

When I have had this more than a few times I stop bothering. Have learned the hard way, if people are too busy to make an effort to think of a better reply then they are too busy to need your friendship. They certainly aren't offering theirs to you if you are so inconsiderate as to be needing it.

stickysausages Fri 10-Jan-14 23:01:22

I'm in awe of those who work full time & have kids.... they are genuinely busy... but the ones that piss me off are the sahm's ... some of whom have cleaners... but still gass about how busy they are... at the school gates.... urgh.

woodlandwanderwoman Fri 10-Jan-14 23:02:19

Sadly this applies to my own experience, it's not a comment on everyone else's.

Hexbugsmakemeitch Fri 10-Jan-14 23:02:33

I'm struggling to phrase this so it's not taken too badly but from reading some of the responses hear the ishoo is with no with the respondant...

Don't be so touchy people. However I respond to 'how are you' is not about you it's about me. (You asked after all).

If I say 'I'm busy' it doesn't mean I think I'm too important to talk to you/that I don't like you/that I'm competitive/that I'm disorganised.

It just means I well but rushing off to do something else right now.

I would suggest you stop asking and as a pp said just say 'hi'

clearly I've been unknowingly offending people for years

Hexbugsmakemeitch Fri 10-Jan-14 23:05:01

^ here obviously blush

K8Middleton Fri 10-Jan-14 23:16:10

I am going to stroll about everywhere next week with my swishy new hair, reply to all emails within 2 hours and answer all enquiries of "how are you?" with "very well thanks. Fancy a coffee?". Unless I don't like you in which case "I'm busy, busy busy!".

I might even read a fecking book! grin

BrickorCleat Sat 11-Jan-14 16:05:58

BrickorCleat, not everyone who is busy is failing to organise their life efficiently, some of actually have a lot of commitments.

Spider, I would have agreed with you a couple of decades ago, but in fact I have learned that all of life is choices, all of it (to have DC, our careers, where and how we live) so in fact, nobody wakes in a vacuum one day with a weight of hitherto unexpected commitments on their heads.

It can be organised efficiently and I have worked with people to do so. Interestingly, many if those who complain about their over-committed lives actually refuse to give up the activities that keep them so super busy.

In some cases, it has become clear they feel defined by these activities and need them more than the freer time. Women are especially guilty of this.

There are, I'm sure, a whole lot of fascinating social and historical imperatives for this. I find the subject very interesting.

I also believe that everyone can de-busy their lives if they really really want to.

GlitzAndGiggles Sat 11-Jan-14 16:53:45

My friend says this all the time. She's on mat leave so I try and ask what she's been doing to continue the convo and turns out she's busy maybe twice a week lol

TalisaMaegyr Sat 11-Jan-14 16:58:31

Now. I feel quite strongly about this issue.

I work 45 hours a week, have 2 dc and 2 sdc, get up really early, and don't sit down after doing jobs/housework until about 9pm. So then when someone texts me, or calls me, or initiates FB chat or something, I quite often can't be arsed. It's as simple as that really.

I would like an hour out of my day to myself you know!

Jinsei Sat 11-Jan-14 17:06:49

Well, I don't think I go on about it, but I am pretty much always busy! I'm a mum and my DH travels a lot so I have to keep the show on the road at home. I have a demanding full time job as a senior manager, and I'm doing a part time MBA. I have ageing parents who live down the road and need a bit of care and attention, and a couple of friends who I sometimes help out from time to time because they're really struggling. And I try to have some semblance of a social life too!

I don't mind it though, I guess I'm busy because I've chosen to be so. I hope I don't go on about it too much to other people!!

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