PIL taking the biscuit (or more precisely, the cake)

(48 Posts)

Sorry, this is a bit of a rant and it is about PIL so if you don't like PIL threads look away now.

PIL and SIL and BIL and DM stayed with us for 2.5 weeks over Christmas (SIL got married on 4th Jan and they all live abroad or quite a long way away hence the long stay). So 8 people in a house normally used to 3. Quite a squeeze and all on top of each other / tempers fraying etc etc. They have also left all their worldly goods at our house, filling the cellar and every available storage space and leaving my spare room looking like a jumble sale. So I'm not at my most reasonable.

BUT...

PIL didn't lift a finger all stay. They made themselves pots of tea and breakfast but apart from that were waited on hand and foot by me and DP (with help from DM and DSIL).

Their sole contribution was a Christmas cake which they bought and decorated because MIL doesn't like marzipan so wanted it to suit her.
They left yesterday at last and I am putting house back in something like order - running washing machine on loop etc. Looked around for the last of the cake (about 1/4 still left). THEY BLOODY TOOK IT WITH THEM.

AIBU to think this is like taking a bottle to a dinner party, drinking all night then seeing your bottle is unopened and so taking it back home? And that PIL are cheeky fuckers?

whois Sat 11-Jan-14 14:15:09

So she's saved up washing from home to bring here, to use my electricity, powder and conditioner!

What? Why do people do things like this??

Topaz25 Sat 11-Jan-14 15:27:01

I would see the cake as a host gift for all the hassle they put you through, it's so rude of them to take it back!

HamletsSister Sat 11-Jan-14 15:31:34

We live in an area with holiday cottages everywhere. There are tales of people arriving with 4-5 bin bags of laundry (everything they own?) to use the "free" electric. And people wonder why prices are so high...

SlightlyDampWellies Sat 11-Jan-14 15:33:22

Oh I am totally sympathetic!
My DAunt and her feckless lowlife husband (I guess my 'uncle' ) came and stayed with us for a very very long weekend. They are both very enthusiastic about food, so ate us out of house and home. Stayed up after fecking midnight playing the guitar while the Dcs were trying to sleep and when DH and I had to work the next day, and brought a single bottle of wine.

Which again they took home with them with the comment 'well, we did not drink that so I suppose we might as well...'

They were staying with us because apparently they were too broke to afford a B&B, but the weekend was their stop-off before heading to Southampton to get a 6 week cruise around the world.

I had a MN thread about it at the time I think.

LegoStillSavesMyLife Sat 11-Jan-14 20:45:50

stinking bishop nope she does bring washing i her, i'll give her that.

I play entirely different game with MIL. She has a very 1950s stoneage view about clothes washing (and person washing). So I try and gather up as many of her clothes as I can and boil with bleach wash them and get them back to where they were before she notices. My BP is two fleeces and a dressing gown.

Christ knows what I'd say if she every worked out what I was up to.

AndHarry Sat 11-Jan-14 21:04:57

Go through their stuff and throw out all the bubble wrap and other crap. How dare they take over your house with their stuff while they're off jollying?!

Can i throw out the black bag full of coat hangers? It comes with a long story about the shop that gave them away as they were closing down.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 12-Jan-14 10:24:25

It's a bit hard to shrink everything in a wash, stinkingbishop, but it's an absolute doddle to turn it all pink with the judicious placing of a brand new bright red wool sock.

I have the full set of pink underwear to prove it sad

SuburbanRhonda Sun 12-Jan-14 10:25:39

OP, put the hangers on Freecycle.

People bite your hands off for them (well, I would) blush

LondonMother Sun 12-Jan-14 10:30:35

My parents knew someone who asked neighbours to keep an eye on her house while she was away on holiday. On the day she left for her holiday, she started off and then remembered when she'd driven a short distance that she'd forgotten something, so turned around to go home and get it. When she let herself into the house, she found the neighbours sitting in the kitchen drinking her tea with a load of their clothes in her washing machine.

TalkativeJim Sun 12-Jan-14 10:33:51

I would not hesitate to go through it ALL and throw out EVERYTHING along the lines of bubble wrap, coathangers and other rubbish.

'Oh! I thought that must have been rubbish of ours - I threw it. What?! You brought bags of coathangers and bubble wrap when we said you could store essentials? No wonder I thought there was so much rubbish there! We do need some of our own storage space, you know! It's your fault - you should never have brought stuff like that here. Of course it would end up getting thrown away.'

WitchWay Sun 12-Jan-14 10:46:46

LondonMother shock angry !!!!!

fuzzywuzzy Sun 12-Jan-14 10:53:29

I need to know how it ends londonmother what did your DM do, what did your neighbours do? Did yur parents get the keys off them immediately?

SlightlyDampWellies Sun 12-Jan-14 12:46:14

Londonmother that reminds me of the time my DParents sold their house and left behind for the new owners a bottle of champagne and pots and pots and pots of beautiful patio plants in flower. They got a few streets away before turning back to 'take a last look' at their old family home only to drive past and see their (much disliked) neighbours carrying the pots away to their own home.

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 12-Jan-14 14:02:50

LondonMother that made me laugh!

OP do people actually do that? I wouldn't dream of taking food or drink to someone who's hosting then fuck off home with it lol!

Yes Londonmother, what WAS said?

I would love to sort through and chuck stuff but MIL would go crazy. She would probably never speak to me or DP again. She isn't the most reasonable person on the planet. If you hadn't guessed that from this thread!

This is the same mil who when left alone in my house rearranges things. Like moving flowers and vases she has bought to more prominent locations etc. she takes 'make yourself at home' rather too literally!

fuzzywuzzy Sun 12-Jan-14 15:04:45

surely if she goes off on a sulk and never speaks to you thereby never visintg again would a be a good thing? Do it, start chucking stuff out, liek the bubble wrap and the hangers

ddubsgirl Sun 12-Jan-14 16:21:03

we have mil&fil most Christmases and they chip in and we go with mil to do final ship get veg ect we pay and they give us some money back but every time mil buys something and never shares and takes it home christmas before it was a massive bag of monkey nuts we all like them she had put them in the cupboard and everytime kids asked about them they got snapped at no they are mine but dmil envy she will happy sit there and eat all our chocolates and she will bring her own but never offers them up and takes them home again last xmas we let sil host them it was lovely!

MIL never speaking to you again is surely a win-win grin

LondonMother Sun 12-Jan-14 20:23:03

Hi all, sorry to have gone off and left everyone in suspense! I'm afraid I can't remember how it ended up. It was my parents' friend. I suspect the freeloaders neighbours said their own washing machine was broken, or something of that sort. There was no bloodshed, I know that.

Silence from MIL would indeed be golden but DP loves his mum. Damn it.

And yes to eating our chocolates. MIL scoffed the last of my toblerone but all her stuff was carefully stashed upstairs.

Yes i am a bitter bitter woman. grin

SiliconeSally Sun 12-Jan-14 20:39:49

OP are your ILs the ones who want to maintain a home permanently in your basement and stay for months? Because they have no permanent base and expect to live with you etc?

No, that's someone else. I remember reading her thread with a mixture of trepidation and determination i wouldn't get caught that way!
They haven't moved into the cellar, just filled it with stuff. And they have no permanent base so do stay with us for about 3-4 months a year, but not in a single stretch.

It is getting a bit silly to be honest but i am trying to keep this thread to lighthearted exasperation rather than the deeper problems!

Enjoying the peace at last. If i had started this last week it may have got very grumpy!

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