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More of a WWYD...

(63 Posts)

Browsing a dating website, I've just come across a friends partner. They've been together 6 months, site says he has been online within the last 30 days. Describes himself as looking for fun but nothing serious.

Do I tell her? I'm angry on her behalf!

plainjanine Wed 15-Jan-14 12:29:18

Yep, you did the right thing OP. Shitty as it is to be the one breaking the news, you have dome them a favour and shown some backbone. That's what being a true friend is all about, eh?

RacheyMo2 Wed 15-Jan-14 10:24:54

You definitely did the right thing OP. As much as I would hate to be told this from a friend, if want to know!!
Hope all went well!! Xx

pantsjustpants Tue 14-Jan-14 19:24:41

Vvb

TheSlug Tue 14-Jan-14 05:45:09

Well done OP, you did the right thing.

CheerfulYank Tue 14-Jan-14 05:29:47

Good for you!

HairyGrotter Tue 14-Jan-14 05:26:46

You definitely did the right thing. I'd want to know and if they shoot the messenger, then so be it. At least you acted with wholly good intentions.

Don't go off men, OD is pretty horrible, but it can pay off. I met my fiancé online dating and we're getting married in September, he's amazing, but there ain't half a lot of fucking pricks on there to sift through confused

Well, first friend hasn't texted me again, however she's updated her fb profile picture from one of him and her, to one of me and her taken at a concert last month! I'll ring her tomorrow and check if she's ok, or if she needs anywhere to crash for a few days.

Second friend not responded to the email yet, but I don't think she finished work til 10 so probably not had chance to read it yet.

I'm proper off men at the minute, having being unceremoniously dumped on New Year's Eve, and this really hasn't done anything to convince me that I ever want to meet anyone else sad

JainaProudmoore Mon 13-Jan-14 23:57:05

Those poor women sad
Well done OP, you did the right thing!

VelvetDuvet Mon 13-Jan-14 23:50:26

What a pair of arseholes. sad No doubt he'll be coming out with all kinds of bullshit excuses. Terrible position to be in for you OP.

Bogeyface Mon 13-Jan-14 23:29:32

I just feel bad that I've caused an argument between them

Did you put his profile on there? Did you make him go out tomcatting?

No.

So you didnt cause an argument, he did. Just keeping everything crossed that she doesnt believe the lies he will inevitably tell her sad

DoJo Mon 13-Jan-14 23:16:42

And if he was having sex with someone else, he could have been exposing your friend to all kinds of STDs - you would have felt awful if her health had been affected by not knowing about this.

True!

foslady Mon 13-Jan-14 22:28:43

But you'd feel far worse knowing he was making a fool of her......

I know I've done the right thing, I just feel bad that I've caused an argument between them but she needed to know. Not heard from the other friend yet, but I think she's working late tonight.

foslady Mon 13-Jan-14 22:02:56

You have done the right thing OP, hard as it was to hit send. I hope if God forbid I ended up in their situations I have a friend like you. No one deserves to be treated like that by someone who claims to love them

The friend whose boyfriend messaged me back has just texted to say thanks for letting her know, she's currently shouting at him and in a right state but appreciates me telling her. Bloody bastard sad

TheNightIsDark Mon 13-Jan-14 21:51:50

Definitely the right thing to do. I hope they're both ok. What a shitty thing to do (the blokes, not you!)

RandomMess Mon 13-Jan-14 21:48:11

I think you have done the right think - you've alerted them without being shot. The may choose denial but there is nothing you can do about that.

Just an update:

Couldn't wait til I saw them in person as it was playing on my mind too much. I've sent them both an email along with a screenshot of their beloved's dating profile and just a lighthearted message saying, "Was surprised to come across this the other night when I was cyber-stalking myself ex! Probably an old profile, so might be a good idea to mention it to him to remove it, as it gives off a bad impression and it's been worrying me a little if I'm honest! You know where I am xx"

The screenshots clearly show that they have been active very recently. I'm not going to mention the little chat I had with one of them unless I have to.

Hope I've done the right thing, I've been worrying like crazy sad

I'm going to do it face to face when I see them both this week. Can't drive at the minute so I'm not able to get to see them sooner.

RandomMess Sun 12-Jan-14 20:29:46

I hope you've got copies of the info where you messaged them and they replied so they can't wheedle out of it!

Could you act a bit stupid/naive?

'Dear Friend

Opps, just found this <insert link> whilst searching on the site, looks like <insert name of asshole b/f> forgot to deactivate it - better remind him now you're all shacked up'! smile

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 12-Jan-14 19:39:57

Do it before they get pregnant for crying out loud. If you can't do it face to face, print out the screen shot with today's date on it, and pop it in an envelope and send it to them.

Thank you smile I'm not looking forward, in the slightest, to being the bearer of bad news, but, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would want to be made aware.

What a hideous position to be put in! OP if you are my friend tell me I would rather know!

Good luck wine

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