More of a wwyd regarding IL's referring to unborn baby as 'granddaughter'

(78 Posts)
AmberSweet Sun 05-Jan-14 17:36:50

Even though we are having a boy? Ok tbf to them they don't know we are having a boy (their decision, they wanted it to be a surprise) except it's not really a surprise if they've decided already that baby is a girl?

Everything is 'My granddaughter' and 'She'. DP does correct them and say 'baby' or as horrible as it sounds 'it' but they insist on saying 'she' because MIL just KNOWS that baby is a girl.

The most annoying part is that they were really against us finding out the sex. They said it would spoil things and were really quite pushy and insistent on the matter to the point where DP changed his mind and didn't want to know either until our 20 scan when he changed his mind again and did want to find out (I wanted to know but said that I was happy enough to keep it a surprise if he really didn't want to know). PIL don't know that we found out (because DP didn't want to get a earful from them hmm).

So wwyd? It's so hard for me to know scream at them 'He's a boy!' Everytime they go on! Tbh this isn't the first issue I've had with them over the pregnancy so I'm kind of at the end of my tether anyways. I'm 22 weeks, uncomfortable and quite emotional. Working part time and have a 6 year old Ds so also tired. I just want it to stop!

riskit4abiskit Sun 05-Jan-14 17:39:41

Oh dear what if they buy lots of pink toys and accessories?

nennypops Sun 05-Jan-14 17:39:44

I think I'd be strongly inclined to tell them that it's a boy. Apologise first given that they said they didn't want to know in advance, but say that, given that they are so insistent on defining the baby by gender anyway, you felt they would prefer to have it correct.

Or else, at the very least, constantly refer to the baby as "he" and "grandson" in their presence, and when they accuse you of spoiling the surprise say no, you're just trying to redress the balance.

MildDrPepperAddiction Sun 05-Jan-14 17:39:54

Sounds a bit weird. I would just ignore. They'll find out soon enough it's a boy.

2012baby Sun 05-Jan-14 17:39:56

Grit your teeth and think how smug you'll feel when she's proved wrong...!

kinkyfuckery Sun 05-Jan-14 17:39:57

OMG why stress about it? A lot of people automatically assume a sex on an unborn child. They don't know otherwise, so they've chosen a girl. If you want them to stop calling the baby a girl, tell them it's a boy.

Really not worth getting your knickers into a knot over.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 05-Jan-14 17:40:01

Next time she is mentioned tell them again it may be a boy.
If they continue, or have restricted hearing have some restrictive hearing yourself, forget they didn't want to know and tell them its a boy.
I would too. grin

Pigsmummy Sun 05-Jan-14 17:40:09

Tell your DH to have a word.

revivingsnowshower Sun 05-Jan-14 17:41:12

You could tell them the dr told you by mistake

ImperialBlether Sun 05-Jan-14 17:42:03

I'd let them get on with it and laugh about it in private, to be honest! Just remind them to keep receipts. If your MIL gets on your nerves too much you could be quite sharp and say "I hope you'll welcome the baby if he's a boy" but apart from that let her get on with it and wait for her to say "I knew it would be a boy!"

morethanpotatoprints Sun 05-Jan-14 17:43:22

Sorry, your dp is a wimp and should tell them he found out because he wanted to.
They are ils/his parents, you are both grown ups with your own family.

IneedAwittierNickname Sun 05-Jan-14 17:43:45

My (now ex) ils did this with ds2. Only.we didn't know he was a boy either. Still really annoyed me, actually the 1st thing mil said when he was born was "you were meant to be a girl" hmm

WorraLiberty Sun 05-Jan-14 17:44:11

Tell them if they don't talk about the baby in a neutral way, you'll find out the sex (even though you have) and tell them...

AmberSweet Sun 05-Jan-14 17:44:26

Kinky it's because they point blank refuse to believe it may be a boy which makes me (and dp) worry about what the reaction will be when he's born sad

I just ignore them when they say she to be honest. I don't answer them at all which seems rude but it's the only way I stop myself from blurting it out!

jenwa Sun 05-Jan-14 17:45:46

Just buy lots of blue stuff and leave it lying around. Have blue it's a boy bunting up next time she comes round grin

How annoying though. I'd let it slip that you do know wink

SaucyJack Sun 05-Jan-14 17:46:49

Tell them it's a boy just to shut them up. Job done.

SofaKing Sun 05-Jan-14 17:48:31

My in laws did this too, drove me insane. Sadly I was having the sex they thought each of my three were, so I didn't get the satisfaction of them being proved wrong. Hope you enjoy that!

When they found out I was having ds2 they were horrified as we had ds1 and then dd, which was what they had told us to have, so decided an appropriate response to 'We have good news, we are having another baby' was 'Oh no!'

AmberSweet Sun 05-Jan-14 17:49:19

We have actually bought some blue stuff jenwa but it's been very much hidden in case they see it! hmm

Since we told everyone we were expecting I've had a feeling the baby was a boy. Intuition or something I don't know. But I had the same feeling with Ds only a lot stronger and obviously that was right. Mil just says I'm wrong! I honestly didn't care why gender the baby was but not I'm glad we're having a boy just to piss her off!

NearTheWindmill Sun 05-Jan-14 17:50:05

Jolly good reason not to find out if you ask me. We didn't (dc are 19 and 15 now) and I cannot express how lovely it was to give birth and meet them and then find out. You cannot understand unless you have done it.

I reckon they're probably winding you up to get you to spill the beans because they know that you know, etc.. Just say well we know this baby will be a boy or a girl so don't go spending on anything silly because you can't tell.

FWIW I was convinced DS was a girl and that DD was a boy grin

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sun 05-Jan-14 17:50:34

If they are behaving like this is it better to tell them so that they dont behave badly when the baby is born?
id like to think they wouldnt behave badly, but people can be shits.

ExcuseTypos Sun 05-Jan-14 17:51:29

Next time they say 'she' just say "oh, its funny you think its a girl because we're both convinced its a boy" and then just keep repeating that.

JinglingRexManningDay Sun 05-Jan-14 17:52:24

Christ on a bike is your dp 12? Does he do everything his parents tell him? His job to tell his parents to pipe down and butt out.

ImperialBlether Sun 05-Jan-14 17:52:33

I think you need to video her.

Sit her down and say, "Let's make a video for the baby to look at when it's older. Now MIL, at what point did you know the baby was going to be a girl? <head tilt> Do you think it was your women's intuition? Are you usually right about this sort of thing? So if you had to bet, would you definitely bet on this baby being a girl? What names have you chosen? Tell the baby what gifts you've bought." Keep her talking and she will be mortified when the baby is born.

MrsDeVere Sun 05-Jan-14 17:53:27

kinky don't be so dismissive. Knickers in a knot? How fucking rude.

What the ILs are doing is beyond annoying. It would piss me right off.

Unfortunately I think you are just going to have to ignore them Amber. They are being stupid and insensitive but they obviously think they are being reasonable.
I don't think you are going to change their minds.

Think of a nice tune and every time they say it just sing the words 'you are stupid wankers, stupid wankers, la la la la la' in your head with a beatific smile on your face.

You might even start to look forward to them doing it after a while smile

Nanny0gg Sun 05-Jan-14 17:53:54

I would be very very tempted to tell them.

They obviously want one of each, which is all very well, but you don't get to choose.

I'm sure they'll love him as much as your DS, but you might not want to see the possible momentary disappointment when he's actually here.

So tell them.

(Besides, they have no business deciding whether or not you find out in the first place!)

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