about ex being half arsed with DS when he's due to move miles away very soon?

(36 Posts)
Cbeebijeebies Sun 05-Jan-14 07:42:08

Bit of background so it's not a drip feed. I fell pregnant by accident and chose to keep DS, telling ex at the time that it was up to him if he wanted to be involved and I'd understand if he chose to have nothing to do with DS. He saw him a handful of times in the first 2 years then asked to have him overnight once a fortnight. It's been like that for a year now and going alright, though it's absoloutely no contact inbetween but DS doesn't seem to mind (he's 3 so not bothered at the moment). Ex is due to move to the far side of Cornwall in a month or so as his mum is moving there and he wants to be with her.

This last month and a half he's cancelled 3 times due to 'illness', only ever giving a few hours notice (surely you know you're too ill to get out of bed more than 2 hours before? hmm )

It was DS's birthday on fri and we heard nothing off ex bt that was ok as he was due to come to DS's party the next day. But 2 hrs before he cancelled as he was ill again. DS was quite upset as he was due to go to his dad's after the party.

I'm angry because a) the few times i've been very ill (like the actual bed-bound type flu and a few stomach bugs) i've asked for help and he's said he's got other things on, but when he's ill he just opts out of being a parent and b) because he only gives a tiny bit of notice

Also, if DS/he gets sick when he has him in Cornwall then how will he handle it? confused

I've avoided pulling him up on it til now as he turns nasty and bring out the 'I dodn't want him anyway/I pay a bit for him and lots of blokes don't' card. But it's not about us, it's about DS!

Chippednailvarnish Sun 05-Jan-14 16:13:47

Get the CSA on his case and expect the worse from him. If he steps up, you have lost nothing, if he buggers off your DS is young enough to forget him.

He sounds like a shit TBH.

Cbeebijeebies Sun 05-Jan-14 16:23:14

I have started to wonder if this move is actually best for DS. I don't want this sort of thing to be happening when he's older and understands more. He was upset enough as it was and he's only 3.

I don't know.

Cbeebijeebies Sun 05-Jan-14 16:25:20

And yes, in discussions this year he's brought up the fact that i kept ds despite him and his mum both trying to get me to abort.

Chippednailvarnish Sun 05-Jan-14 16:31:02

He's a shit. God forbid he ever said about aborting in front of your DS...

Cbeebijeebies Sun 05-Jan-14 16:35:15

He didn't. And i don't think he would. But that's a pretty crap attitude to have about you son. He then said he then loves him though hmm just that it's basically good he does anything at all considering how DS came to be.

Cbeebijeebies Mon 06-Jan-14 13:06:01

Just recieved a text from him to say he's doing overtime this weekend as he needs the money after christmas so he'll have DS on the 18th. He hasn't seen him since christmas hmm Pfft

Cbeebijeebies Mon 06-Jan-14 13:10:40

(he lives at home rent free and earns about a grand a month, or so he says, hence the slight disbelief...)

KingRollo Mon 06-Jan-14 15:27:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cbeebijeebies Mon 06-Jan-14 17:27:22

It doesn't look good.

He can't say I made it difficult though I'm sure he will hmm I've held my tongue so many times for DS and left the door open.

KingRollo Mon 06-Jan-14 18:16:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cbeebijeebies Mon 06-Jan-14 19:09:23

I know. It's just sad isn't it? He does seem to tell old mutual friends that he has him more often etc which suggests he knows it looks bad at times.

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