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AIBU?

to get the rage at thin-ist comments?

287 replies

BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:26

Am I??

Seriously, just over the last few days, I've seen so many comments slating thin women and it's starting to piss me off. I would never dream of making sizeist comments, firstly because I don't think being a certain size (or not) makes you attractive.

But a brief list of the thin-ist comments I've come across this week.

"Most men don't go for size 8s"
"It would be like shagging a folding deckchair"
"some skinny little cow"
if he wants you to lose that much weight and be that slim, he must be gay"

etc..

If anyone tried to same the same about, say, size 18s they'd be slaughtered and rightly so. So why is it ok to pick on women who are slim? Not "anorexic" (unless they really are of course, which is a completely different issue), women who are just naturally slim and small. Why? WHHHYYY??

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Trills · 03/01/2014 23:27

It sounds as if you spend time in places where you have to listen to some unusually unpleasant people.

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SpeedData · 03/01/2014 23:30

I agree completely. I have one friend who referred to my legs as 'painfully thin', and has walked behind me sizing up my arse in jeans complaining about how small it is. I just built that way. I have never dieted (or exercised, really!) in my life. And I don't think people would feel free to be like that if I were overweight, would they?

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BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:31

I should have been clearer - these comments are all on Mumsnet. People I know in RL wouldn't dare say that to my face in case I stabbed them with a razor sharp elbow..

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pricklyPea · 03/01/2014 23:32

I like the thought of you hulking.

Yes I agree. Other people should not make comments about size. It's a topic that annoys me along with all this 'real woman' shite, but I'm probably sensitive to it because I'm quite small myself and struggle to maintain weight.

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SpeedData · 03/01/2014 23:34

Mind you I also have a bee in my bonnet about people being snotty about fat babies. Mine was massively fat, and ebf, and I got so sick of all the pro-breastfeeding stuff I read about how fat babies were actually unhealthy and how if your bf baby was skinnier than the charts suggested was good that was actually better because they were designed for obese ff babies. Argh.

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FloozeyLoozey · 03/01/2014 23:35

God I'd love to be told I look too skinny! I'd take it as a compliment. Skinny bashing comes from jealousy.

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trashcanjunkie · 03/01/2014 23:36

Those comments are awful. I don't believe people are 'naturally slim' however. Just as a lot of larger people can be in denial about their body size and what they eat, the same can be said for thinner people. speeddata just because you haven't dieted or exercised doesn't mean you can't be underweight (or should I say, 'a person' - having no idea of your size and shape iykwim)

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DuckCommander · 03/01/2014 23:37

The comment I hate is 'oh I could never be skinny like you, I like to enjoy my food' , the assumption being that I either don't eat or hate food I presume.

And 'it'd be miserable to be skinny, not being able to eat anything' I really do eat people!

I should add that at a toned and fairly muscular size 8 I'm hardly wasting away, there are plenty of thinner, skinnier women out there so if these are the comments I get god knows what comments they get said to them.

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SpeedData · 03/01/2014 23:38

As it happens I'm not underweight, just at the bottom end of the 'healthy' range. But even if I was, why would those comments be ok?

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peasandlove · 03/01/2014 23:39

I had to smirk at that comment if a man liked a thin woman he is gay.. good old mumsnet ;-)

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procrastinatingagain · 03/01/2014 23:40

There are horrible, horrible comments made about people of all shapes, sizes, ages etc. People often make comments about fat people. Don't know why you think they don't? It is of course equally rude to make unpleasant comments about thin people. If it makes you feel any better, speaking as a fat bird, men in general definitely prefer slimmer women ime. I don't even get a look in.

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ashtrayheart · 03/01/2014 23:40

It's not the same as comments to fat people. But it must be annoying.

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Lamu · 03/01/2014 23:42

I don't believe people are 'naturally slim' however.

Hmm I'd like to know your rationale behind this statement.

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KareKare · 03/01/2014 23:43

I think it's usually jealousy that makes some people say nasty things about thin women.

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BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:45

Speed So true! I'm a size 8, and if I look at size 12/14/16 etc friends all I'm thinking is "I wish I had your boobs!" Can't believe they think it's ok to say it to your face! My ex's little brother once saw me in high heels and told me my legs were too skinny for heels. I told him his face was too stupid for speech. As for the baby comments urgh! People will just say any old random shit won't they!

Floozey I'd love to be told I look curvy. I'd love to be told I'm a real woman. All relative innit Wink

trashcan You DON'T believe people cn be naturally thin? Confused Why the feck not?? I am! I eat crisps, chocolate (lots of) big big portions (can eat way more than DH) and I'm still a size 8. Underweight according to my BMI. I'm halfway through a 100g Milkybar, I will eat all of it and not a pound will appear anywhere. NOT MY CHOICE.

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aturtlenamedmack · 03/01/2014 23:45

Yadnbu - and I say that as a fat woman.
Making negative comments about another woman's body is completely unacceptable.
It only reinforces the culture within which women's bodies are scrutinised at all times and only a minority are deemed to be attractive.

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pricklyPea · 03/01/2014 23:46

I breastfeed and dc is a chubby baby. It's just me who's stick thin. I hate comments and suggestions I just need to eat chocolate etc. I love food as well I just never get a chance to eat a meal anymore.

Imagine following behind someone commenting on their backside. Awful.

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akachan · 03/01/2014 23:46

Yabu if you think people aren't also horrible about fat women but you're quite right that it's shitty to degrade anyone's body.

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HoneyDragon · 03/01/2014 23:46

Can you link to these comments on Mumsnet as I can't find them.

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WorraLiberty · 03/01/2014 23:47

It's not the same as comments to fat people. But it must be annoying

It's exactly the same

Uninvited criticism of anyone's body can be extremely hurtful.

Doesn't matter whether they're fat, thin or somewhere in between.

If they don't ask then you don't mention it.

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Trills · 03/01/2014 23:49

People can "eat what they like" and be very slim. It just happens that "what they like" is rather less than what I like.

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annieorangutan · 03/01/2014 23:49

How on earth cant people be naturally slim Confused

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InTheRedCorner · 03/01/2014 23:49

I'm skin and bones and need a good meal apparently Hmm

I was a keen kick boxer and professional door supervisor before settling down and having a family and I also still bloody love good food. I have just never felt the need to eat after I feel full or if I'm not Hungry.

It's a running joke in our house (one male and 4 females) that I will only eat when I want to and leave a fork full on my plate because I'm full - one of the others will eat what I have left.

I've never excoriated more than walking the dog and working.

I've had some horrible throw away comments to my face.

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aturtlenamedmack · 03/01/2014 23:51

Interesting article:
jezebel.com/thin-women-ive-got-your-back-could-you-get-mine-1173888442

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BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:52

KareKare But for me, I feel like that jealousy is unfounded - all I hear is comments like those in my op, real women have curves, men don't like stick insects etc..

Duck Exactly! I love my food! And I will also love all their food, if they're going to sit their banging on about it and not eating it

procrastinating That is really true, and sad. I get the rage when I hear any sizeist comments tbf, I'm not so daft to think no-one makes sizeist comments. I meant, and I wasn't clear in my op so apologies - here on Mumsnet anyone makes a comment like "oh, size 12, well you could do with shifting a bit of weight/that's technically obese" gets shot down (and rightly so) but all the "he likes you slim? Must be gay!" "men don't like stick insects" etc seem to get passed over. It's frustrating.

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