to feel embarrassed about the town I live in due to colleague's comments

(204 Posts)
tuggle Thu 02-Jan-14 16:39:34

I have name changed.

A new colleague who I find quite boastful mentioned she lives in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. I mentioned I lived in a town in North West Kent. She screwed up her face and said;

"When I think of this town I picture caravans. Isn't there a lot of social issues?"

I found myself justifying why we chose to live there rather than telling her where to go. I am no good at comebacks or confrontation.

I knew she was being rude. She is a snob and I admit has a very comfortable lifestyle.

scantilymad Sun 12-Jan-14 14:35:02

Sorry. Conclusions not convulsions. Lovely. :D

scantilymad Sun 12-Jan-14 14:34:07

The lady may have a lovely lifestyle but that doesn't seem seem to be reflected in her manners! As long as you like where you live OP then just smile and ignore. We live in a lovely, albeit tiny house in a lovely close in a not so lovely part of a big seaside town. The area may be "rough" but we have great facilities all in walking distance. So long as my family are happy here then so am I.
Some of my happiest pre married days were in a tiny studio flat in SW London. The area had a bad reputation but I met loads of lovely, diverse and interesting people. I think lack of knowledge/life experiences makes people draw odd convulsions sometimes!

IDugUpADiamond Sun 12-Jan-14 13:17:19

OP, your colleague is quite obviously rude and insensitive but all of you posters dissing TW in return are no better.

NearTheWindmill Sun 05-Jan-14 19:26:29

Not quite Reculver but walking towards it having turned left wink. When I was a little lass the locals said the wail on the wind was from the babies the Romans or their poredecessors sacrificed in the foundations. Now they say it's the raucous lot who descend to the caravans from April until October.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 05-Jan-14 18:30:40

Reculver nearthewindmill pain in the ass to get to by public transport but we go there reguarly in the summer.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 05-Jan-14 18:29:39

Dover has a very good grammar school tuggle as does folkestone just the areas are a bit deprived/not very nice.

Yep these comments are on frequently on the local gazette page online about where i live! It does have a few characters that stand out as its a small town but that happens. Isle of sheppey gets the same said of it!

NearTheWindmill Sun 05-Jan-14 17:27:27

None of the shitholes are all that far from Canterbury. I come from a bit that's regarded as a property cold spot but if you have a few bob the properties and the coastline are fantastic. Think those two towers in the distance with the tide out revealing the golden sands.

Trouble is there's no work that far down and the commute is still a teeny bit too long.

My DS took his girlfriend to the place for the first time a couple of months ago and she thought it was the most lovely and prettiest place she'd ever visited.

And speaking of Folkestone there are parts and parts - Sandgate is still nice I think.

I was moved from a naice private school to a fantastic grammar because that's what happened 40 years ago in my part of Kent. The grammars were better than the indys for the most part and many many families had mixed schools for their children with those who didn't pass the 11+ going private and those who did going to the grammars. I suppose it still happens.

tuggle Sun 05-Jan-14 16:13:54

TSS I did not mean to offend. I was referring to the trouble Gravesend town centre has at night when young people leave the pubs/bars/clubs.

To be honest I like TW. It looks like a nice place to live.

Downstairs How rude of people to say your area is full of inbreds and travellers. Inbred is a vile way of describing people.

I had no idea Dover was not nice. I have never been but spoke to a woman who said she went to one of Kent's best schools in Dover.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 05-Jan-14 15:50:33

Oh and Folkestone and Dover are shit holes I agree, worst parts of Kent I've ever been to. (even Dartford) I still wouldn't judge someone for living there. they are cheap and that's what some people can afford. I live in the shit part of kent but four miles up the road is the naice seaside but I can't afford it. People judge. Also people automatically judge me when I say i grew up in Dagenham and ask me if I know Stacey Solomon. hmm

DownstairsMixUp Sun 05-Jan-14 15:43:53

ignore her OP. I'm in Kent to, where I live everyone says it's inbred and full of a "travellers" (not sure why that makes it a shit hole) I just stare at them and look away. I really don't care of their opinion. I agree she sounds the original disgusted of tunbridge wells, tell her to bore off.

bochead Sun 05-Jan-14 15:34:27

TW if famous for = dogging, druggies and hyacinth bucket types. The druggie problem has existed for decades.

It's an Ok town, no better nor worse than many other home counties areas.

Just nickname your colleague HB from now on, or ask her if she's still having an affair with Onslow next time you see her. She's a silly woman.

Solo Sat 04-Jan-14 23:50:20

ComposHat loving the description of the Volvo estate! (I always read your name as CompostHat grin)

I don't think Orpington has any more tarts in it tha........oh, hang on, yep! yes it does! exp and his brother had the same one and her mate...

ReluctantBeing Sat 04-Jan-14 23:40:20

I went to Newstead Woods. I had rubbish A level results though.

Yumsnet Sat 04-Jan-14 23:31:10

I've always liked TW, although I've never lived there.

My dad, until recently, has been a locum pharmacist there on and off for the past five years. And he says the drug problem in TW is getting really bad, even he was shocked by it (and this is having worked in an innercity London estate for many years beforehand).

Tell Mrs Snooty that!

ComposHat Sat 04-Jan-14 22:55:53

Tunbridge is famous for being a hotbed of dogging.

SO that's why they all drive Volvo estates for!

I wonder if the sales staff at the Volvo dealers in Tunbridge wells play up to this.

'As you can see the boot is extremely spacious and the adventurous dogger could easily attempt a three way in there. Rest assured the rear suspension is the best in its class. The windows give excellent visibility for those wishing to observe the action from the outside and all the upholstery is stain resistant.'

HesterShaw Sat 04-Jan-14 22:50:14

<wanders in>

I like Whitstable.

<wanders out>

MoreBeta Sat 04-Jan-14 22:47:15

I live in a town that is widely acknowledged to be one of the worst in the UK for social deprivation. TV news networks always come here to film background shots of our high street to show what social deprivation and shuttered shops look like. It suffers major flooding on a regular basis. Its train service is slower than it was 100 years ago. Its broadband service is so bad the Government has given the town a special grant to pay BT to upgrade it.

Frankly I quite like telling people how bad it is. There really is no shame. People who have a problem with it have a problem. I don't. It has its redeeming features.

SeaSickSal Sat 04-Jan-14 22:34:22

*There. Guess who didn't pass the exam for Newstead.

SeaSickSal Sat 04-Jan-14 22:33:59

RB, 97.85% of women in Orpington are tarts. The other 2.15% blue stocking ex-headmistresses of Newstead Wood.

Very good A'Level results you have their ma'am.

HorsePetal Sat 04-Jan-14 21:11:56

Oh shut up you lot, I live in Swindon.

grin

ReluctantBeing Sat 04-Jan-14 20:58:21

I am not a tart!

SeaSickSal Sat 04-Jan-14 20:39:15

Tunbridge is famous for being a hotbed of dogging.

Bromley is full of oiks and Orpington full of tarts.

And if Gravesend is good enough for Pocohontas it's good enough for me.

Although I did accidentally live in a Flat in St Paul's Cray for a year and would literally have killed myself to get out but fortunately only had to have sex with a nice man who let me move in with him in East London instead.

CalamitouslyWrong Sat 04-Jan-14 20:22:07

Doyouthinktheysawus: DH comes from the same stretch of the south coast that you live in. We were just down visiting the PILs. DH and BIL are always going on about it being incredibly crap, but I'm always slightly perplexed by how much they hate it there. Sure, it's not enormously fashionable, but it's not horrible.

I come from just outside Glasgow, so it is a lot nicer than the places on my 'places I'd really rather not live' list.

Pooka Sat 04-Jan-14 20:08:27

X post.

Pooka Sat 04-Jan-14 20:07:10

If anyone is referring to me as criticising RTW, really I'm not. I like the place very much as an occasional shopping destination. Don't live there but have friends who do.

Was simply trying (obv failing) to say that all towns have issues. Some places are perceived as oases of calm and gentility, but that's not to say they are perfect. You only have to watch Hot Fuzz to see that. wink

The place I live in is sometimes perceived as desirable or posh. But quite hot for burglary and car theft.

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