About friend and tickets?

(46 Posts)
ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 22:09:50

I managed (after hours of frantic page refreshing) to get some tickets to a local date of a world tour of an artist I'm mad about. The tickets sold out in a morning and I know of lots of acquaintances who tried and failed to get tickets.

One of my best friends is also a massive fan. We both tried and failed to get tickets for the previous tour and have often chatted about how we'd do anything to see this artist and had a very informal agreement that if one of us ever had the chance to see them, we'd go with eachother.

Neither of us knew about these particular tour dates, I found out the morning the tickets went on sale and didn't bother to contact friend first as she often can't take personal calls/messages while at work, plus I was totally consumed with monitoring the screens on laptop/IPad/iphone.

I thought I may as well get 4 tickets, one each for DH and I, and two more, thinking I would give friend 1st refusal on the extra tickets, but confident I could easily find many others who'd want them if for whatever reason she didn't.

So once I'd paid for tickets, I waited till I knew she would be on lunch break and messaged her the news. I told her that either one or two tickets were hers if she wanted them, the price and not to worry if for whatever reason she couldn't come, ie not to feel obliged. She was really excited and said it's likely she'd have a ticket for herself, but she'd need to check finances and whether DH wanted the 2nd ticket, and get back to me.

So that was 2 weeks ago and she's not mentioned it since. I put it down to Christmas busy, and possibly her worrying that if she gave me a definite yes she'd feel she'd have to give me the cash (out of her own inherent politeness rather than any demand from me) and she might be feeling skint in the run up to Xmas. We had plans to see them after Xmas so I thought maybe she was waiting till then to let me know, but it wasn't mentioned when we saw them and I didn't bring it up as I didn't want to make her feel awkward in company for whatever reason.

I never gave her a timeframe to confirm, partially because I didn't give it much thought, I guess I assumed she'd really want to go so it wouldn't take weeks of consideration, and also because it's money from my savings, I'm not particularly out of pocket as I could easily sell the tickets to someone else, I also have cancellation insurance so just not an issue (I didn't tell her any of that though, and as far as she's aware we're not especially flush atm)

I know I just need to ask her straight if she wants the tickets or not, and I plan to. Just in the meantime I guess I'm just a bit surprised and put out she's left me hanging like this. Also, our shared love of this artist has become quite a defining feature of of our friendship over the years and I always thought that if we had the chance to eventually see them, we'd spend the entire lead up getting excited and buzzing about it. As I said, there's loads of others I know would love to come, (and a few have already checked to see if my tickets are spoken for when they found out I had 4) but I know I'd have the most fun there with her. I imagine she knows I feel that way.

If I'm honest, I'm kind of stalling pressing her for an answer as if it's a no, I'll be disappointed. That said, I've been careful not to make her feel obliged and if she does say no I will be totally breezy really-disappointed-but-completely-understand. There's every chance they've decided they can't afford the tickets/time or whatever, which is completely fine, but I also think the onus is on her to let me know rather than me have to chase her. I also LOATHE feeling like I'm putting pressure on people.

Is she BU for not confirming either way yet, or am I for not being more direct?

NB I fully accept this is potentially a total non-issue and could be resolved with a simple text/call, but I'm a bit bored and this has genuinely been playing on my mind over the holidays. Curious to know how you'd all feel in this situation and how you'd handle it. If you managed to read all that and are still with me, you deserve a bloody ticket yourself.

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 29-Dec-13 22:13:05

It would have been quicker to text her 'do you want these tickets or shall I pop them on ebay?'

bellabom Sun 29-Dec-13 22:13:17

I would say the whole "I'd be disappointed but would understand" thing then say i hoped she can come and that if she's worried about the cost she could pay me next month as I appreciate it's a big cost around Christmas

shoom Sun 29-Dec-13 22:14:09

Well before answering, I think we need to know who you're going to see. smile

If you'll be seeing her soon , ask then and you'll know by her body language what's going on. Otherwise phone or text her saying what you've told us, she has first refusal but others are asking if the tickets are available, so you need to know.

ThePearShapedToad Sun 29-Dec-13 22:14:52

Sounds like in the run up to Christmas it's probably just slipped her mind. Just ask her, "hey remember those tickets? Whaddya reckon?"

with one thing and another, she may have forgotten over Christmas. just send her a quick text or something reminding her that the offers open but you could do with knowing fairly soon. no pressure, nothing naasty - just a friendly reminder. she's could've forgotten or not have gotten around to thinking about it, do there's no harm in asking smile I don't think anyone's BU really - I'm guessing it's probably just an oversight, it's such a busy time.

whoever you end up going with, enjoy the concert! smile

OodToSeeTheBackOf2013 Sun 29-Dec-13 22:16:28

She's not pregnant or expecting to be or similar which she doesn't want to say to you yet?

OodToSeeTheBackOf2013 Sun 29-Dec-13 22:16:39

She's not pregnant or expecting to be or similar which she doesn't want to say to you yet?

ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 22:24:46

Well Ood, that did cross my mind but when we saw them just after Xmas she's either not updiffed or really changed her views about drinking while pregnant!!

Maybe she has just forgotten. Its just SO EXCITING though! I can't believe it would slip her mind, she has no DCs so it's not like she's been wrapped up in santa/nativities/kids demands (I've no DCs myself, so I'm not belittling non-parents xmas busy-time, just that she, like me, doesn't currently have massive priorities which trump getting excited about seeing your favourite artist in the whole world ever)

I will bring it up breezily as you all suggest, either by text tomorrow or when we see them on nye, but I can't help musing on it in the meantime.
You're right Funky. I've never been one for the easy option though....

sooperdooper Sun 29-Dec-13 22:33:39

Good grief just ask her, it's just tickets for a gig, you're making way too much out of this!

HaroldTheGoat Sun 29-Dec-13 22:35:11

My diagnosis is that you have got yourself into a tiswaz and you need to call her first thing in the morning.

Pimpf Sun 29-Dec-13 22:38:13

Ffs, get a grip and just ask her.

ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 22:39:25

I know I know. I'm just going stir crazy, I've eaten too much cheese and things are blowing up in my tiny mind.

Solongsucker Sun 29-Dec-13 23:01:56

Good job you don't have children, the excitement would be too too much !

Wandawingsthe2nd Sun 29-Dec-13 23:04:35

If it is Beyonce at the o2 then I'll buy them!!!

DamnBamboo Sun 29-Dec-13 23:07:33

For goodness sake just say 'do you want those tickets then? I've had others ask about them and am keen to offload them sooner rather than later so I'm not out of pocket'

Not such a big deal really.

saulaboutme Sun 29-Dec-13 23:24:06

Seriously just ask her. Don't really understand the issue.
Save yourself all this grief.

ReluctantBeing Sun 29-Dec-13 23:28:10

I reckon she is avoiding it because she doesn't have the cash right now. Ask her, and say there is no rush to pay.

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 29-Dec-13 23:31:48

She probably forgot. Just ask her straight if she still wants them so you can sell them on

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sun 29-Dec-13 23:32:17

When is the gig? If it's a while off? She probably not realised you were desperate for an answer straightaway.

ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 23:40:17

Its not far off, Ghoul. That's why I'm a bit confused and whoever I ask next will need to know pretty soon as there's potentially only one salary between now and then (assuming everyone's January salary is pretty much already spent)

Wanda Maybe it is, maybe it isn't riddle me ree and all that <plays flute>

anonacfr Sun 29-Dec-13 23:40:30

So who is it?

It is odd that she hasn't mentioned the tickets since - possibly some personal things going on in her life that she hasn't told you about which makes the concert less important to her than it might otherwise have been?

I just can't understand why you didn't ask her about it last time you saw her though! A simple "Did you ask DH if he wanted the other ticket yet?" could hardly cause offense.

Who are you going to see?

ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 23:46:45

Old Bag, I was thinking I might bring it up in person but we were in company and I didn't manage to get a moment alone with her - I was conscious that there could be myriad reasons she might be stalling that she might not feel comfortable discussing in front of the others...

Thanks for acknowledging it is odd, I recognise it's no big deal in the scheme of things, and it's probably easily remedied, but still it is odd.

Wandawingsthe2nd Sun 29-Dec-13 23:56:50

Going by what you said about salary it's definitely Beyoncé. ;) REMEMBER ME IF YOU NEED TO! !

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now