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AIBU about makeup gift to 8yo DD?(94 Posts)
Just that really. Can't decide if I'm being precious or not. MIL bought DD (8) a MASSIVE makeup set. It's aimed at grown ups- black eye liners, red lipstick, dark nail varnishes. And it's MASSIVE (it's more makeup than I possess in total!). DD thrilled. However, I hate makeup on young girls. I'm not even that keen on them dressing up in it- especially as this stuff needs industrial strength makeup remover to shift it! I've said she cannot wear it out of the house, and needs to ask me before playing with it- otherwise I can imagine the trauma 10 mins before we're due to leave the house. School don't even allow clear varnish so she won't be wearing "vamp red" to school.
TBH I'm just peeved. We've had 3 rows about it already, her eyes are red from all the makeup remover and I just think it's an inappropriate present for an eight year old.
However, MIL and DD seem to think I'm unreasonable....
Imo 8 is way too young for a full set like that. I had the little glittery lipglosses at that age and very rarely wore them. However I did start wearing foundation and eyeliner around the age of 12 and looking back now that was too young. Especially walking to school I'd get a lot of unwanted attention shudders. Why don't you put it away or have a pamper evening one day where she can use it on you?
I'm going to go against the masses and say I think YABabitU, I don't see anything wrong with buying a make up kit for an 8 year old girl, as long as you state clearly it's for dressing up purposes, I don't see what the fuss is all about. My DD is 7 and got a gorgeous soap and glory make up set for Xmas, she doesn't slap it on like a harlet, she spends time dressing up like a princess or making her grandad look pretty, harmless fun in my opinion. Maybe you should relax a little and also I'd advise you invest in some baby wipes as I don't know any make up baby wipes don't remove including stage.
Could you ask her to trade it? Superdrug do a very cheap range with clear mascara, barely there lipgloss etc. That way she gets to play dress up and you know its far more suitable.
I refused to buy my 11 year old make-up, so I don't think you are being unreasonable. I might let her next year when she's at comp.
Im with you Strawberry!
My 7 year old got a big make up set for christmas! I dont see anything wrong with it!
She uses it to dress up and leaves mine alone now in the process
YANBU I think make up is fine once they are at secondary school if that's what they'd like. I'm lucky my little girl knows it hurts her skin and sticks to some nail varnish occasionally. My older daughter loves make up but didn't get any till she was 10 and then no cheap stuff as that brought her skin out in a rash.
Yanbu. I would just explain that I didn't agree with make up on children and replace it with a more appropriate gift.
I don't like makeup on little girls either.
I like the idea of using it as stage makeup if she uses it at all - however I would probably be a bit more cowardly and interpret her red eyes as not from over use of make up remover, but from an allergy. <cough>
It's for dressing up and play only. That's what I would say but then I did buy dd who is 7 a set that was reduced in superdrug it has three lip glosses a shiny make up bag two glittery nail polishes and a face powder with a big brush. Looks a bit like benefit make up but was £3. Dd lives it but she knows she won't be leaving the house in it except for maybe nail polish and lip gloss for the school disco.
'Sorry MIL. By the time we'd had three lots of remover on her face in one afternoon she looked like she'd rubbed chilli in her eyes. Definitely not the type of present that I think is going to work for a good few years yet!'
My friends dd was bought similar a few years ago and same issues.
I told her if she was prepared to let her Mum bin it, I'd take her to the Body Shop and treat her.
We kept all the brushes from the set and binned it.
She had a great time being fussed over at the make up counter and left with a clear mascara, some neutral eyeshadows and lip glosses, we seemed to have a lot for about £25, including a brush that helped her get an eyeliner effect with the eyeshadow.
The man in the store even wrote down some YouTube tutorials for her to watch and explained that drinking lots of water and good skin care was better than good make up.
It got her into good habits which she has kept up.
I'm in two minds. I dislike young girls in makeup and discourage it as much as possible, however I don't want to ban it outright for my 9 year old and have tried to adopt a casual approach to the subject so as to avoid forbidden fruit reaction.
A huge make up set would be her dream gift and in fact my dsis bought her one -although more aimed at children- and whilst it wouldn't have been my choice DD now thinks dsis is best aunt ever!
I tell myself there are worse things in life
Yabu it's make up, it washes off, can be played with for dress up etc. I've never had an issue in my dds having make up both dd1&2 (8&10) have loads of proper make up and dd3 22 months is sporting pink nails as we speak, no harm in it.
Are you serious Honeydragon - Why oh why makeup lessons for children ??? I would feel so belittled by a friend like you telling my child "let mum put it in the bin, I will take you to Bodyshop!" Can't the mum do that? Besides you are really saying my makeup choice will be better. But it's still makeup.
A bit if makeup is not a big deal if worn in the house.
If you really don't want her to have it. Explain why, and take it away. Don't store it "until she is old enough" it will be out of date.
Act like its not a biggie. It'll soon be forgotten. The outrageously grown up nature means no rows over wearing to school etc after all..
It won't turn her into a tart and using make up, like anything else except bad luck and hormones, does not give you acne!
My friend was happy with her playing with make up at home. She didn't want to give up the massive box from Argos she had been given. We were complicit in the idea before discussing it with her dd, so I fail to see how I was belittling her?
She loved the fuss, and continued to dress up and experiment at home. And, as I said I thought that chatting to her about caring for skin as she went through puberty rather than shovelling on cheap make up a great thing to say.
It was a matter of swapping her gift for something more appropriate to experiment with.
And tbf my friends dd was a little older and some of her friends had started wearing make up to school discos and the like.
I'd put it away/throw it if you want - but maybe get her some nice 'grown up' make-up, clear lipgloss and very pale eyeshadow from the Body Shop? Along with some nice exfoliating stuff, so that she knows the importance of cleansing her skin properly whenever she does wear it
Yet another thing that mumsnet seem horrified at but isn't any great shakes with good parenting to talk about why women wear makeup and what looks like a clown etc
Oh, and I don't wear makeup at age 40 because I don't need to or want to.
10 yo DD has a lot of make up and I hate it. She only wears it for dance festivals / on stage, and her dance teacher actually gave the parents a hair and make up tutorial for their last show to include foundation etc They need it because of the lights but up close they all look like something of BFGW.
OP YANBU, but if you make a big deal of it you may make it more attractive to her, I like the idea of treating it like face paints and making her into a cat etc
I don't get the big fuss, dd loves playing dress up, loves putting on shit sparkly stuff, she's very girly and very innocent, she doesn't have sensitive skin, it's just a bit of make believe, no need to read anything further into it. I really don't get the extreme reaction to it on this thread. What's the problem?
I hardly wear make-up, but DD has been fascinated with the stuff since she was 6 or 7. She has had lots of little sets, but mainly things aimed at young girls - pastel colours, nothing that requires real skill to apply or could be dangerous (eg mascara and eyeliner - you don't really want small children poking around at open eyes).
I wouldn't be too fussed at your DD having some kind of make-up to play with, but it sounds like it's an inappropriate set. Boots are selling off all their Christmas gift sets at half price at the moment, and they had lots of little girls' make-up kits - I'd be tempted to switch it for one of those and put the original one
in the bin 'somewhere safe for when she's older'.
Dd(10) went to a party and came home with a grown up set of boots make up, she's had fun with it, wears it out sometimes...we don't tend to make a big deal out of it, I don't get into the girly stuff but my dd is the polar opposite and I don't wish to project my view of the world onto her, she has her own view on what she likes....and while all her pals at school are desperately avoiding all things pink as totally uncool she still has pink-love and I respect her for that - no peer pressure in fact quite the opposite.
I've already contributed to this thread (I'm of the YABU side) but I'm rather confused about the concept of adult/ child make up sets. What's the difference? I understand eyeliner is bit the best of ideas in a young ones hands but other than that I just don't get it.
Even though dd plays with make up - applies her own, very badly and I'm fairly low key about it - I am a bit about make up for dance events. My dn gets a spray tan and has her make up done professionally for competitions otherwise she'd get marked down, that to me is unnecessary and I'd be very uncomfortable with encouraging that sort of culture.
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