To NOT want my DD to get a tattoo?

(247 Posts)
neiljames77 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:24:35

She's 18 tomorrow and I have so far told her I don't want her to have one.
After tomorrow though, I have no say at all. Some of her friends have them and they look hideous and have even ruined their career prospects by having them.

SundaySimmons Fri 27-Dec-13 16:40:26

Yes dingdong, as the poster said, 'especially women'.

StrainingWaistband Fri 27-Dec-13 16:40:44

YABU. It's her body and it's up to her what she does with it. FWIW my Mum was the same - I was only allowed my ears pierced before I got to 18. As soon as I had my birthday I had my nose and navel pierced and a tattoo done. I had my second tattoo at age 23 and am planning a third. I don't regret any of them (am now 35).

If she is absolutely set on getting a tattoo, then make sure she knows that she needs to find a decent artist with a good reputation and to be aware of hygiene requirements etc. Talk her through the location of the tattoo and how getting one in a very visible place can be limiting in terms of career.

I would strongly, strongly recommend that a tattoo is in a place which can be easily covered up if possible. Both of mine are on my back and it's where I'll have my third done. I still wear my nose piercing but only a tiny little stud which, once it has a bit of foundation over it, is unnoticeable. I work in an extremely conservative industry and I would not have been hired if I had visible tattoos or if my facial piercing was noticeable.

If you try and lay down the law, then she will only dig her heels in and present it to you as a fait accompli. It's better to accept it and you can at least be involved and try and steer her in the direction of someone reputable etc.

Rachelx92 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:42:08

I have 2 small tattoos which can be covered up if need be and both have meaning to me. One I regret having done by the person who done it because it didn't come out as expected and I should've done my research. I've seen some really good tattoos and equally some bad. She is 18 though so free to do as she pleases now. Just drum it in to her head that tattoos can't be rubbed off when you get bored of them

perplexedpirate Fri 27-Dec-13 16:42:20

I have four tattoos, got my first (tiny, easy to cover) at 18 and my most recent (big, obvious, utterly beautiful) last month (am 36).
I have never regretted any of them for a moment, neither have they effected my career.
She's an adult. She'll do what she wants, so you may as well be supportive.

Also, if my main worry when I'm old is that my tattoos have faded I shall consider myself very, very lucky.

Spaulding Fri 27-Dec-13 16:42:41

YANBU to not what her to have one. But that's it. You can't do anything about it.

I had my first tattoo at 18. My parents didn't want me to get one but they couldn't stop me. I was an adult. It was my money and my body. I'm now have tons of tattoos. It's who I am and they don't bat an eyelid now. Not every teenager who gets a tattoo regrets it forever.

The only thing I'd advise her on is researching the tattooist's previous work and getting a design that is original. My first two were just generic tattoos I'd seen and liked after searching Google. Now the ones I like best are the ones that are unique.

BelaLugosisShed Fri 27-Dec-13 16:43:14

I don't particularly like them either but my DD has several and she's a highly respectable Maths teacher, none of hers are visible when she is fully clothed however.
At lease it's not an eyebrow or lip ring, they make me feel sick just to look at them.

specialsubject Fri 27-Dec-13 16:43:41

her choice at 18. Tell her to shop around and make sure the tattooist is recommended and clean. If she isn't asked for age proof, she should walk straight out.

I do think they look either horrible or ridiculous, but I just assume that anyone I see with them went through a silly phase, as do we all. It is excellent advice that she needs to make sure it is easily covered because there are some jobs that she will not get with one.

she also needs to be aware that people do judge, especially the arse antlers and the tramp stamp style tats.

bit sheep-y though, so many people have them now, why not be different and NOT have one?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 27-Dec-13 16:44:35

I know several nurses with visible tattoos.

I like some tattoos, some are beautifully done. However I think most look like random scribblings and aren't well done at all.

Actually there's a really funny website called failblog which has really bad tattoos, show her that!

BrownSauceSandwich Fri 27-Dec-13 16:45:10

Unless she's planning on getting it on her face, neck or hands, it won't have the slightest bearing on her job choices.

Sorry, OP, but you don't need to like it, and it's not about you. It's her choice, and I don't fancy your chances of talking her out of it. If you can talk to her without winding yourself up about it, you might be able to influence her to think carefully about its subject, location, and the artist she goes to.

She's going into nursing? I assume then you will be financially supporting her to some degree at Uni. I used this as a bit of leverage with both of my girls grin(One is at Uni Nursing, the other is doing medicine).

I told them that while I don't like tattoos, I understand that it is their body HOWEVER.. if they had one somewhere visible..hands, face feet, I wouldn't be sending them food money!!!

DD1 wanted one on her wrist, and pouted a lot when I said no way. However she eventually had one on her hip where thankfully it isn't visible.

DD2 has an Elizabeth Browning sonnet (one verse!) on her ribs..again, not my idea of fun, but it will not impair her job chances!

willyoulistentome Fri 27-Dec-13 16:46:59

I have every sympathy with you op. I think tatoos are horrible, and i would be very upset if either of my son's decides to get one when they are older.
Not much you can do though other than persuade her to get it in a place where it won't show. Even in summer. If it's visible it will limit her career choices.

TalkinPeace Fri 27-Dec-13 16:47:44

in 20 years time blurred tattoos will mark out those who were too short sighted to realised how they were scarring themselves for life.

Agree about training in tattoo removal - some serious money to be made there in the next 15 years

SundaySimmons Fri 27-Dec-13 16:48:43

Words seem quite popular. I've seen lots of "be true to yourself" tattoos.

Why not use a black sharpie marker and write it on yourself every day until you get fed up of it? You can even write it on a different part of your body each time!

Caitlin17 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:48:48

I'm 54. I don't have a tattoo but I'd love to have something pretty on my ankle or back of my wrist. I'm scared it would hurt. I like tattoos. Times have changed, there's nothing odd in a girl having a tattoo. Unless it's a face tattoo will make no difference to employment prospects. I work in an upmarket legal office, there are several people with discreet tattoos including a female partner with ones on her ankle and wrist

Caitlin17 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:50:54

My son has one on his arm. It's a music staff with a treble clef and notes . It's love lovely and he did music at university.

lljkk Fri 27-Dec-13 16:51:43

Where does she want the tat, NeilJames? And what of?

usualsuspect Fri 27-Dec-13 16:52:51

Tattoos are so mainstream now.They don't limit Career choices.

neiljames77 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:54:38

Unfortunately, the quality shouldn't be an issue in holding her back. Our nearest tattooist is David Beckham's. I just worry because they become addictive with some people. It's ok for the like's of Cheryl Cole who can afford the treatment to get them removed when she wakes up one day and realises she looks like a sample book of various wallpapers.

MrsBennetsEldest Fri 27-Dec-13 16:56:45

Sundaysimmons, I am 46 and had two tattoos at 18 so it was not unheard of back then but it was unusual. They are never on show and people only know I have them if I tell them. However, I hate them now. I hate the hand tattoos ala Ms Cole, the arse antlers, the lists of offspring names ( in case one forgets I presume), the Arabic writing, Chinese characters etc. I really do not like how popular tattoos have become.
My two eldest sons have spent a long time researching tat artists and their styles and have put a lot of thought into their designs which really are very, very good. I would never force my opinions on them but I hope I have helped them make informed decisions.

pinkdelight Fri 27-Dec-13 16:57:32

The looks bad on old people argument doesn't wash with me. If anything I think some decent tattoo art looks better than a non-inked old body. Also you'd hope to have got over such petty corporeal issues by that age. Yanbu to not approve but it's not the big deal it used to be so don't waste any energy actively disapproving. It's part of being young and living in the moment. As long as it affords enough pleasure, it's not harming anyone and there's nothing to regret. Just try to get her to source a good artist and a design she'll really love.

neiljames77 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:59:43

lljkk, a flower on her ankle or wrist I think but she also likes the ones that go down the side of your hand.

Living near a good quality tattooist doesn't mean your dd won't get a bad quality one. Best to remind her quality varies and the best will have long long long waiting lists. Warn her so she doesn't get bitten by impulse and go to a shit one.

pinkdelight Fri 27-Dec-13 17:00:31

Good call mrsbenett. Fwiw I also had a few done in my youth. They're not great but I still love them and have no regrets. It's good to have lived. And my parents, who weren't remotely cool or right on, were v chilled about it and kept any disapproval to themselves. If they hadn't it would've just made our relationship worse, not stopped me at all.

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop Fri 27-Dec-13 17:00:47

YABU as it's really none of your business whether your adult dd has a tattoo or not! I doubt you'd appreciate another adult trying to decide for you whether to have a tattoo, piercing, dye your hair etc.

FWIW I have 3 tattoos. You'd only see them if I chose to show you them. I work in a professional role and they haven't affected my career either positively or negatively. The fact that I have them has no bearing on how well I do my job. I work for a large multinational and have headed up very high profile projects involving a lot of presenting to our European board. For one of the presentations one of my tattoos was on show. Our CEO passed comment that he liked it.

Times have changed, tattoos are very common now. The quality of the work and materials is so much improved that looking at an elderly person's tattoo now likely has no bearing on how your dd's will look with time. And then some areas of the body weather age better than others etc.

lookingforwardtonewyear Fri 27-Dec-13 17:05:27

The one dc uses has a 4 month waiting list for a slot longer for the weekends.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now