Funeral cars and traffic

(102 Posts)
Messupmum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:13:01

I was just driving back from the sales, came to a busy roundabout. The hearse had already piled out and there was a funeral car behind so I signaled to the driver to let him out to be behind the hearse.

Then I noticed the next car behind the funeral cars tried pulling out infront of me but I'd already started moving and was blocking traffic so carried on. This car was then behind me, driving closely and obviously annoyed I hadn't let her out. I then guessed she was part of the funeral. She then took another turning off the road, suddenly appeared at a side road and tried to pull out infront of me! I couldn't stop suddenly, so she beeped at me, looked like she was shouting and was really angry. I beeped back as she can't just pull out infront of traffic.

Sorry this is long-winded and boring, but do all cars heading to a funeral need to stay one behind the other? I felt bad as obviously they aren't having a very nice time of it, but her attitude just annoyed me. She ended up behind them anyway after I turned off. I won't put her appearance on here, but I locked my doors! Think she was out of order driving like that and beeping infront of the hearse and close family/friends in the funeral car.

Messupmum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:13:27

*pulled' not piled

Trills Fri 27-Dec-13 13:15:29

A funeral is no excuse for driving like an idiot.

If she'd needed to follow the cars to know where she was going I'd understand her being annoyed at you (still no excuse for tailgating), but if she took a side road to make a loop and try to cut in then she's clearly familiar with the route.

Finola1step Fri 27-Dec-13 13:16:06

Yes she was out of order but she may well be having a very hard day. Chalk it up and let it go.

Mignonette Fri 27-Dec-13 13:16:53

She was an arse and driving inconsiderately at best. Worse case scenario is drivers like her being responsible for other people having to bury loved ones killed in traffic accidents.

Sirzy Fri 27-Dec-13 13:17:34

Massive over reaction from her. Yes it's nice to try to let the whole funeral party out but realistically that isn't always possible.

On a side note I do wish funeral directors would give black flags to cars following the funeral in order for them to be easily identifiable as part of the funeral.

eurochick Fri 27-Dec-13 13:18:30

She was inconsiderate but it's usual to let the cars following the hearse stay together. So you broke that etiquette and probably enraged an already stressed grieving person who then did something silly.

ThatIsIt Fri 27-Dec-13 13:19:05

If they wanted to be part of the official procession they should have hired a funeral car. Anyone lets out the hearse and any following black official looking cars. How would you know who is and isn't part of the funeral after that.

Messupmum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:19:32

Yeah I've let it go, just wanted to know if I was in the wrong. Felt a bit guilty, but then just felt angry. But I suppose emotions are all over the place when going to a funeral. I just get really anxious and can't stop thinking about stuff like that when it happens! I'll let it go though.

Sirzy Fri 27-Dec-13 13:20:57

Thatis - have you seen the price of funeral cars? It isn't feasible for most people to afford more than one or 2.

ThatIsIt Fri 27-Dec-13 13:21:19

If she was that upset, she shouldn't have been driving. I think as a pp said, a black flag for normal looking cars would help.

innoparticularorder Fri 27-Dec-13 13:22:57

Happened to me on a roundabout too. All the cars following the hearse expected to be let them through while I had cars piling up behind me. I was given many dirty looks by the drivers when after letting about 3 additional cars through I carried on.
It's not on. I would never dream of doing that and the hearse drives so slow they can easily catch up. YANBU.

ThatIsIt Fri 27-Dec-13 13:23:10

Sirzy Well if you can't afford an official car, or can't organise a black flag, then you accept that people won't know you are part of the funeral and not drive so oddly.

Messupmum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:23:45

I did do a quick check to see of they were wearing black, but I was across the roundabout so had little choice. I don't like feeling intimidated, I didn't know they were part of it, and she didn't know I didn't have babies in the babyseats in my car! I feel bad I beeped back, as the other cars were infront of me. It was just instinctive to her not stopping coming out of the side road.

limitedperiodonly Fri 27-Dec-13 13:29:02

I was so upset by the deaths of my parents that someone inadvertently joining the procession wouldn't have added to my grief.

It might have even made me laugh. Life does go on, doesn't it?

WooWooOwl Fri 27-Dec-13 13:30:21

Woman sounds like a loon, but I would always take extra care to allow cars to stay together if they might be following a hearse. I'd rather chance someone being cheeky and following when they are nothing to do with the funeral than split up a cortège, even one that is made up of random cars or mourners.

BerryChristmas Fri 27-Dec-13 13:32:41

Just let it go, OP, just let it go.

mysteryfairy Fri 27-Dec-13 13:36:07

The woman didn't behave particularly well but actually who breaks up a funeral procession? I've very rarely seen anyone inconsiderate enough to do that in real life.

mrsjay Fri 27-Dec-13 13:38:12

I guess the woman was just mad at you but by the sounds of it you did nothing wrong she will be muttering about you all day, you tried your best to let the car out and tbh I know it was a funeral but if it isn't the funerals cars then how are folk meant to know on a busy road,

NewtRipley Fri 27-Dec-13 13:39:24

I expect she behaved in an emotional way on account of going to a funeral. Not your fault, if you didn't know she was part of the procession and didn't have a choice

Altinkum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:39:36

I don think she was being a arse, she was probably conserved she would miss the burial/cremation.

It happened to us last month, and we missed a close freinds cremation, she was probably not meaning to sound inconsiderate.

Altinkum Fri 27-Dec-13 13:41:09

Not everyone wears black clothes to a funeral now also.

pigsDOfly Fri 27-Dec-13 13:41:19

Can't understand why some people seem to think it's an excuse to behave badly because you might be feeling grief.

When my DF died many years ago I had to drive 50 miles to his funeral on my own and I was newly pregnant - exh was an arse and didn't feel he needed to come with me.

I most definitely shouldn't have been driving because my emotions were all over the place but the last thing I was feeling was aggressive, just sad and weepy.

The OP had no idea if the other driver was even in the funeral procession and whether she was or not has no bearing on her rudeness. If she thought she would get lost if she couldn't follow a few cars behind the hearse then she shouldn't be driving; hearses are huge black things going very slowly so are hard to miss up ahead.

She's probably just a nasty aggressive driver who thinks she owns the road where ever she's going; there's a lot of them about.

mrsjay Fri 27-Dec-13 13:41:59

I dont think the woman was being an arse either she just wanted to be with the procession and was pissed off when she came across the op again at the road end,

Sirzy Fri 27-Dec-13 13:42:22

but actually who breaks up a funeral procession?

At my Grandpas funeral we had one family car and and BT van pushed between the hearse and the family car. We couldn't believe what we were seeing!

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