Stop kissing my children

(42 Posts)
PissedOffInLancashire Fri 27-Dec-13 10:36:37

Another Christmas thread. I'm annoyed at my aunt, we are very close so I love her to bits but she can royally piss me off at times this is one of those times

We (dh, dd (3), and ds (8 weeks)). Went round to hers for Xmas, she had made a real effort as always and it was lovely but the first thing she said was I'll not kiss you as a have a cold sore. All very sensible.

The problem was she kept forgetting about the bloody cold sore and kept kissing my kids. I had to explain the cold sore virus killed an 8 week old baby this year and could she please be more careful.

She was more careful but still landed a few kisses on them and then said oops I forgot about the cold sore and just rubbed the spot as if that would make it better hmm

Well today dd has what looks like the start of a cold sore and I am livid. AIBU to think that a fully grown woman should have better control over herself and keep her bloody mouth to herself.

I have no idea how I am going to keep dd away from ds till here disappears. angry

PissedOffInLancashire Fri 27-Dec-13 14:04:34

zevite oh don't get me started on people poking their fingers into babies mouths.

I had to wrestle ds of a random stranger at a party who was trying to stick her fingers into his mouth. One of dh's relatives was holding him and they past him on to this distant relative who just loves babies. I swear people who love babies are the worse.

Got to tell my aunt soon that dd has a coldsore, not looking forward to it, aunt will be gutted she has past on the virus but I need to tell her.

Gruntfuttock Fri 27-Dec-13 14:11:54

It's just awful. Once your DD's contracted the virus it's a lifelong thing, not just a one off bout of pain and discomfort. So dangerous for young babies too. Given the seriousness of the consequences I would find it very hard to forgive tbh. As a poster said above, even her 5 year old knows that she can't kiss anyone because she has a cold sore, so your aunt should have been much more protective of the children she's so fond of.

PissedOffInLancashire Fri 27-Dec-13 14:15:36

I just don't know how the hell I'm going to stop dd giving this to ds. Really hoping the compeed patches work but shes only had them on for two hours and is on her second one already.

rumbleinthrjungle Fri 27-Dec-13 16:36:10

...who risks giving a three year old a cold sore? Not just the discomfort of one but the lifelong thing! Argh, I'd have gone mental, that's phenomenally selfish. Poor dd. YANBU at all.

NinjaBunny Fri 27-Dec-13 17:07:53

8Once your DD's contracted the virus it's a lifelong thing, not just a one off bout of pain and discomfort.8

Really?

So you have it for life?

That's really serious then! Why on earth did she do it? Does she have a nasty streak?

sad

PissedOffInLancashire Fri 27-Dec-13 17:25:01

Yes it's lifelong.

No she doesn't have a nasty streak just wasn't thinking.

Ilikesweetpeas Fri 27-Dec-13 17:31:16

Ahh, so sorry for your your DD, and hope she is ok. Your aunt was really thoughtless. I agree that you must tell her she has passed it on. My DH has cold sores from time to time and is so careful not to pass the virus onto us. Zovirax really helps him so maybe see if than be used with young children.

Willdoitinaminute Fri 27-Dec-13 18:15:29

Just to reassure you PissedOff you can only develop a coldsore if you have already had Primary HSV. The virus remains dormant in the trigeminal nerve ganglian and coldsores develop when your body is stressed or the immune system is busy fighting colds or other infection.
Most of us contract Primary HSV during childhood. Symptoms include high temp and multiple mouth ulcers. Not everyone suffers with coldsores. I had primary HSV as a child but I have never had a coldsore.
If your DD has a coldsore it will not be as a result of contact with your Aunt.

brokenhearted55a Fri 27-Dec-13 18:51:22

Willdoit that would stand to reason.

my mother has had cold sores all of her life including when I was a child.

ive never had one once and she frequently kissed me etc.

ineedanexcuse Fri 27-Dec-13 19:00:19

I have a cold sore but its only the second one I have ever had.

I am well over 40 and know no-one else with one. I think I got this one because I have had a run of poor health and lots of stress recently. I let it run its course and it seems to be clearing okay on its own.

I would not kiss anyone apart from DH,its too late for that though.No point in risking it.

Holdthepage Fri 27-Dec-13 20:27:08

I have suffered with cold sores all my life, when my DCs were young I made sure I never kissed them until the cold sores had gone. It really is inexcusable for an adult to do this.

Minnieisthechristmasmouse Fri 27-Dec-13 21:27:28

I get one extremely rarely usually just after being very stressed. Once it starts you cannot over look it. It's a very specific pain. Niggly. It makes you aware if the spot it's arriving at all the time, like straining a muscle somewhere obscure.

Your aunt is an adult. Stop excusing her behaviour. It's lazy not love. You cannot love to much. You can quite easily be lazy.

fallon8 Fri 27-Dec-13 21:31:44

Stop being so precious,,,have you thought about wrapping the kids in protected clothing?
Ponies love sugar lumps and polo mints

Earlspearl Fri 27-Dec-13 22:18:57

Zovirax can shorten the life spam of a cold sore I've heard

VeryExasperated Sat 28-Dec-13 00:53:50

YANBU. She should have been more careful, but it would be very cruel for children and her to part ways. She may have to be reined in firmly in future, though.

Booboostoo Sat 28-Dec-13 10:22:53

fallon8 that is a pretty irresponsible comment. Cold sores can be life threatening to young babies under a year old, and quite annoying for everyone else. Also they can spread to other parts of the body - I can't imagine it's easy to teach a 3yo not to touch her mouth for the duration!

I still think your aunt was grossly negligent OP. If she really could not remember not to kiss the kids she should have postponed the visit until after the cold sore, most last about a week anyway.

Booboostoo Sat 28-Dec-13 10:24:00

Sorry just to add. If it is a coldsore it might be worth asking your GP if there is anything that can be done for DD given her very young age. The first outbreak can be quite big, with multiple sores all over the lips. I wouldn't give Zovirax to such a young child without checking with a GP first.

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