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to not want to go to work due to excessive wind.

(39 Posts)
Bakedpies Fri 27-Dec-13 08:08:41

not the weather. mine!!!!

two days of sprouts, carbs and rich foods have left me stinking. im burping sulphur all over the place and passing wind like theres no tomorrow.

i work in a public facing job. ill have to hold it in and so ill explode

my stomach hurts and i just want to lie on the sofa till im deflated but you cant call in sick for wind.

what the hell do i do?

WilsonFrickett Fri 27-Dec-13 18:11:03

Steep three bay leaves in boiling water, add a squirt of lemon if you have it, drink. Never known to fail.

AlfieandAnnieRose Fri 27-Dec-13 18:08:31

Haha @ thecrumpetqueen that made me proper laugh out loud!

Bakedpies Fri 27-Dec-13 18:07:15

i survived the day but am feeling very pukey/ sulphur egg burps. stomach is very bloated , painful and i stink i must have passed more wind than my actual body can hold despite not eating and having been to the loo so i think its some bug.

jellybeans Fri 27-Dec-13 16:43:05

I have days when am on the floor in agony with wind/IBS/Coeliac problems and it is horrific. YANBU if it is that bad.

monkeynuts123 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:41:06

LMAO at star-jumps!

TheCrumpetQueen Fri 27-Dec-13 15:40:57

Mine have been awful even the cat left the room.

I blamed a couple on ds, who can't talk yet fblush

Beavie Fri 27-Dec-13 15:35:24

I actually turned my own stomach last night with my sprout facts. Normally I don't mind my own brand but I swear it still smells in the bedroom now. Dp went mental at me and I was crying with laughter.

Don't think you could call in sick with a case of stinky farts though.

There was me thinking this was about travelling in the bad weather

NigellaLaw5on Fri 27-Dec-13 15:15:21

Everybody else is in the same boat, just let it all out. They do say "better an empty house than a bad lodger" grin

lookatmybutt Fri 27-Dec-13 14:36:52

Gaviscon juice is best. That other stuff is all rubbish.

Dried prunes are good, but the fallout is spectacular. Maybe better to take those at home. You only need to eat 2-4.

Actually, gripe water is pretty good AND tastes nice.

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 14:18:32

Get some peppermint tea OP, or nettle and fennel, that will help. Ginger as well will help too. And do some 'twists' at your desk, twist one way and then the next when standing.

NewName123 Fri 27-Dec-13 13:07:03

I was farting all night last night, had to be the sprouts.
Strong coffee to bring on a poo and then no carbs especially bread which will just compound the problem.
I think once the culprit is inside you there is no getting away from it until it comes out the other end.

GoodNewsGrinch Fri 27-Dec-13 12:45:16

Oh thank god it wasn't just me!

I never eat sprouts, even at Christmas, but decided to have a couple this year. Put it this way, they didn't agree with me. I have never been so bloated or windy in my life! It was so uncomfortable.

It passed after 24 hours but was very unpleasant in the meantime. Storing these suggestions should I ever decide to brave sprouts again not likely.

RhondaJean Fri 27-Dec-13 12:24:58

Andrews liver salts. ASAP.

You can thank me later!

daisychain01 Fri 27-Dec-13 12:22:58

Maybe get some ginger tea if you can get to the supermarket? May not help with your immediate flatulant-fest but will settle the tum overnight.

I expect there are an awful lot of people in the same boat.

Maybe the government could announce a 1 day "fart amnesty" every year, then everyone could parp merrily without fear of retribution. Just dont strike a match, whatever you do.

limitedperiodonly Fri 27-Dec-13 12:19:12

Both. It had it all: people were sharing experiences and advice and they were really rooting for the OP and the difficult birth of her giant turd.

It was like that Christmas/New Year period where everyone's nice to each other and then on 2 January they go back to arguing in checkout queues.

Bakedpies Fri 27-Dec-13 12:16:31

i was in work at 8:45. so no time to exercise and i couldnt walk to work as its too far.
shops not open so ive just taken to stealth farting and hoping noone notices though my stomach is really painful.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Fri 27-Dec-13 12:12:41

The constipation or the thread?

limitedperiodonly Fri 27-Dec-13 12:08:27

Does anyone remember a gripping thread about someone's post-Christmas constipation?

It went on for a week or so.

snippyMcSnippy Fri 27-Dec-13 11:36:33

Hula hooping works to release the gas.

specialsubject Fri 27-Dec-13 11:17:22

call them and say 'I had no self-control over what I ate and as a result am feeling very ill'. See how that goes down?

failing that, brisk walk, some medication and lots of water.

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop Fri 27-Dec-13 11:00:27

As an IBS sufferer I find it odd that someone would want to call in sick for a bit of wind.

Essentially as horrid as it sounds, the only thing that truly helps me when I'm in the grip of an episode is to fart it all out.

scaevola Fri 27-Dec-13 09:27:55

Strong black coffee (and in the olden days, a fag) would get most people going.

Isn't activated charcoal meant to help?

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Fri 27-Dec-13 09:26:59

Raisah - don't be ridiculous.

Just go to work - blame the customers or walk off to a quiet corner to fart. So not a big deal.

Thants Fri 27-Dec-13 09:26:09

Windeze and lots of movement. I'd just fart at work though wink

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