Family upset because I didn't buy my sister and her fiance xmas present

(27 Posts)
bengal38 Thu 26-Dec-13 14:49:07

I didn't buy my younger sister who is 25 and her Fiance of the same age a Christmas present.

When it was my 2 kids (13 and 9) birthday my younger sister brought them nothing not even a birthday card. Even for Christmas she brought them nothing. She brought presents for her Fiances brothers kids and she brought my nephew a birthday/xmas present (in one - birthday is tomorrow) plus a Xmas present for my niece as well. Plus she brought for my cousins kids as well.

So should I of brought them presents knowing that my kids have got nothing off them.

My mum/dad did buy the kids birthday/xmas presents though but am I being selfish to think that my younger sister who is 25 and brought for other kids in the family a present.

wouldbemedic Fri 27-Dec-13 11:56:41

I'm going to suggest that you don't turn this into World War 3. There's no point - it will be hassle all the way. Instead of inflaming the situation by telling your sister the consequences of her selfishness (I agree she's being rotten BTW) I would tell her why it hurts. If she has the maturity to listen instead of jumping on the defensive, you might realise it's been some kind of misunderstanding. Or give her a chance to realise she's been thoughtless and want to change. Nobody wants to hurt kids and I wouldn't think your sister is any different. The rest of your family should keep out of it, though. None of their business.

domoarigato Fri 27-Dec-13 09:13:57

My bil didn't get us anything. We bought him, his horrid partner and 2 kids prezzies but they couldn't even buy our dd a gesture gift for her 1st xmas. Pathetic. Its dds birthday soon and we won't be getting a bday gift for her 1st from them im sure, let alone the xmas gifts we've been promised in the new year!

domoarigato Fri 27-Dec-13 09:13:56

My bil didn't get us anything. We bought him, his horrid partner and 2 kids prezzies but they couldn't even buy our dd a gesture gift for her 1st xmas. Pathetic. Its dds birthday soon and we won't be getting a bday gift for her 1st from them im sure, let alone the xmas gifts we've been promised in the new year!

domoarigato Fri 27-Dec-13 09:13:43

My bil didn't get us anything. We bought him, his horrid partner and 2 kids prezzies but they couldn't even buy our dd a gesture gift for her 1st xmas. Pathetic. Its dds birthday soon and we won't be getting a bday gift for her 1st from them im sure, let alone the xmas gifts we've been promised in the new year!

PicaK Fri 27-Dec-13 08:39:41

Surely you wanted to give your parents sonething?!! I know what they said but i'm sure they would have accepted a token thoughtful present. I can't believe you let your kids receive a load of presents and not have any gift for them to give to their grandparents.

Did your dsis buy you a birthday present? If so then you're equal.

Gift giving shouldn't be about money but i think it's normal for one family unit to spend the same on another family unit. So we buy presents for my dns andnot their parents and we buy presents for dsil who doesn't have kids. It's not just about kids at xmas btw it's about loved ones.

I think you come across as mean and point scoring tbh. If that's not you then you need to rethink your outlook on this. It seems like you took a lot from the people you spent xmas day with and gave almost nothing in return.

andadietcoke Fri 27-Dec-13 06:11:09

Are you sure it's not because you didn't give your parents anything? They bought for your DCs, and even though they said not to get them anything, maybe that was being polite and they did expect at least a token gesture?

ViviPru Fri 27-Dec-13 06:02:39

It is all in your head.

MistressDeeCee Fri 27-Dec-13 03:35:21

Its up to you whether you buy presents or not. Up to you who you buy them for, too. Nothing to do with anybody else, theyve got too much time on their hands to scrutinise what others are doing/buying and need to get a life

frogspoon Thu 26-Dec-13 23:38:17

So your sister didn't buy you, your DH or your DCs presents.

And you didn't buy your sister or her fiancé presents.

Why are your family only upset at you and not her? You both didn't give presents.

softlysoftly Thu 26-Dec-13 23:15:54

So it's all in your head then?

You were rude about both your parents (you didn't have to be stroppy saying you took present back) and your dsis (they aren't babies wtf?). But in response they have said nothing. Ok.

NurseRoscoe Thu 26-Dec-13 20:39:33

Buy presents for whoever you want to buy presents for! People should never ever ever be upset about not receiving a present, they are not compulsory!!

iWantChampagneOnColaBudget Thu 26-Dec-13 18:36:55

this same thing happens to our dc every single eid.

we give the kiddies a little present, grown ups get a chocolate box, my kids get £2 each from one aunty and £3 each from my sis and nothing else from pil or dh other sis, even though they give crisp £20s in front of us to the rest of nieces and nephews, its not the sum of money, its the blatant rubbing in your face, very messy to explain, but god help me if i'm stupid enough to forget this again we are worth more than this

HermioneWeasley Thu 26-Dec-13 15:47:42

So your older sister just asked and now you feel your parents are being "off" with you, and you are interpreting the reason why as your family being annoyed that you didn't buy your younger sister and her fiancé a gift?

Seems a bit of a leap to me.

bengal38 Thu 26-Dec-13 15:37:21

My older sister asked me if I brought them anything and if I gave my mum/dad their present. So I told her I took back the present that I got for my mum/dad as 1- they both said they didn't want me to get them anything and 2- they never brought us a present either.

Regarding sister and her Fiance I told her they were not babies anymore as Christmas is more for kids these days and we never got anything from them either.

After that my mum and dad have been very off with me so have just left it as it is. If my younger sister texts me to ask me why I will tell her exactly what I told my older sister.

HermioneWeasley Thu 26-Dec-13 15:12:42

How do you know they're upset? Who has told you and what was said? What did you say?

glasgowsteven Thu 26-Dec-13 15:11:21

Sorry mum but as they never bought my children anything, for their birthday or Christmas i assumed they did not buy into the exchanging of gifts

pigletmania Thu 26-Dec-13 15:07:04

No don't, then they will see how it's like.

Snowhoho Thu 26-Dec-13 15:05:31

You haven't said why they are upset - I take it you pointed out that Sis didn't buy your kids presents either - did that upset them to?

Ignore the hysterics, they'll get over it.
I know my own mother went on and on about me buying my dear sis a wedding gift, I was feeling pissy and asked why, she answered that it's her wedding (in a whiny voice) I said I never got even a congrats card for mine, and she's never sent any of the kids or me and Dh so much as a birthday or Christmas anything! She had no idea. I got her a pressy and nice card anyway as I wanted to, not because they think I should. If you want to buy, do it, if not just ignore them harping on about it.

softlysoftly Thu 26-Dec-13 15:05:20

So who's said she's upset? What's her justification?

pigletmania Thu 26-Dec-13 15:05:03

Absolutely not! You have nothing to worry about. Family can be upset, let em. Tell them that you get nothing from your sister!

bengal38 Thu 26-Dec-13 15:03:40

It's her Fiances birthday on Saturday as well - normally I would buy him something but I am not this year. It's my sisters birthday and my birthday in 2 weeks time - I do usually get her something but don't think I will this year.

doasyouwouldbedoneby Thu 26-Dec-13 15:03:09

In fact l would be asking them why they felt so entitled to a present. Why your DC's were getting treated differently to other DNs. fshock

doasyouwouldbedoneby Thu 26-Dec-13 15:01:17

Absolutely not.
I cannot see why your family should feel upset--she didn't but for your DC's why the hell should you fork out for her and her DF.

bengal38 Thu 26-Dec-13 15:00:57

No we didn't get no presents from them at all.
My mum/dad didn't get me and my husband presents either only for the kids - they also told us not to buy them presents either so we didn't.

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