Why does MIL do this?

(54 Posts)
cheesypastaplease Thu 26-Dec-13 10:55:46

I love MIL, she is very lovely and would do anything for us and dc but she seems to have a problem.

Yesterday she brought gifts over, she gave 5 year old dd pyjamas aged 7-8, and 2 year old ds pyjamas aged 4-5 years. She also brought dd a dressing up outfit aged 7-8 and ds a dressing gown for 3-4 years. Now my dc are about average height so these things won't fit them for a while - in fact pjs aged 2-3 drown ds as it is!

When questioned she replied they would grow into them! I know her hearts in the right place but it seems like a waste of money!

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 26-Dec-13 17:25:08

Why's it distasteful to ask?

If the answer is yes it would be a valid reason to get a little wound up by clothes that are to big.it would also mean that any close relatives should be aware of it as an issue.

RhondaJean Thu 26-Dec-13 17:09:14

I don't understand this being a problem. I used to buy several years ahead for my girls in the sales and vacuum bag them away because we didn't have much room when they were little. I used to love having the clothes laid away for them to wear and I preferred people buying at least one or two sizes up as they invariably had plenty if clothes that fit or were just slightly too big

Op are your children short of pjs that fit right now?

CantaSlaus Thu 26-Dec-13 16:49:51

I've just spent £75 on clothes for dd who is 9 months old. I've bought 12-18 and 18-24 sizes. She has loads of 9-12 and I'd rather I spent and other people spent their money on something that wil for eventually rather than something that is too small.

Cookie08 Thu 26-Dec-13 16:20:41

Your first line says it all, about her and about you. Both nice people. Could it be nana's showing first signs of difficulty. It happens. It's sad. Be kind. What does it matter if her gift isn't perfect? She still wants to give. Isn't this what Christmas is about? There is no commandment that " thy gift shall be appropriate and exactly what I think you should give my children" Happy New Year Cheesy Pasta Person.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Thu 26-Dec-13 16:03:55

My grandmother used to do this. She took me shoppingwhen i was 14 for new jeans. I was adult size 8 and she insisted on buying size16 for growing room!

cheesypastaplease Thu 26-Dec-13 15:22:52

purplebaubles that sounds familiar!

socks actually dd has in the past and will always have ongoing health issues so I found your comment quite distasteful actually.

PoppySeed2014 Thu 26-Dec-13 15:22:33

Yanbu. Those pj's were just that bit too big !
My sil gave dd a jumper that was 18-24 months. For her second birthday. I returned it but by then it was in the sale and worth all of £3. It's because sil is tiny (literally size 0) whereas my dd is absolutely average and generally fits age appropriate clothes. Was weird and annoying but never mind!

cheesypastaplease Thu 26-Dec-13 15:17:00

squishy there is no way MIL was being spiteful, she is one of the nicest people you could ever meet - she just has a strange logic!

chottie I'm not sure where I posted that I wasn't grateful for the gift or appreciative of MIL. We have a great relationship and she is included in everything we do.

WorrySighWorrySigh Thu 26-Dec-13 14:47:13

OP did post that exchanging wouldnt be possible.

My kids have never worn the "correct" size clothes; always been at least 2 / 3 years ahead, so if I'm giving clothes as a gift to anyone else I automatically go a couple of years up.

err dont you think you should be buying for the recipients' sizes rather than your own DCs'? I can understand that your hand might stray to the larger sizes but surely you then correct yourself?

Floggingmolly Thu 26-Dec-13 14:34:09

My kids have never worn the "correct" size clothes; always been at least 2 / 3 years ahead, so if I'm giving clothes as a gift to anyone else I automatically go a couple of years up.

Chottie Thu 26-Dec-13 14:33:09

In the big scheme of things, it's not really important. Be gracious, say thank you and exchange them for one's that fit.

Your MiL means well, so please cut her some slack....

mousmous Thu 26-Dec-13 14:27:45

wouldn't be an issue for me.
my dc are tall and the sizings are sooo different from shop to shop. so maybe she is unsure about sizing as well.
pj's are better a bit bigger anyway, esp in winter, imo.

purplebaubles Thu 26-Dec-13 14:20:18

MIL got DD a vtech computer thing...aged 4-5.

She's 12 months old.

I feel your pain!

and keeps asking how is DD getting on with it, is it her favourite toy

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 26-Dec-13 14:16:58

Are some of your children having huge failure to thrive issues?

ChoudeBruxelles Thu 26-Dec-13 14:00:49

Can't you just change them for the right size?

clary Thu 26-Dec-13 13:59:31

Why do people say they won't wear the clothes for 3 years? My DS2 isn't very big but at age 5 he wore 5-6yrs; by 6.5 he was in 7-8 IIRC.

That could be 9mo away for OP's DC. Or are young kids' clothes a lot bigger now?

WorrySighWorrySigh Thu 26-Dec-13 13:57:24

But why? It doesn't save money, it's just stupid.

It is Nana Logic - my own DM is a great believer in false economies

clary Thu 26-Dec-13 13:51:17

The alternative for DD is size 5-6... which she would already be in! She might have some as far as MIL knows?

Ditto for DS. Dress up stuff often comes small IME. Sounds OK to me.

CeQueLEnfer Thu 26-Dec-13 13:50:24

It's also hard for DCs to get the concept of something that's a gift they can't actually use for several years, to most children, that's not a gift, they haven't had a thing they can use/play with.

I also totally agree with this. What is the point of buying something for the future? Why not buy something for now? People who are tight tend to do this. But why? It doesn't save money, it's just stupid.

WorrySighWorrySigh Thu 26-Dec-13 13:46:48

No, they dont need to fit but surely since they have been given as a gift some effort should be made to ensure that they do fit.

CleverClod Thu 26-Dec-13 13:21:21

Pyjamas don't 'need' to fit.

They can be worn too big or too small.

It doesn't matter smile

AHardDaysWrite Thu 26-Dec-13 12:21:19

I'd prefer it. My mil buys the dcs gorgeous clothes, but she gets them ages in advance and never thinks ahead to what size the children will actually be wearing at Christmas - this year, dd got a beautiful dress from monsoon, size 3-6 months. Dd is 8 months! She's quite little so it just fits now but she'll be out of it in a month - and mil hasn't got the receipt and the dress will be in the sale now so no point trying to return it. She has lovely taste, I just wish she'd buy bigger sizes (and yes, I have told her - I specifically said this year to buy at least 9-12m, but never mind).

Pigsmummy Thu 26-Dec-13 12:13:19

I have same situation but with baby clothes. We have been given a load of lovely winter clothes that will fit in the summer. I can't change them as they are not from shops that we have in the UK. My mil even asked what size then bought the bigger sizes and told extended family to do the same.

DontmindifIdo Thu 26-Dec-13 12:09:52

Well, again, there's something to be said for getting a bit bigger, say something DCs will fit into within the next 6 months, but clothes they realsitically won't wear for 3 years? That's a gift for in 3 years time, not this year. A Christmas gift surely should be somehting that can be used before next Christmas?

And yes, she might be saving the OP money in the long run, but that doesn't save her money now if she's still got to get PJs for them, and then find somewhere to put these ones.

(I hate clutter and have limited storage, so someone else filling up my house is very irritating)

raisah Thu 26-Dec-13 12:02:00

Mine do this all the time and it means I have a continuous cycle of clothes to use through the year. It is not a waste of money, she is saving you money in the long run.

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