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AIBU?

Tell me if IABU? Puppy v Baby

142 replies

PMDD · 26/12/2013 10:38

I genuinely don't know if IABU. I have a 13 week old Labrador puppy. My db has a 5 week old son, my nephew. I totally believe my new dn is far more important than my puppy. A dog is a dog, a human is a human. However, a dog is still a living creature and I wouldn't want to hurt or damage a dog.

Yesterday (Christmas Day), db came round at 4. As I answered the door he instantly said you need to lock the dog and cats away as dn is here. Dn has never been round my house before so I have never faced this.

I have always locked the cats out for my db as my dsil is very anti cats. She sees them as vermin. They can stay outside as I lock the cat flap.

I locked the puppy in her cage. They only stayed an hour and a half so that was no problem.

Today (Boxing Day), the whole family are coming round for the day. Father, Mother, brother, sister, lots of nieces and nephews and my 3 children are here - there will be 15 of us.

I can't lock my puppy in her cage all day, I don't think it is fair. However, with so many people the doors will be opening and closing constantly so it will be impractical to lock the puppy in 1 room. Also, my house is quite open plan so there isn't an obvious room to lock her in.

I know my db expects my puppy to be locked in her cage. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

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PMDD · 26/12/2013 10:40

I have decided to take my puppy for a long walk as soon as db gets here. Then hopefully the puppy will sleep in her cage for a good 2 hours afterwards. However, after then it will be difficult.

OP posts:

secretsofsanta · 26/12/2013 10:41

Its you house and your puppy. Do want you want. I think you shouldnt have locked the cats out, your sil sounds nuts.

BohemianGirl · 26/12/2013 10:41

Personally I'd put the baby in a cage.

secretsofsanta · 26/12/2013 10:41

If your db doesnt like it, they can leave?

msrisotto · 26/12/2013 10:41

Why do they want her in the cage? What are they worried about? Shouldn't they just look after their child if interaction between the two is the problem?

I wouldn't lock my cat outside for anyone btw unless they're allergic. I don't have a dog but wouldn't lock it away either if I did.

fifi669 · 26/12/2013 10:41

I'm scared of dogs myself.... But a little puppy can't do much harm? The baby won't be left on the floor will it?

LucyLasticKnickers · 26/12/2013 10:41

how long can puppies be locked in cages for?

Lweji · 26/12/2013 10:42

could you put it on a leash?

secretsofsanta · 26/12/2013 10:42

No, dont put the baby in the cage put db and sil in there

LucyLasticKnickers · 26/12/2013 10:43

we had dogs locked out while we ate.
but a baby will be fine. i dobut the puppy would notice a baby tbh.

nitrox · 26/12/2013 10:43

It's your house and important to socialise the puppy with guests.. What is your brothers reason for secluding the puppy? Dirt, hairs, the baby being bitten?

Can you keep the pup out of the room the baby is in, but allowed in the rest if the house? Easier said than done I know.

If he isn't happy with any compromise then they won't be able to come over really, they can't expect a puppy to be locked away all day..

secretsofsanta · 26/12/2013 10:43

Agree with msrisotto

Lweji · 26/12/2013 10:44

and put 5 week old in a safe place? He won't be roaming the house.

ThePost · 26/12/2013 10:44

Well, where on earth is your DN going to be that he would be at any risk from a lab puppy?! Was your DB planning on leaving him lying on the floor? If your DN is awake, I'm guessing someone will be carrying him. If he's asleep, he'll be in a car seat (put it on a sturdy table or chair), pram (park it in a corner where the puppy can't jump up at it) or a travel cot (pop it in a room with a door you can shut against the pup.)

NynaevesSister · 26/12/2013 10:44

Pop the puppy in a room, shut the door, and then just get whoever to chase her back in when she gets out.

A bit of occasional chaos is part of the fun of a family day and you can have a laugh about it.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 26/12/2013 10:49

YABU to allow your dsil to dictate that you lock your cats out of their home.

YWBU to lock your puppy in a cage for any amount of time. Tell your db to get stuffed.

Beccadugs · 26/12/2013 10:52

We had a similar problem yesterday, although neice is 2.5, she is quite scared of our pup, lives the idea, not so keen on the tounge (quite rightly!!). we used a play pen to section off half the kitchen, pup on one side niece on the other. Worked well as dog was still with us and interacting, but niece was "safe" on the other side! After about a hour I looked round to see niece in the dogs crate with the dog, so I think the dislike of being licked is over!

Appreciate it's probably a bit late to set up something like this, but might be an idea for the future?

KongKickeroo · 26/12/2013 10:53

It is reasonable to ask for boisterous animals to be kept away from babies and young children for short periods of time, if the request is made in advance (so the host can make plans, or decline the visit if not possible).

It is NOT reasonable to turn up at someone's house and demand their pets are locked up all day. And it is not fair to do this to a puppy (keeping a 13 week old lab in a room alone all day is cruel - he is just a baby himself), nor is it fair to lock cats out in this weather all day.

Tell your DB you can keep the puppy out for an hour max, but not longer. It's your house and if he doesn't like it, presumably he has a house of his own to stay in?

PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 10:56

Presumably the puppy and the baby will get bigger and meet again?
Why not introduce them to each other and then go with your plan (long walk followed by hopefully long sleep in the crate for your pup).

Yes, your house, your rules. Do what you are happy doing, but I think your DB sounds rather PFB about his son. Bless!

Heartbrokenmum73 · 26/12/2013 10:57

Personally I'd be locking SIL in the back garden. Does she realise that your cats are (I'm assuming) much loved members of your family and should therefore not be chucked out because she turns up? If she was allergic fair enough, but vermin? Really?

And I agree with what others have said about the puppy too. It would be unnecessarily cruel to lock a puppy in a cage for that length of time. It deserves to have a big fuss made of it. Plus this is an excellent opportunity to introduce it to a different situation and other people.

Can't see how the baby would be in any danger unless, as others have said, it's left on the floor for the puppy to use as a chew toy

LtEveDallas · 26/12/2013 10:58

I think your plan is good, but puppy may become overstimulated with so many new faces, so may actually sleep more than you'd think.

You can't cage the puppy all day and BIL shouldn't expect you to, he could always decline your invite if he feels that strongly about it.

What about a baby gate on the living room door? That way puppy has free run everywhere else, but baby stays in the living room. You could ask BIL to bring his (surely he's got one) or nip out to somewhere like Argos this morning.

MajesticWhine · 26/12/2013 10:58

Puppy and baby will quickly learn to deal with each other if puppy is allowed to have a little sniff, and is rewarded for being gentle, not jumping etc. and I expect the new baby will be held by a family member all day or sleeping in a car seat or basket. So puppy should not need to be locked up all day. This anxious parenting is really no good for anyone.

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revivingsnowshower · 26/12/2013 11:04

I agree with the person who said it is important to socialise the puppy with people who may be in his life at this age. Even now my 10 yr old dog loves best the people she was introduced to as a young puppy, like my mum and next door neighbour. I think you need to be a bit assertive and say my house my rules, but maybe put the puppy in crate when people first arrive, when they are eating, if there is anything a lot easier to do without a puppy. If you don't put your foot down now you will face years of being expected to lock the dog up whenever the family come round.
As others have said a puppy won't hurt a small baby as it will be being held or can be put down somewhere puppy can't reach (maybe provide suitable place to put his babyseat or carrycot or whatever they bring)

HaveToWearHeels · 26/12/2013 11:08

You should not lock your puppy away all day, it is not good for the puppy to think that guests come round they get locked away. If you want you puppy socialised properly you need to start early. It is unreasonable for your DB to insist the puppy is locked away.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 26/12/2013 11:10

Not sure what your options are, space wise, but I wouldn't contemplate having a dog, esp a puppy in the same room as 5 wo baby.
The baby is utterly defenceless. Puppies bound around and have teeth and non retractable claws.
If it were my baby and you'd rather not shut the dog away I'd rather you just let me know so I could stay at home, no hard feelings.

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