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Am so fed up with my house guests i feel like crying!

(42 Posts)
Lisavarna Wed 25-Dec-13 21:49:49

I am so effing fed up. They have only been here since monday and are here till 30th December, my BIL (dh brother) SIL and their 18month old toddler and 3 year old ds. I am happy having them, i really don't mind guests normally, but i just feel like they don't give a shit about helping me out in any way.

Just for e.g., twice i have asked them to take their muddy wheeled buggy straight into our utility room from the back yard, and twice they have instead taken the buggy in through the tv room folding doors, which means then wheeling the dirty wheels through the tv room, kitchen, dining room and down the hallway into utility room. i even texted BIL this afternoon to let him know the back door was unlocked for them to take it straight through into utility room, and he texted back ok, but then just took the buggy straight on through as usual through tv room door. This means both yesterday and today i have had to mop and sweep, on top of all the other work involved in hosting xmas dinner for our family of 7 and guests, and all the clean up etc that goes with that.

I was upstairs at the time, otherwise i'd have cheerily asked them to use the other door as they were coming through.

Yesterday BIL kept putting on our heating on constant even though the house was warm, and then he would head off for a few hours and leave the house empty with the heat on full blast.

Yesterday morning after me and my dd had hoovered and mopped all downstairs in prep for xmas day, he went up to the building site where they are building their holiday home and then he came home, and walked through the house and up the stairs to his room, (carpets on stairs and upper floor) and tramped mud the whole way. I then (really reluctantly cos i HATE to feel like a nag and make things awkward ) had to point this out to him and ask him to please take off shoes at door. (we don't normally have a shoes off in house policy unless shoes are muck-caked)
He was apologetic.

He went out an hour later in the same boots, came back in, kept the boots on and i had to ask him again to remove, as i had already had to clean up after him from the other time.

I just feel so pissed off, tired, fed up and bloody annoyed that i have to ask more than once for him to do things that my 5 year old would know to do, that all my 5 dc would know to do, and then he doesn't even bloody do it.

I want to be a welcoming host, but i have my limits. Xmas is a busy enough song without having all this extra unnecessary work and awkwardness.

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 21:52:06

Hell, I don't blame you, they are being very inconsiderate. Is it that they just don't think?

HamletsSister Wed 25-Dec-13 21:52:36

Lock the doors when they go out and supervise their re-entry to the house?

Motherinlawsdung Wed 25-Dec-13 21:53:07

Disgusting behaviour. Where is your DH in all this? It's his brother, he should tell him to take the boots off, and he should be cleaning the carpets too.

IsItMeOr Wed 25-Dec-13 21:53:23

Poor you. I can't be doing with guests staying any longer than a couple of days. And to be honest, we haven't had anybody staying at ours for years now.

Where's your DH in all this? He should really be stepping up and getting his BIL to be less of a pain. Could they book into a hotel for the next few days?

SundaySimmons Wed 25-Dec-13 21:53:41

Don't clean up after them.

Point at the dirt and hand them the mop with a cheery, "I'll just put the kettle on whilst you clear that up. One sugar or two?"

That approach should bamboozle them into doing it.

Don't nag or plead. Just be direct at asking them to do it but throw in something nice!

IsItMeOr Wed 25-Dec-13 21:54:09

Motherinelawsdung snap on "where's your DH" grin

FannyFifer Wed 25-Dec-13 21:55:17

Just tell them to clean it, fuck that.

CaptainSweatPants Wed 25-Dec-13 21:57:31

I'm sorry but who on earth would think it's acceptable to push a pushchair through carpets?
They must be thick!
My dh as a student had thick friends who walked over freshly mown wet lawn & tramped it in our lounge
I pulled dh aside & told him to tell his friends it was not on

theywillgrowup Wed 25-Dec-13 21:59:57

thick,stupid and ignorant sums him up

id of snapped by now

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 25-Dec-13 22:00:53

I would be telling them to go as they clearly don't give a shit about your home.

ZillionChocolate Wed 25-Dec-13 22:00:55

"Ah BIL, I've only vacuumed this morning, put the Hoover round will you?". Give it a go. Better than seething for the next few days and then killing him.

maddening Wed 25-Dec-13 22:04:59

has dh asked his brother why he is doing this?

foreverondiet Wed 25-Dec-13 22:11:33

I would ask your DH to have a word with them and say that they are being completely inconsiderate and that unless they stop making your floors muddy all the time they'll have to leave as it isn't fair on you to be constantly cleaning up their mud.

Bloodyteenagers Wed 25-Dec-13 22:14:28

I would have told him to clear his own crap up from his boots and the wheels. At the moment it's not really affecting them, because you are doing all the work. Point him in the direction of the cleaning stuff and tell him to get on with it.

There's being a host and there is being a mug. Guests should treat your stuff with respect, and this includes when they make ridiculous messes they bloody well clean it. Guests don't like it, well they can leave.

formerbabe Wed 25-Dec-13 22:17:48

Sounds like absolute hell! You have my sympathy in abundance.

Tinkertaylor1 Wed 25-Dec-13 22:18:41

My dh family were like this as was dh when we first met. It's lazy and inconsiderate.

Tell your dh how much it's upsetting you, I had too. Now dh is like the shoe police. His df still tries to sneak in with his shoes on and gets sent out.

You defo need to say something because its your home and they need to respect that.

It's quite a while they are staying are they not helping with chores at all ?

Agree on locking door and telling them to get involved , they are family not paying guests or royalty .

Filhas spent two nights with us , getting waited on hand on foot. Thank FUCK he will be gone tomorrow

MerylStrop Wed 25-Dec-13 22:20:39

You have 5 dc but still prepared to contemplate house guests for a week?!
Yanbu.
I'd forget trying to be cheery and tell them to bloody sort it out.

Is there a background to this? Are they actually trying to piss you off?

They are inconsiderate bastards. Please vow to never have them to stay again and in the meantime entertain us with how you're going to sort it

fwink

FandangoLaLaLaLaLaLaLaaaa Wed 25-Dec-13 23:23:33

Lock the front door or all the doors. When they knock to be let in tell them to take off shoes/go round back as appropriate.

YANBU.

Ifcatshadthumbs Wed 25-Dec-13 23:30:54

My dsis has form for muddy shoes. The one time I mentioned could she take her shoes off as they were muddy she proceeded to take them off and to bang the mud off all over the hallway mat confused

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Wed 25-Dec-13 23:31:07

I wish I had a utility room

<misses point of thread entirely>

winkywinkola Wed 25-Dec-13 23:33:14

What filthy people.

I would have to say why the buggy cannot be wheeled through the house.

Also make it a shoes off house if they are tramping mud through it.

I'm not surprised you're cheesed off. They are beastly visitors.

Don't have visitors for longer than two nights again. If they insist, explain that the work is too much and that they must muck in.

HansieMom Wed 25-Dec-13 23:33:15

Eight days is way too long for them to be there. Can you boot them out tomorrow?

Gormless Wed 25-Dec-13 23:44:32

That is a very long visit and they are literally treating you like a servant. Would definitely have a word.

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