to think this is just plain rude

(66 Posts)
formerbabe Wed 25-Dec-13 21:02:40

My Christmas guests have just left. I spent hundreds of pounds on food and drink and hours cooking it! I host every single year so its not like we take it in turns. My in laws didn't bring a single thing....not a bottle of wine/soft drink/chocolates/flowers. Literally empty handed and not a single offer of help with cooking/cleaning up.....

F. U. M. I. N. G.

drivingmisslazy Wed 25-Dec-13 21:03:29

YANBU

thehouseoflego Wed 25-Dec-13 21:04:20

It's not plain rude it's fucking rude!!!!

Livid for you

NinjaBunny Wed 25-Dec-13 21:04:23

Quiet one next year then?

fwink

Twoandtwomakeschaos Wed 25-Dec-13 21:04:33

Why do you keep hosting it?

Bowlersarm Wed 25-Dec-13 21:04:55

YANBU

Miserly buggers.

YouTheCat Wed 25-Dec-13 21:05:17

Don't offer next year then. Little point fuming about it now, after it's happened.

Stop doing it.

Seriously, just stop. Around July/August slip into conversation that you are having a quiet xmas.

Pancakeflipper Wed 25-Dec-13 21:05:49

I will be you tomorrow.
But next year it will be different. I am going to grow some balls.

junkfoodaddict Wed 25-Dec-13 21:06:01

Next time do what we do and our friends do: Bring a bottle and/or plate of food.
If the next time some don't either don't host it or don't invite.

formerbabe Wed 25-Dec-13 21:06:19

I have the biggest house out of everyone I'm afraid. They did say they can't wait till next year as it was so nice!!! Oh lordy

issey6cats Wed 25-Dec-13 21:06:21

thats guests for you i had a last minute guest as i only found out yesterday that she would be on her own today so invited her, she turned up late, didnt like the sort of pate i had for starter, only had a tiny dinner when there was loads of food then turned her nose up at the 3 different deserts and her, my sons, and daughter in law all sat there and didnt help with the washing up, so seems to be par for the course but we had a good afternoon anyway so i didnt let it get to me,

Jaynebxl Wed 25-Dec-13 21:07:23

What does your DH say about it? Presumably you will have other plans next year.

usualsuspect Wed 25-Dec-13 21:07:44

Ask them to help.

Ask them to bring something.

This is why we are alone this Christmas.

Never again.

Next year don't do it. It is liberating.

Mind you I have new baby this year so good excuse. Have to just tell it straight next year which is going to cause ripples!

I really feel for you. I had 20 Marlboro lights and half a bottle if yin in the garden last time they came!

YouTheCat Wed 25-Dec-13 21:08:48

Issey, doesn't that just tell you why she was going to be spending it alone?

Former, it doesn't matter that you have the biggest house for hosting, if they are downright rude and unhelpful, then tell them they can make their own arrangements next year.

Grumblelion Wed 25-Dec-13 21:09:57

YANBU - if you do host next year, split up the meal so they have responsibility for something, be it desserts or alcohol and ask them straight out to bring it.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 25-Dec-13 21:10:17

Don't do it next year. Stop being a Christmas martyr!

And YANBU they are bloody rude.

formerbabe Wed 25-Dec-13 21:11:35

Oh and best bit...whilst I am dishing up, one of them stands next to me and asks if I can top up her drink...bottle was next to her! I said my hands were full.

Oh and as for my dh...he won't have a word said against his family! Perfectly happy to slate mine though!!

IceNoSlice Wed 25-Dec-13 21:11:48

YANBU, bloody rude.

However you need to pipe up and not take this doormat treatment next time. Tell them what they're bringing I'd you have to.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 25-Dec-13 21:13:26

So why do you tolerate it year after year?

TheBuskersDog Wed 25-Dec-13 21:17:50

Just because you have a big house doesn't mean you have to fill it with relations, you don't all have to go to anyone else's, you don't all have to spend the day together, in fact reading a few threads on here the people who just spend the day with their partner and children generally seem most happy and relaxed about their day.

formerbabe Wed 25-Dec-13 21:20:43

I put up with it mainly for my kids...they love having the family round!

YouTheCat Wed 25-Dec-13 21:24:04

I bet they'd love having a non-stressed mum who has time to relax with them and play games too though?

Why do all this on Christmas day and make yourself miserable and angry? Suggest a buffet at yours on Boxing Day next year and insist everyone brings some food.

Best of both worlds, without all the unnecessary fuss.

Pimpf Wed 25-Dec-13 21:25:59

Then stop hosting it. Just because your house is big enough doesn't mean you have to do it. Just because your kids like it doesn't mean you have to do it.

Stop being a martyr.

You have a couple of options, tell them now that you won't be hosting next year, or tell them that you're happy to host but give them a list of things that they will need to bring with them. Wen they arrive, give them specific jobs to do.

My mum used to hold a do each year and moan about it to me, I told her what I've said above, she's finally stopped doing it and running around after everyone and they're all still talking to her, no major problems

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