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AIBU?

Dh has never bought any presents for dd until this year.

25 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 24/12/2013 22:52

I've done all the shopping and paid for them all previously. Which is fine, that's not the issue. I've got the money and if I needed money from him he'd happily contribute if asked/told to.

However this year he told me he saw something in a shop for her. So first time in 13 years and he's bought her something. Fab.

I've found in the stocking now six presents, all wrapped with tags that say "to dd, love from dad".

To say I'm pissed off is an understatement. I've told him and he has looked rather abashed and has said I can amend the tags. He's obviously pleased with himself for buying her some stuff and wants the glory tomorrow but as I pointed out I have never written "from mum" on anything. Its always been from both of us.

Aghhhh. Grin

OP posts:
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TalkinPeace · 24/12/2013 22:56

your kids have always known ....
be pleased that he cares
my parents never did
he owes you a belter of a restaurant dinner in January though Xmas Smile

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Lweji · 24/12/2013 22:57

LTB. :)

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InPursuitOfOblivion · 24/12/2013 22:58

Can definitely see your point of view. I'd be pissed off too. Men!

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Lweji · 24/12/2013 22:59

I bet she knows who bought all the presents in the last 13 years, so it's only fair that he gets the credit this year.
Plus, if she doesn't like them, you better not get involved. Wink

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VivaLeBeaver · 24/12/2013 23:01

That's true, they might be shit. Grin

I'd already told dd that dh had actually been to the shop on his own and bought her something. I guess she does know that I do the present choosing/buying.

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VivaLeBeaver · 24/12/2013 23:02

And apart from her main present he hasn't a clue what I've got her so I hope we haven't doubled up.

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Nanny0gg · 24/12/2013 23:10

Don't get it.

Why don't people just talk about this stuff?

By all means come up with ideas and go and shop for them, but talk about them so there is no danger of doubling up.

Weird!

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VivaLeBeaver · 24/12/2013 23:18

Well I never expected him to go shopping. He never has before. He knew what the main present was but I didn't think he'd be interested in the list of stocking fillers.

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WaitingForPeterWimsey · 24/12/2013 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

attheendoftheday · 25/12/2013 01:56

Tags need changing. That would piss me off too.

Or you label every present you buy (for dc, in laws, everyone) as from you alone. For ever more.

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ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 25/12/2013 02:01

It never fails to amaze me the 'different' relationships people have - I just couldn't live like that. He's so selfish.

I hope it's something(s) she loves though.

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Rosencrantz · 25/12/2013 02:03

Chalk it down to him being thick and just not thinking.. No malice.

Change the tags though!

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Caitlin17 · 25/12/2013 02:43

Sorry, but what is the problem? There's another thread about this joint gift giving thing. I really don't understand the "we're a couple thing, must be from both"

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homeagain · 25/12/2013 05:14

Because it always has been from both when the OP bought them, and the one time her DH bought them they were just from him according to the tags. Which is very insensitive. But at least he recognised that he'd been a bit crap.

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Shnickyshnackers · 25/12/2013 05:18

Tags on stuff in a stocking? But they are from FC surely? :)

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SantasPelvicFloor · 25/12/2013 05:18

It's incredibly rude unless he wants you to make a point on Christmas morning that all previous Christmas presents have always been from you

This would piss me off enormously

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TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/12/2013 06:13

I would be annoyed too.
I know everyone is different, but personally I think that presents for DCs are meant to be from both parents (or FC) I can't get my head around separateness in this area. It's not just about being a couple, it's about being parents. With regard o the DCs we have to be a team.
It's lovely that he bought her something but thoughtless to write his name, given that's not the way you've been doing things all these years.
And why take the risk of doubling up?
Surely even separated parents liaise about a gift list.

Happy Christmas.

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MammaTJ · 25/12/2013 07:39

What did he get her? Has he doubled up at all? Did she like what he bought? Did she like what he bought more that what you bought?

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Andanotherthing123 · 25/12/2013 10:32

I can appreciate it's annoying but just wanted to say that I knew my Mum bought all our presents every year and my God, she was generous and they never went unappreciated. But very occasionally, my Dad would see something, wrap it and give it to me from just him. It didn't detract from the magic of my Mum's presents but I hold each memory of when he did find something very close to my heart, especially when I was a teenager as i found it hard to have a close relationship with him and it made me feel like he loved me. Hope it went ok OP and happy Christmas!

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wednesdaygirl · 25/12/2013 10:57

Dont get the separate money thing anyway but to buy gifts for your child separate is blowing my mind

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VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2013 11:20

Dh changed the tags. But I did tell dd that certain presents had been chosen by dh so I think she appreciated that.

He got her, a Countryfile calendar, a glow in the dark star chart, a personalised memory stick and a battery operated marble run. No doubling up. Smile

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WaitingForPeterWimsey · 25/12/2013 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Crinkle77 · 25/12/2013 14:04

Why has your DP never contributed to the cost of presents for your daughter?

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TalkinPeace · 25/12/2013 15:33

Viva
build on it : in future years, each of you get her half her pressies so that you can both get the enjoyment of surprise
AND
each of you go with her to buy pressies for each other from her
this is a real chance to make future Christmases and birthdays even better
roll with it

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FredFredGeorge · 25/12/2013 17:56

I don't get the need to be "joint presents" either, equally I don't get the particular point of them not being joint. But not everything you do in a family is joint, there are places I generally only take DD and things only we do together. There are also things that generally only DP does with DD and places they go together. She knows we're different people and like different things, giving gifts are going to be the same - it's not trying to buy DD's love or anything.

I guess simply being too lazy to write tags has its advantage in that no-one will care...

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