To ask if your DH/DP works a 70 80 90 hour week - what exactly does he do?(191 Posts)
I often read posts on MN where women mention their husbands/partners working very long hours and wonder what jobs they do that entail such long hours.
So I thought I'd ask.
I'm not sure blueberry's dh is all that different. My dh is looking at another 5 years of gut busting work before he takes a more relaxed line and I know he'll do it because he won't be fit enough to work the same hours the youngsters work - I'm not holding out for it but he's got other things in life he'd like to pursue.
DH and I both work long hours. We're scientists.
I think there are two different types of roles which require long hours: operational roles, which mean you have to eg there in person to get the job done and you can't just leave (DH has one of these); and professional desk based roles which have certain expectations on what you will deliver but might have some flexibility about whether all of that is in the office or some at home when the kids are in bed (I have one of these).
My contract contains a specific exemption from the working times directive to make it legal. DH's bonus structure is heavily skewed towards those who put in the hours.
Barrister. I used to work those kinds of hours too but when we had children we decided it was only reasonable for one of us to do it for their sake and I had a more limited career flogging Eurobonds and was coming to the end of it so I gave it up. I would say I have worked as hard as DH over the years because I have completely taken over all domestic responsibilities and management. I do work now and have for ten years but I do so locally as a manager in education and I have limited my climb further up the greasy pole because I work 40 hours at work and do a little at home only in extremis. I now earn less than one tenth of my DH's earnings but I still like it, still think it's worthwhile and honestly believe work gives one a purpose. If I reflect on what I have done over the years I do believe though that people in the public sector work as hard and under as much pressure as those in the City, etc, but the difference lies in the job security and the support for people when things go wrong, ie, it's about getting them back to work rather than out of work.
Dh is an electrician. We run our own business employing a few others. He does all paperwork most evenings and any call outs.
However he loves it and talks and probably dreams electrics 24/7
Blueberry, your post stands out. I think you need to brace yourself for the fact that in all likelihood, your DH will not stand down in a few years time. Those that get in to very senior positions do not do it completely for the money, it is more than that.
This thread has been great for me to read as amongst our friendship group I am the only one who's H works these kind of hours. Senior PM in a blue chip company, gets lonely sometimes, however he is an amazing father and all downtime is spent playing with his Son and it means we will be mortgage free soon which will then enable him to drop back in the company to get a bit more time off.
Dp works in media (mainly TV) some, weeks he can be at work almost constantly for days on end. Normal weeks are about 50 hours.
I have no idea what that involves so don't ask
Oh, and 3) The holidays!
I don't have a husband but I work those kinds of hours.
I'm a performing arts (and a couple of other subjects) teacher in a boarding school.
1) I love it
2) It provides my children with a decent lifestyle, free house and almost free private education.
My dp works in retail (low level/big chain) and is working 70 + hour weeks at the moment. Might die down post jan 2nd though.
Runs his own printing company, also only managed 4 days off in the last year. It's shit when the guys he employs earn more than him for 9-5. But I must look at the bigger picture, he ploughs every penny profit back in to grow the company and it will pay off in a few years, I'm told.
I work long hours too (I'm a woman). As a student nurse I'm required to average 40hours per week on the ward. On top of this I have assignments, an achievement log to complete and studying for exams. To pay the bills I also have a paid job. I regularly hit 80hrs per week. As I'm low paid though it means I'm lazy, stupid and apparently don't work very hard. Nice to know I can add greed to my list of crimes against humanity.
Oh I have dc too, so a house to run as well. I have 3 days off this week first run of days off in 3months. I know this is probably selfish but since I rarely get time to sleep or enjoy myself I'm trying to spend time with DC and get some me time while they're sleeping.
A consultant. Also has own business. I worked 70 hour weeks myself, pre-dcs, as a lecturer.
We both work long hours, DP is a consultant in a hospital, I am a pharmacist in the same hospital.
It's not greed related,
it's just selfish when people get critically ill and need their drugs/operations in the middle of the night on too of normal shift work there's on calls too and it's nothing for DP to work 12 days in a row, doing at least 12 hours a day.
The reality is, these long hours are the culture within the professions we have chosen. Even when we have finished for the day, there is always paperwork to be done and then training and study to increase our skills further.
We chose these jobs as we love helping others, today a patient told me I had "made their Christmas". Having a complete stranger tell you that is pretty much the best feeling in the world!
We have dc, it's a logistical challenge. We have an incredible childminder and take turns to pick up/drop off so we can each start early at work. We could just stick to our contracted hours but the NHS is so squeezed that if everyone did this, things just wouldn't get done.
There will never be equality when someone questions about DH/DP's working hours - what about females in the workplace ? dH and I both often very long hours as our jobs require it (one accountant , one Consultant). We both have excellent time management skills and have (hopefully !) raised our DT's successfully !
Cyber security manager. He often has to go abroad to work too and when there works in the evenings with clients etc so then the hours are even longer. He gets paid good money but not loads, and as others have said doesn't actually earn that much per hour. He works as a consultant too and some jobs take weird turns which means he ends up earning about £4 per hour. If he could work less and earn less it would be better, but the job is that amount of time or not at all. And as he actually could not do anything else we are stuck with it. Unfortunately it means i have had to sacrifice any idea of a job for myself in the near future.
Refrigeration engineer - installations, maintenance and repairs of commercial refrigeration, freezers and air conditioning.
When he's quieter during the winter he works about a 60 hour week, in the summer it's 80+ hours.
I'm the one that works the long hours around here- I'm a psychiatrist and my husband is a SAHD. Some weeks I only work 48 hours, sometimes I'm up to 60-70 hours depending on what's happening. You can't just get up and leave when someone's telling you they're suicidal! It can easily take a couple of hours to fully assess a patient and get a management plan sorted for them- often a lot more if you have to detain them, organise a transfer to a different hospital, etc. so if I start seeing a patient late afternoon I can end up there for ages. Sometimes I do a weekend on call which is Sat 9am-Mon 9am then work normal hours the rest of the week (inc all day Mon)- might barely get any phone calls all weekend, other times I am out all day on Sat and Sun seeing patients and am up during the night giving advice over the phone. It's nothing to do with being greedy- I don't get paid more if I stay late unless I do a locum shift (very rarely happens here). When I was more junior I did 7x 12 hour shifts in a row every 10 weeks. Did get a few days off after that though.
Dh is an offshore (and sometimes onshore if he's lucky) engineer who works up to 80 hours a week or more.
I used to before I had DC - Retail Management. Only got paid for 39hrs but if the work needed to be done then it had to be done, and the buck stopped with management. I stopped when I had DS1 after I realised I'd been averaging 60+ hour weeks whilst 8 months pregnant and everyone was treating it as a rational thing to do... (it was Christmas though - summer wasn't quite as bad) It was okay when it was just me (and DH) but I didn't want to do it with the DCs.
Husband is a lawyer (partner in one of the big NYC firms). Hours vary between 50-80 hours, depending on deals. I have been a SAHP for the last two years, doing some freelance editing when time and inclination permits.
My SAHM friends are mostly ex bankers and lawyers who also worked 80-hour weeks, but had no option to go part-time once they had kids.
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