Dsis charging for Christmas dinner.

(363 Posts)
MercuryRising Tue 24-Dec-13 02:11:17

Hi.
We are going to my dsis for Christmas dinner this year. This is the first year she has hosted.
In previous years my dmum or I have hosted and on these years have footed the bill except if somebody has offered to bring alcohol or puddings with them. I have just had a text from my dsis telling me that she has worked out the bill and it is £16 per head so I need to pay £64 for me, dp and 2dc (5 and 7). Now I do not consider myself to be tight but feel angered about the way this has been done because it really does feel that she is charging her own dniece and dnephew to eat. Aibu to feel rattled by this?

whiteblossom Tue 14-Jan-14 16:33:36

Oh yes op any update, Im shocked she charged her own dad for a dinner...at Christmas!!

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Tue 14-Jan-14 14:38:33

Well, not just the thread you missed WillBeat grin

OP didn't go to the dinner with her sis so didn't pay anything.

Their dad went and got charged the £16!!!

WillBeatJanuaryBlues Tue 14-Jan-14 10:41:04

nooo I missed this thread, what a cracker....

OP putting up and shutting up so as not to ruin the day is only enabling this sort of outrageous behaviour, you are not doing anyone any favours and I would have not put up with it and said something. I know its long gone and you wont care but I had to comment...

PedantMarina Tue 14-Jan-14 10:37:41

Now that the dust has settled and ]almost everybody's] deccies are down, does OP want to de-brief? How did it all go? Any fall-out? Etc.

NearTheWindmill Fri 27-Dec-13 07:54:34

Just working out what I spent on Xmas dinner:

Turkey £34, Stuffing £5, pigs £5, cranberry £2, sprouts £1.50, green beans, £3, parsnips £1 spuds £1.25, bread sauce £1.50 (home-made), sage £1, 1 onion 35p, sherrry for gravy £1.50, Christmas Pud £6, nice creams £5, luxury chocolate log £10. That comes to £77.10 - add crackers £10, jolly cloth and napkins another £7.50 ish £95.50 add two good bottles of wine and that takes it to £117.50 - oh and £1.50 for the brandy to flame the pudding and that's £119.00. As there were six of us that worked at just under £20.00 per head. Although I reckon we could easily have served another four.

But we got another dinner for six off the same turkey yesterday with roasties and salads and pickle and will be having turkey and ham pie today.

I thought her £16 was a lot but quite interesting to cost it like that and I wouldn't have said what I bought was over the top but she was still very wrong.

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 27-Dec-13 01:27:25

I would love to see the itemised bill. £16 p head including DC. Plus extra for drink? Did she buy a new dining room table for you all to sit at?

AlaskaNebraska Fri 27-Dec-13 01:12:01

In just lolling at the op earnestly putting d in front of every family member. You can just say "dad"

Mellowandfruitful Fri 27-Dec-13 01:01:14

Mintyy I remember that one! <thread nostalgia> I think we need a Christmas Classics section (or a Christmas section within Classics?) for that sort of thing. I'd enjoy browsing it this time of year.

Snowdown Fri 27-Dec-13 00:42:43

I thought the Ops mum had passed away and now the daughters take turns hosting Christmas for their Dad/sibling.

horsetowater Fri 27-Dec-13 00:28:29

Pedant that reminds me when db's new partner decided we should all do a 'secret santa' type lotto thing and pulled names out of a hat to see who buys what for whom. The idea was to 'save time' and make sure we all get something we 'really want'. Never worked. Give me a pile of useless tat any day over one agonizingly planned and thought out but slightly wrong expensive present.

Christmas is about ritual not practical. And it really should never be about money and cost. That's the part we don't want to know about or talk about.

Mintyy Fri 27-Dec-13 00:02:07

Heh heh Boffy grin. Dessert from Paris was the stand-out comment on this thread for me too.

Op I hope you had a lovely Christmas.

One of my favourite ever aibus was a Christmas thread posted by someone in your sil's position. She was the host and she was wanting to charge everyone, including her new inlaws, for Christmas lunch. It was a long-running thread which I look back on with much affection.

PedantMarina Thu 26-Dec-13 23:38:23

Yes! Mellowandfruitful have a certain element to it: the "family committee" element of things. This is something that has probably fallen by the wayside.

But, yes, I see that part of the issue must be that OP (presumably older, but definitely "further along on the road of life" (already having two DCs) and her&DSIS' mum having done one thing, but DSIS (new to hosting) deciding to unilaterally change the dynamic.

And (read the posts from yesterday/Christmas Eve) STILL NOT getting wht she's doing wrong.

OP Please save me from having to do mental arithmetic at near-midnight on Boxing Day - what was the re-jigged total for the remainder of the DSIS dinner guests?...

PedantMarina Thu 26-Dec-13 23:29:23

Well, the DF is on DLA.

But, yeah, I haven't heard specifically that the father had ever hosted the dinner - OP and her DM both have (but let's not assume that mum and dad are a unit - sometimes people aren't these days!).

So, my outrage has been evenly split between the OP and her mum getting charged, and DF as well because of the DLA factor. Unless I hear otherwise, I'm feeling that DM might get some sympathy points deducted for letting DSIS to get the way she seems to have - a previous OP post made me ponder this...

Snowhoho Thu 26-Dec-13 23:25:57

How did your Sisters dinner go then OP, do you know?

Mellowandfruitful Thu 26-Dec-13 23:16:16

As others have said (lougle was one) the cost itself isn't that unreasonable - certainly if you were getting in a really nice turkey - but announcing that you are going to charge, the day before, when you yourself have enjoyed free hospitality every other year, is outrageous.

If she wanted to get arrangements onto a different footing, she should have suggested that from next year you split the bill for the food items or similar. But it's just wrong to decide this off her own bat.

AlpacaPicnic Thu 26-Dec-13 23:09:51

I relayed this tale to my parents today over delayed Christmas dinner... They were gobsmacked although my dad looked as though he was considering it for a minute at the concept of charging guests!

Poetnojo Thu 26-Dec-13 23:01:22

When she gives you a gift does she ask you to reimburse her?!?
It would be just as cheeky.

ilovesooty Thu 26-Dec-13 23:00:18

Charging her father is just horrible.

MadAsFish Thu 26-Dec-13 22:59:56

Oh god no, any family is just awful; I just can't believe she went ahead and did it.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Thu 26-Dec-13 22:58:18

I discussed this with my family around dinner, my mum and her DP, agreed, if the cost was discussed before or items coming from certain guest, that would have acceptable, but to charge just before xmas like your pre booking at a restaurant takes the piss.

JugglingUnwiselyWithBaubles Thu 26-Dec-13 22:49:54

Put that way it does sound quite bad Fish doesn't it ? fgrin
Slightly worse even than charging your own sister?

MadAsFish Thu 26-Dec-13 22:47:03

Shit a brick, she charged her own father for dinner on Christmas day.

headinhands Thu 26-Dec-13 20:43:04

Actually you're on to something there. I did 3 hrs driving yesterday so that relatives could join us for dinner. One guest even told us beforehand what they did and didn't want, which we happily catered for. Such tailored service would surely come at a premium. I even gave them presents! Should I have charged for that too? There was me thinking it was families being families.

NonnoMum Thu 26-Dec-13 20:42:15

Pay her your fair share...

.. but in 2 pence pieces...

Happy New Year. God Bless Us - One and All xxx

Your sister is even more cold and grasping now thst we know she charged your dad alone!

Utterly shameless, cow!

how was the atmosphere yesterday afternoon?

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