To be so fairly furious with ds's school/teacher

(112 Posts)
DirtyDancingCleanLiving Wed 18-Dec-13 20:16:44

Ds1 is 5, in Year 1. Every Monday they take £1 'fruit money' in and then have a piece of fruit with milk in the afternoon. I put the £1 in ds's bookbag every Monday which he then takes out and hands in.
There are two kids in the class that won't eat fruit, so never have it. As far as I know, everyone else (20 + kids) do.

So tonight, I'm putting the dc to bed and ds asks in a really sad voice 'Mummy, can you give Mrs X a pound tomorrow?' I ask why and he says so that he can have fruit tomorrow and Friday. On further questioning, he says that he didn't have £1 on Monday so he hasn't been allowed any fruit. He did ask his teacher but she said he couldn't because he hadn't paid.

He then went on to tell me he's gone into the toilets every day this week at fruit time because 'I didn't want the other children to see me crying'.

So I've looked in his bookbag and found the missing £1 - it had gone right down into the bottom corner (took me a good 20 seconds to find it) so ds1 had thought it wasn't in there.

AIBU to be actually quite upset and angry at his teacher? Could a bit of common sense not have been employed? Ds1 is nearly 6 and started at the school the day after his 3rd Birthday. Without fail, EVERY single Monday, he has always had his fruit money.

Surely common sense would say it's some kind of mistake - why didn't the teacher just have a word with me? Ds always has his money in his bookbag...why didn't the teacher check for him when he couldn't find it?

It may seem really petty to some...but to a 5 year old this is such a big deal. He loves fruit time and the thought that my 5 year old has spent 3 days crying in the toilets at school because he's so disappointed he's been the only one missing out makes me furious.
Any insight from teachers who deal with the whole fruit money with young kids would be helpful too.

AIBU to want to have a serious word with the teacher?

ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic Thu 19-Dec-13 10:25:25

Teacher should have given him the fruit and lettered you for the pound .

mrsbabookaloo Thu 19-Dec-13 10:29:32

I think the "scar children for life" poster was joking, people.....

However, i am shocked that children so little have to pay for fruit and are singled out and don't get it if they haven't got the money, not only becauase this is unfair on families that can't pay, but also the logistics of making little ones repsonsible for the money. I thought the whole point of fruit at school was to even things out for children, so that even children who might not get given fruit at home can at least get it at school??

Thank god for our london borough which not only gives all KS1 kids free fruit, but also provides free school meals for all children up to Year 4.

SilverApples Thu 19-Dec-13 10:35:20

It was initially free, then the funding was pulled in many places and the LEAs had to decide on priorities and if they wanted to continue the scheme.

hardboiledpossum Thu 19-Dec-13 10:55:02

As a former ta I am shocked. I would never have excluded a child from having fruit or milk if they didn't have the money. Often the ones who don't pay are the ones who come from.chaotic families, I wouldn't make them suffer twice by missing out on a snack as well. I would always pay for those who couldn't. It is cruel to exclude a child from an activity.

lljkk Thu 19-Dec-13 11:50:05

Don't make it into a mountain, £1 into a big fat envelope so harder to miss, problem easily solved.

I imagine OP's DS got confused about what he was allowed or not (mine would at that age). No biggie. Mine would forget about it all week, too (kids only live in the now, hard to remember stuff for later).

I have a 5yo fruit refuser, doubt he will take to free hot dinners, too (argh).

Rowgtfc72 Thu 19-Dec-13 17:04:54

Were in NE Linc's and we pay three pounds each term upfront for fruit and treats.parents are fleeced for the money, nobody asks the children.

BoneyBackJefferson Thu 19-Dec-13 18:14:47

GideonKipper

The parents that I have dealt with this week have made it somewhat difficult to separate sarcasm from actual idiots. smile

thank whatever deity you like for wine and cake and brew

Hulababy Thu 19-Dec-13 18:53:18

If fruit has to be paid for maybe the class teacher is only given the exact amount of pieces.

This is what happens with milk which had to be paid for, at my school anyway. There are only spares if a child who has milk is off absent.

Of that is the case then maybe there just wasn't any spare to give the child.

maddy68 Thu 19-Dec-13 20:04:48

With free schools, academies etc the rules re free fruit are all different now some are free. Some aren't and councils or the schools themselves pay and others don't

Wellthen Thu 19-Dec-13 20:29:56

So, your son's teacher:
Didn't know that the £1 had got lost in his bag.
Assumed that when he said 'I don't have my pound' he meant it.
Had no idea he was upset so therefore didn't think to check a minute part of her day with you.

and you're furious with her? Yes the teacher probably should have just given it anyway and yes she might have thought it was odd that he didn't have it. Did you do every single part of your job perfectly today? There wasn't even a second of your week that you look back on and think 'hm, perhaps if I had done this it would have been easier, quicker, better'?

SilverApples Thu 19-Dec-13 20:59:33

You mean like put the money in a purse Wellthen, so that the child and the teacher could find it?
Like a sensible mummy would have done?

<bitter from years of scrabbling and fielding money from 32 children all trying to give it to you at once, because their mummies loose told them to.>

SilverApples Thu 19-Dec-13 21:00:34

That 'loose' rolled away and got lost within the sentence. See how easy it is?

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