Sorry for what is a very complicated story , I will say names but they have been changed just to make it a little more easy to follow.
when me and my partner met he had 2 children, chloe and adam, chloe was not his birth daughter however she does not know this as he had always bought her up. adam has aspergers.
there mum is a utter nightmare and tbh the relationships between her and my other half I will never understand and they have both been utter morons.
now chloe is 14 and adam 10, we have adam 10 for weeks at a time although the mum will ring and say im sending him for a week from brighton to London and then 3 weeks later may contact to say she is ready for him back. other half struggles with adam ( this has caused problems between us before ) as I feel neither of the parents are dealing with him in a appropriate way.
right chloe is ok a very demanding teenager but has very little stability she hasn't stayed once at our house, other half pays money for her buys her clothes etc and goes to see her, I like chloe.
now a few weeks ago it all hit the roof as chloe has been moving from friends to friends houses not wanting to be at mums etc ,, adam was sent here for 2 weeks which my partner was angry about and didn't seem to want him for 2 weeks.
I then pick up the house phone to chloe who was in bits saying she had no where to go now she hasn't always been a sweet child to me but she is a 14 yr old girl who is obviously confused. he then goes and picks her up and drops adam and chloe at their nans !!!!!! and ttrying to sort their mum to come collect them which was just causing massive arguments. normally I don't get involved as in the past it got me in trouble. but 2 nights ago I had enough and went to get the 2 of them from their nans bought them to mine and said they were spending xmas with us. other half continued to keep ringing their mum to get her to have them which tbh I wouldn't want them to go now she obviously doesn't care and so he said they can spend xmas as his mums so I flipped out and basically told him to go spend xmas at his bloody mothers but the children are staying here and going to have a good xmas with me , my eldest son and our 2 children !
AIBU, I love my children and I just don't understand it all I really don't !
AIBU?
AIBU to kick other half out over step daughter, very complicated.
lolalooloo · 18/12/2013 19:55
Those poor kids. Well done for taking a stand.
How is she now, she must be an utter mess with everything she's been through poor girl.
I hope you and the kids have a lovely peaceful xmas whatever the arsehole decides to do.
There's a chat and support thread in SN chat for parents of kids with SN, if you fancy a chat or need any advice with helping Adam please come over to us... The thread is titled the goose and carrot and you'd be very welcome 
I've been that 14 year old girl and I think your bloody marvellous 
Different circumstances, but I would have benefited greatly from an adult who could see past the hormones and acting out and treated me like the child I knew in my heart of hearts I was and let me be myself and looked after for a bit when there was no one else.
Don't think her and her brother will ever forget that you've stuck up for them - even if everything descends into chaos in the future you've given them a fantastic memory.
Well done you x
(your DP is an arse - he's a father first and foremost, his point scoring shouldn't involve using his kids as weapons. Dick)
many men find it difficult to come to terms with their kids disabilities
I think your dp needs to see each child as they are - not like an average kid on the street he thinks they should be.
His son needs stability and acceptance and then the rest will follow. Obviously good manners etc are a must - but often you need to talk differently to each of them to get the same results.
You are a great mum (the word step doesn't matter here) - what counts is that all your kids know they can count on you. That will help them to grow into happy adults. So big 
and 
and from me on to you their behalf.
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