To think people working on the checkout shouldn't comment on pregnancy tests?

(70 Posts)
Onelittlebugbear Wed 18-Dec-13 11:22:41

I'm probably overly sensitive since we've been trying for over a year and starting ivf in February (dh infertile). I haven't tested for a few months but had (false) christmas hope this month.

Checkout lady said 'oh are you hoping to give him a nice christmas surprise? Or would it be a bad surprise and not a good christmas gift?'

It made me actually want to cry. The test is negative btw. Obviously. Because I was stupid to think I was ever likely to be pregnant, it's just never going to happen.

whatsagoodusername Wed 18-Dec-13 15:22:07

When I was a teenager I used to work on the tills in a pharmacy. Whenever someone came through with a pregnancy test, I wanted to say "Good luck" - as whatever the outcome, this could be a major impact on someone's life and I hope they get the outcome they want. Never did, because I was afraid it would come out wrong and I would have been mortified if someone had commented on my shopping, but I wished them luck in my head.

I was also supposed to chat to customers, so that may have contributed to my wanting to say something, as I am rubbish at chatting to strangers. I am very glad that I never did.

Sorry for your bfn and that she upset you, Onelittlebugbear. thanks

differentnameforthis Wed 18-Dec-13 15:07:45

Gruntfuttock

I didn't say it was appropriate (I don't think it is, btw), I just pointed out that people say this stuff, often not realising that it IS inappropriate. People have different outlooks & different ideas of what IS appropriate, therefore now & then we are all going to come across someone who says the wrong thing/something inappropriate to us. I just don't think it is nice to call them an idiot for it.

formerbabe Wed 18-Dec-13 14:48:54

Nosy cow!

It's the only time I've been thankful for those really annoying self service tills.

Mrswellyboot Wed 18-Dec-13 13:45:58

YaNbu at all. But please don't give up hope. Enjoy your Christmas and your husband. Same boat for me last year flowers

Some people have no brains

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 18-Dec-13 13:44:29

Surely supermarkets could add an instruction about 'personal items' such as condoms and pregnancy tests to their training? Perhaps they do already? I think some people lack sensibilities sometimes and are just afflicted with a desire to babble incessantly and when it's coupled with a nosey nature... Ka-boom!!

SettingPlaster Wed 18-Dec-13 13:27:48

Commenting on a stranger's pregnancy test when you are scanning her shopping makes you a bona fide idiot in my eyes.

I'm not interested in your motivation, good intentions, long track record of well-meaning tactlessness etc etc. I don't care whether you're eighteen or eighty. Just talk about the weather, Christmas, your new pet llama. Anything that would be an appropriate subject for chitchat between two total strangers.

And no one should have to tell you this. It comes under 'normal good manners' as well as 'basic professional attitude in workplace'.

SkinnybitchWannabe Wed 18-Dec-13 13:20:43

Yadnbu!
I work on a checkout and would never ever comment. Its rude, nosy and downright unprofessional.
Awful, I would've reported her.

Gruntfuttock Wed 18-Dec-13 13:20:03

differentnameforthis "People want to say something, and people often get it wrong. But to call them an idiot is horrible."

But it is not appropriate for them to "say something" I don't comment on fellow customers' shopping, because they are strangers and it's nothing to do with me. The same applies to the checkout operators.

differentnameforthis Wed 18-Dec-13 13:19:09

Meant to say YANBU.

SkinnybitchWannabe Wed 18-Dec-13 13:18:37

Yam

elliejjtiny Wed 18-Dec-13 13:17:09

YANBU. Pregnancy tests should never be commented on.

differentnameforthis Wed 18-Dec-13 13:16:05

I bought one at the supermarket and the idiot checkout guy shouted "Good luck!"

I don't think it is fair to call anyone an idiot. After all, I don't think that the comments come from a bad or nasty, malicious place, just a thoughtless one. Yes, it isn't a great idea to comment when you don't know the circs, but in my opinion, they are well meaning & it comes from the same place as 'it happened for a reason' in the light of a miscarriage (until I had a very close friend go through it, I didn't know that saying that was totally not helpful) and I feel it is the same in this case too.

People want to say something, and people often get it wrong. But to call them an idiot is horrible.

Onsera3 Wed 18-Dec-13 13:12:21

Oh YANBU for sure.

Been in that exact same situation. 'Maybe a little Christmas present for you?' the lady held up the box after scanning it.

It wasn't. Nor the next month or any other month for the next year.

IVF worked first time for me. Felt like I'd won the lottery when I got that BFP and still does everyday after nearly two years. When you get your BFP (and you will one day I'm sure) you should go buy a whole stash of tests from the same checkout operator and see what she has to say about that. (Honestly, it's so exciting to finally get a BFP that it's great fun to keep testing and see that satisfying line appear)

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 13:07:39

I hear you re: Xmas, onelittle. We are waiting on the outcome of our 4th IVF. I don't think it's going to be good, and all the family-focussed Xmas adverts make me want to put my foot through the telly.

BTW, there is an "egg buddies" thread over in Conception for people going through IVF. Pop over if you fancy some moral support in the lead up to your cycle. x

HopeClearwater Wed 18-Dec-13 12:58:52

Make a complaint to head office. Seriously. Cashier was well out of order. Silly cow.

FirstStopCafe Wed 18-Dec-13 12:57:03

YANBU. I remember being shocked once buying a pregnancy test when the cashier made a similar comment. I mentioned to my husband later that I thought it inappropriate.

I'm sorry it has upset you

Onelittlebugbear Wed 18-Dec-13 12:48:01

Oh god.
It's all so depressing.

I would like christmas not to happen this year.

bonzo77 Wed 18-Dec-13 12:46:57

i had this. I was actually testing to make sure that my miscarriage was complete after a erpc. I told the cashier so. That shut her up.

cantheyseeme Wed 18-Dec-13 12:43:53

When pg with dd1 i wanted to be extra sure but was poorly so asked my brother to pop and get me some boots tests, we lived in a tiny town where everyone knew everyones business and at the checkout the woman asked him "oooh does your mum know abour this?" WTAF! It mightve been understandable if he was a spotty teenager (although still inappropriate) but he was 26 at the time.... some people are bloody idiots.
Sorry about your bfn, it might be worth ordering online in future.
thanks

frizzcat Wed 18-Dec-13 12:36:31

I've had this happen to me at my local Sainburys and I was so pissed off, the girl in question held my Clearblue box up and said - "do you hope pregnant then?" When I gave her my death stare, she then said "oh sorry, do you not want a baby?". Through gritted teeth I told her to scan the box.
Once packed I went to customer service and asked for the duty manager and complained, he was mortified.
YANBU it's the embarrassment of other members of the public hearing that you're about to do a pregnancy test, as, in my case the shop was rammed. This is of course in addition to not knowing your personal circumstances ffs.

Sorry about you're IVF OP

HeadingHome Wed 18-Dec-13 12:34:35

BTW, OP - YNBU

HeadingHome Wed 18-Dec-13 12:31:00

I had a lady at a pharmacy once say something along the lines of "I hope you get the result you want". I thought that was gentle and sweet, but I was fairly support-deprived at the time, so any kindness was greatly appreciated! [just noticed how useless this post is...hmm]

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 18-Dec-13 12:22:27

Sorry OP, that's really rough. It obviously hit you hard. Agree that it's fine to comment on random items going over the conveyor belt, like "those yoghurts look nice, what are they like?" but personal stuff is a no-go area and that should be obvious really.

I'm sorry you were upset.

Trooperslane Wed 18-Dec-13 12:20:39

Does she ask people who buy pile cream if they have lots of grapes?

Aways ultra - you on the blob, love?

Condoms - off home for a shag, are we?

Silly woman.

Good luck with the ivf op. Been where you are and it's hell.

winethanks

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