To think that school plays bring out selfish behaviour in some parents?

(79 Posts)
BaconFrazzles Tue 17-Dec-13 12:42:42

This morning DH and I went to our youngest child's school xmas play. The school our DC go to doesn't charge for tickets, but you have to book tickets as due to space restrictions, and for fairness, there is a limit of 3 seats per child. You are given confirmation of your tickets but there is no policing of the tickets at the door, and every year some families seem to bring loads of people with them, and take no notice of the ticket rules.

This then means that many parents that have stuck to the rules end up with no seats, and standing at the back or crammed at the side of the hall, with a rubbish view. The ones that break the rules are generally there first of all and reserve rows of seats, and get all the front row seats for their grans/aunties/next door neighbours.

This morning at DS's play, I saw that one family had taken up a total of 12 seats: the mum, the dad, both sets of grandparents, the mum's auntie, the mum's 3 cousins, and the family's next door neighbour and her daughter! Another family had a good 6 or 7 seats reserved in the front row.

I know it's only a school play and not that important in the grand scheme of things, but I just think it's so bloody selfish. Everyone wants to see their child perform, and it's unfair that some are blatantly breaking rules, meaning that others don't get to see much of their child. I also noticed today that many people in the front few rows kept standing up to take photos and video their children/grandchildren, meaning that those of us stuck in the rows behind got no view at all for much of the show.

scottishbelle78 Thu 19-Dec-13 20:40:30

Yanbu. The pta at our school always got the front seats reserved. Fair enough if you are helping out etc. However they reserve them for their whole family, grandparents etc.

farrowandbawlbauls Thu 19-Dec-13 11:13:38

Ours is supposed to be organised but it's not. The number of seats and tickets never adds up to the number of people attending.

Despite the no photo rule - the kids are being filmed & photographed.

For 3 years so many people turned up, several of us were left to watch through the double doors to the hall...try explaining that to an autistic child who just doesn't understand why people don't follow the rules. I've got there an hour before hand and still couldn't get in.

Ever since the last play, where not only was I stood outside, kids were screaming and crying - it was impossible to hear anything and the play had to stopped twice for the head to get people to move their cars that were either parked illigally or blocking other's driveways, neither of the kids have bothered to take part in any plays or performances and I've not bothered buying any more tickets. It's not just me either - there's another 2 families that I know of who have given up. I've explained why to the head only to be fobbed off with promises that they will be harsher the next year. They never are.

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 10:21:47

YANBU - it's ridiculous

I think I'm going to email the HT to ask her to ban tablets next year. I was in the 2nd row (got there about an hour before the thing started) but even so, my view was entirely blocked by the people in front of me holding up their ipads next to their heads.

And next to me kneeling on the floor was a mother with a telephoto lens SLR, clicking away. It was like being at a bloody celeb press conference, not an infant school nativity angry

LadyCelia Thu 19-Dec-13 10:12:23

YANBU, that's just not fair.

My pet peeve this year was that there was loads of room (3 tier theatre!!) for all the parents to see & sit down, & people wouldn't move upstairs to the tier there, so they sat in the aisles to film the whole thing on their iPads or camcorders. The Year 10s who were supposed to be ushers were nearly in tears at the people who wouldn't move.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Thu 19-Dec-13 10:08:57

I got there half an hour early yesterday and was the first there! Stood and froze in the cold for about 15 mins until everyone else turned up grin. At least I got to sit in the front row though, so happy days smile

Preciousbane Wed 18-Dec-13 16:41:50

I can't remember the exact words as a few years ago but it was very much how sexy I was and about meeting up. I was so flustered I showed my DH, who laughed, he is not the jealous type. The bloke worked for the local water board, that I do remember as he had sent it from his works email address.

greenfolder Wed 18-Dec-13 06:55:12

Had this with Dd 1 school. With Dd 3 school each year does a separate play,just one performance but no tickets and enough room for all.

CombineBananaFister Tue 17-Dec-13 19:53:16

Same at Ds' school. 2 tickets per child but the numbers certainly didn't add up when you looked around the hall at the ratio of adults to kids performing.
I do film a bit of it blush but only because DH can never attend and i would never obstruct anyones view so i stand at the back/side and give up my allocated seat.

MY nieces school seems to have a good system - 2 tickets per family but mulitple performances that week so different families invited on different days and it fits in with people's working hours (2x a.m. shows and 2x p.m. shows all on different days.) I bet the kids are pros by the end of the week grin

ZeViteVitchofCwismas Tue 17-Dec-13 19:46:07

I wonder if they put the seats for the parents on the stage, and the rest on the floor and had hte performance on the floor.....if that would work....get some heads out the way.

OpalTourmaline Tue 17-Dec-13 19:34:25

ha ha Precious What did he say?

OpalTourmaline Tue 17-Dec-13 19:33:20

I was wondering why we're always able to see the children in plays at our school, then I clicked that it's because my children's primary school used to be a high school and has a stage. I assume most primary schools don't? (Now it sounds like I'm boasting. I'm not. It's just that its in an old high school)

Preciousbane Tue 17-Dec-13 19:30:51

Some bloke tried to pull me via DS nativity. We were allowed to take photos but he didn't think it would be allowed. He was sat next to me so I offered to email him the photos I took after he commented I had a camera. I and then got a very dodgy proposition back, dirty git.

KatnipEvergreen Tue 17-Dec-13 19:29:25

DDs' school checks tickets and it's first come first served for seats. Usually you get there 30 minutes before the start to get in the first two rows.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 17-Dec-13 19:25:03

I have the perfect solution, £1 to enter the raffle and the numbers get drawn on the day, if you have a winning ticket you can get to go in the front row.

The money from this can be used to fund the children Christmas parties in school. DS would have made £100.

OpalTourmaline Tue 17-Dec-13 19:21:22

Yanbu. That does sound very selfish

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 17-Dec-13 19:19:20

I have 3 nieces a nephew and a daughter all in the same school, We have 2 tickets each. It may seem like the whole family is turning up as there is 10 adults, but we are there to watch our children but seeing my nieces and nephew is a nice bonus smile

Mummypatch Tue 17-Dec-13 18:58:47

Ticket cheats = zig zag line parkers = I will not leave the hall even though my baby is crying and nobody can hear = tablet filmers. I was shocked when my DC1 started school that the head seemed to address parents as if they were naughty children. Having seen the behaviour of a (bloody annoying) minority, I fully understand why.

Meery Tue 17-Dec-13 18:32:15

Yes nd i am that parent. At dcs show small hall non ticketed event the school appealed to parents better nature and asked that we limit to two attendees per child. Dh and i turned up earlish the seats were nearly all taken but. there were four spare close to the front. We gleefully grabbed two only to be informed by a woman further back that one child was reserving all four for her family. Needless to say we didn't move but got some really dirty looks from the entitled family when they arrived just before curtain up.

CrohnicallySick Tue 17-Dec-13 17:02:22

We had one of our performances today and it mostly went very well.

Tickets bought via the school office- 2 tickets per family at first, and then extras were available from the beginning of this week.

Then the right number of chairs was put out. Anyone standing at the back was asked to please sit, fire regs and we had left a gangway clear for the children to use during the play.

The only hitch was a baby in the front row- she looked to be around the same age as my DD (14 months). She screamed and cried intermittently, and mum didn't appear to be making much effort to settle her- no toys, snacks, dummy etc appeared, mum just shifted her from one knee to another. At no point did she attempt to take her out, and none of the teachers wanted to ask her to leave (that's the head's job and no one could catch her eye). I felt sorry for the children on stage who were being put off and drowned out.

Last year, I watched the play with DD. She started squawking, so I took her out and watched the rest of the performance from the corridor outside so she didn't disturb anyone. It's not that much of a hardship!

mumofweeboys Tue 17-Dec-13 15:55:25

I was very impressed with ds new school. 4 tickets per child and the tickets had seat numbers.

ZingChoirsOfAngels Tue 17-Dec-13 15:14:57

sorry OP for long post and not quite answering you.

YANBU. it's like towel marking place at the pool.
it's disgraceful.

ZingChoirsOfAngels Tue 17-Dec-13 15:12:43

just reacting to title - yes, they do.

It's ridiculous.

When DS1 was in reception we needed to bring in a shepherd's costume.
I heard the mums talking about so I asked what should that look like.
they said "oh just a tea towel and a tunic"

well I'm not English so I had no idea what they meant by it - we didn't have nativity plays when I was little.
so I asked one mum who had her kid's costume in a bag with her if I could take a look so I could get an idea of what is needed - I explained that I just don't want to bring in something totally different and make DS1 feel uncomfortable.

she made faces at me and very reluctantly showed me the costume.
I said "thanks, it's like the Shepherds in the kids' Bible - I'm glad I know what I need to make! "

it came back to me that she had said afterwards that I was pushy and wanted to copy his son's costume and that she was worried that my DS1's outfit might end up being better. (it didn't it was fine. and he was happy)

ffs though!

who the fuck has a competition about best looking shepherd costume? confused
who cares which kid looks best?
the better/more appropriate they all look the better the experience for all, surely!
I just needed help - and at a level that I would have been happy to offer, had it been other way round!

would she have been satisfied if I brought DS1 in a traditional Hungarian sheperd outfit and risk the others looking at him like he's from another planet, making him feel bad?

anyway, I never asked her for another thing.

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Tue 17-Dec-13 14:47:01

Or slip the caretaker a back-hander Sounds like a plan!

KellyEllyMincePieBelly Tue 17-Dec-13 14:46:25

KellyElly, If you set off this evening with a sleeping bag and a flask of tea then you might just manage to get one of the last available seats grin

ProphetOfDoom Tue 17-Dec-13 14:41:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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