Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

AIBU?

Requests for gifts with the fucking wedding invite.

319 replies

intothenever · 16/12/2013 06:10

HOW is this socially acceptable? How? Family and friends, Please join us as we celebrate our love and commit to spend our lives together. Enclosed is a list of things we would like you to buy us. 1000 times worse when the demand for gifts is in rhyming couplets.

OP posts:

Report

BikeRunSki · 16/12/2013 06:16

It is pretty traditional to send a wedding list with the invitation.

RudolphLovesoftplay · 16/12/2013 06:17

To be perfectly honest, I don't really understand the aversion to gift lists . Most people surely want to give the couple a gift they actually want? I know I don't want to spend £100 on something that won't get used.

I think it's acceptable to say, please don't feel like you have to get us a present, what's important is you being with us on our day. However, if you would like to get us something, there is a list at JL, Debenhams etc etc.

Just make sure that on the list is things with a price range that starts really low.

BikeRunSki · 16/12/2013 06:19

I did object to "cricket shoes, size 11" on a wedding list once. We went for the more traditional towels.

ceres · 16/12/2013 06:32

well tbf even debretts reckons sending wedding lists with invitations is acceptable.

i have an issue with people getting their knickers in a twist about buying wedding presents. why would you go to a wedding, or any party, without a present? now that is rude.

ARealPickle · 16/12/2013 06:40

Its quite normal though isnt it? The major stores gave out a little card to put in the envelope in my day. I guess now there's often a more discrete email link....

but it doesnt mean you have to buy from the list bt saves people wondering or you posting another 100 cards out.

desperateforaholiday · 16/12/2013 06:41

yabu, I thought it was normal to send a list with the invite, would you really go to a wedding without a gift?
At least this was you will be able to get them something they want

KittyVonCatsington · 16/12/2013 06:42

What's got your knickers in a twist, OP?

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 16/12/2013 06:44

I don't get the antipathy to it I've seen on here either. I have always wanted to give a gift whenever I have attended a wedding and I am grateful to be able to pick something off a list as it is so much easier!

WeAreEternal · 16/12/2013 06:45

I like wedding gift lists, they are traditional and make shopping for a gift easy.
Asking for money is rude, even more so if it is I'm a poem.

TheArticFunky · 16/12/2013 06:48

I didn't want to put a gift list in the invitation as it felt grabby but my Mum said it was traditional and said that she would be annoyed if she received an invitation without a list.

In the end I put a little card in with the invitation asking people to contact my mum if they wanted a copy of the gift list.

redcaryellowcar · 16/12/2013 06:51

we didn't include a gift list or money requesting poem in our wedding invite but i think most people either asked what we wanted at which point we directed them to john Lewis gift list or they bought vouchers, we didn't get random stuff just because we didn't include a list.

Canthaveitall · 16/12/2013 06:52

Yabu. Have you ever been to a wedding and not bought a gift? Would you not prefer to know what to buy?

valiumredhead · 16/12/2013 06:52

A wedding list is perfectly acceptable. If you don't have one everyone rings up and asks you for one ime.

Don't get the angst about asking for money either, it's not like you pay for a gift with fairy dust, is it, and saves you the bother of shopping?

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/12/2013 06:54

I don't get why people get upset/angry over wedding lists

Much easier to buy something they need esp online

And again vouchers don't bother me - whether I spend £30 on a clock or same amount on vouchers

Vouchers are my godsend for Xmas pressies via amazon :)

FairyPenguin · 16/12/2013 06:57

It is traditional, but I was not impressed when I received a thick envelope once containing an invite and THREE gift lists. That was a bit much.

Ememem84 · 16/12/2013 06:57

We found this difficult. Dh's family are in nz. We wNted to go and visit. We asked for money. Not in a "we want to go here please pay travel agent" way. But in a "we are going if you would like to contribute thank you that'd be lovely" way. Can't remember the exact wording. But asking was awful.

GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets · 16/12/2013 06:58

YADNBU. Yes, wedding lists are much easier for guests and of course people would always buy a gift at a wedding - OP never said otherwise. It's just the assumption that you'll be buying something that bugs me. It's grabby. I had a wedding list but didn't include details in the invites - I waited to be asked if there was a list. You wouldn't say "I'm having a birthday party and this is what I want for a present" and weddings are no different.

Crowler · 16/12/2013 07:00

I understand it's acceptable now, but I can't get on board with it.

firesidechat · 16/12/2013 07:03

Sorry, but I'm another one who can't get their knickers in a twist over this.

When you go to a wedding you take a gift and much easier if someone tells you what they want isn't it? It doesn't seem grabby to me, just practical.

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 07:10

If you are going to go then surely you are taking a present? You then need some guidance or they end up with 3 or more toasters!
With the cost of postage it makes sense.
Option 1- send it with the invitation.
Option 2 - people accept and ask for a list and have to have it posted.
Option 1 is more practical, if not as polite, but I would have thought that you knew them well enough not to be offended if you are invited. If it does offend you then just decline the invitation.

Crowler · 16/12/2013 07:10

Of course I'm going to buy a gift, but the presumption of a gift is bothersome. I can email the bride and ask her where's she's registered.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 16/12/2013 07:11

[shrug]
It's hardly worth getting worked up about to the point of swearing.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

AuntieStella · 16/12/2013 07:13

It is rude to ask for gifts.

It is done frequently, but that doesn't make it less rude.

If you're going to be rude, you can at least make those on the receiving end snigger by doing so in doggerel.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 16/12/2013 07:13

I know NO ONE in RL who has an issue with wedding lists. It's an MN peculiarity, as far as I can see.

If I got a wedding invitation with no gift list/indication as to preferred gift, I'd be turning the envelope out looking for it. It's NORMAL.

tumbletumble · 16/12/2013 07:13

My parents went through their attic recently and chucked out a set of garden furniture that was no use to anyone after disintegrating in an attic for over 40 years. They've never lived anywhere with a garden big enough to sit in.

This is why people have wedding lists!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.