About character-emblazoned clothes?

(187 Posts)
CrazyThursday Tue 10-Dec-13 21:10:07

* Disclaimer: no offence to those who like character clothes *

DM asked me what DD would like for Xmas so I provided a list (to the other gp's too).

DM ignored list and texted to say she'd seen a "lovely" coat with a cartoon character on whixh she was going to get for DD. We have previously discussed how we both dislike character clothes and how I would never buy them for DD whilst she's little enough to wear what I put her in (she's 2). I texted DM back saying "hmmm really not a fan of character stuff, though I've seen a nice plain coat that would be nice instead, or failing that something from the list". The text back was "well I've bought it now".

She phoned the next day and said "if you really hate it I guess I'll put it on eBay but I though dd would love it". I said "I'm sure dd would like it but I'm afraid I can't stand the stuff which we'd both joked about in the past and until she asks to wear that kind if thing I plan to avoid it". This was last week.

Today DM and I were on the phone and she said "that coat is so cute, I'm so sure DD will love it. I think I'm going to keep it here and she can wear it on the days that I have her, she can start a CHARACTER NAME rebellion".

AIBU to be really riled by this? DM has undermined me on a few DD related things and I rarely say anything because it has, in the past, led to almighty rows and I'm slowly learning to pick my battles. In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter what DD wears, it's more my mum's attitude of "I don't care whether you like it or not". And what else would she be doing on the days that she has DD that I might not like??? Will she use that time she has with DD to get one up on mummy?

Binnky Tue 10-Dec-13 21:12:32

yAnbu about hating character clothing!

SantanaLopez Tue 10-Dec-13 21:14:27

It's a fucking coat. Let your DD wear it and think she's the most beautiful girl walking down the street.

Your last two questions sound unbelievably paranoid.

theeternalstudent Tue 10-Dec-13 21:20:33

My lovely mum buys clothes for DD that I don't particularly like all the time. I've came to accept it and actually now I quite like it as it means I don't have to spend a fortune on clothes for her!

Anyway point is do you risk a lovely and loving relationship between your daughter and her grandmother for the sake of a coat?? If you hate it that much then just let her wear it when she is going out with her grandmother!

Morloth Tue 10-Dec-13 21:22:56

Shrug, if other people are buying my kids clothes I am happy.

As long as it isn't unpleasant (i.e. nasty messages) then it is all good.

Really? Is this important? So what if it has a character on it, will it do the job?

HenriettaPie Tue 10-Dec-13 21:24:48

YABU- it's a cost fgs hmm

HenriettaPie Tue 10-Dec-13 21:24:59

Coat

CrazyThursday Tue 10-Dec-13 21:25:23

Well as I said, it's not so much about the coat itself, it's more that mum is insistent on it even though I've said thanks but no thanks. And then she tells me that she's going to deliberately go against me??

Santana - I can see how I might be coming across as OTT but the first time dd stayed out overnight was with DM when I went to a wedding. Dd was poorly and I felt dreadful for leaving her. Wasn't til the next day when I collected her that DM told me they'd taken DD to a&e as she was so unwell. So there is an element of trust missing in all this....

sutekidane Tue 10-Dec-13 21:26:30

Looking beyond the clothes issue, I think YANBU to be annoyed if your mum is undermining your opinion on serious things but if its minor things YABU. It's part of the grandparents job to give treats and break the silly little rules. I used to get aggravated too but realised that the things annoying me were so tiny and minor in the grand scheme of things.

What kind of things does she undermine you on with regard to your dd?

Sirzy Tue 10-Dec-13 21:28:44

Its a coat, its a free coat at that. Does it really matter?

I don't like character clothes but DS has had them over the years when we have been given them.

Its not really something to get worked up about though

ParenthoodJourney Tue 10-Dec-13 21:29:40

I really dislike character clothes also. And I never bought them for my DS, he's 4 and a half now so starts asking for it! So I let him have character pyjamas and character lunch boxes etc! When people buy clothes for your kids, it's polite to take it and say thank you even if you don't like it. It's just an item of clothing and they went to the effort to pick someone thing they really thought your DD would like. However it is also polite for the person who is giving the present to include the receipt! And then we never speak of it again! ;-)

Sirzy Tue 10-Dec-13 21:29:52

Crazy - have you considered they were trying to help by not spoiling your night away? I wouldn't be best impressed but can see how it would be done with the best intentions. (as long as it didn't end up being admitted or anything serious of course)

Bunbaker Tue 10-Dec-13 21:30:59

"So there is an element of trust missing in all this...."

I don't understand. Your DD was ill so your parents did the responsible thing and sought medical attention, yet didn't wish to spoil your evening. So what don't you trust about your mother?

Morloth Tue 10-Dec-13 21:31:08

A&E story is completely different, of course and if the coat is part of a bigger game then maybe mentioning that would get you different responses.

But as far as I am concerned Free Clothes=Good Clothes.

MangoLangoTango Tue 10-Dec-13 21:31:50

Will your DD like it though? If the coat gives her joy what's the harm in that?
I personally don't like character clothing but my little boy lights up when he gets to put his Mickey Mouse shirt on, so I buy them for him anyway alongside other clothing more to my taste.

PeazlyPops Tue 10-Dec-13 21:32:49

YABU, pick your battles!

TheRobberBride Tue 10-Dec-13 21:36:47

YABU.

It's just a coat. If your DD will love it and it will keep her warm I really don't think it's worth getting het up about. I would never turn my nose up at the gift of a perfectly functional item of clothing because it wasn't my taste.

I don't really understand the aversion to 'character' clothing TBH. Should kids always be clad in JoJo or Verbaudet in case somebody thinks they're <whispers> common?

But if this is more about the relationship you have with your DM that is something you need to address.

CaptainHindsight Tue 10-Dec-13 21:38:33

Free coat is a free coat and I'd be chuffed I didn't have to spend any wine money of my own!

It might not be your taste,so what? It's a coat.

When it's covered in mud from rolling around with the dog or covered in bike chain oil or DS' personal snot rag hmm it won't seem so important.

There are a lot of things I would prefer my DD and DS to wear and to have. Things are bought for them by friends and family.

The trick is, if they can't be dissuaded, just smile, accept and either regift, donate or let them enjoy it.

HermioneWeasley Tue 10-Dec-13 21:40:55

If you're worried, find other childcare

MidniteScribbler Tue 10-Dec-13 21:42:53

It's clothing. A bit of fabric with a cartoon character on it. It's not the first step towards a life of bludging on welfare and smoking weed.

Screamqueen Tue 10-Dec-13 21:43:11

What's the big issue some people have with a character on clothes anyway, its no big deal. And its age appropriate, you wont find my 11 year old running around in a Moshi Monsters top unlike his 5 year old brother.

ZombiePenguin Tue 10-Dec-13 21:43:47

YABU.

It's a coat. What's wrong with characters?

The A&E thing, YANBU. Probably from the goodness of their heart. But they were wrong.

Lambzig Tue 10-Dec-13 21:44:26

YANBU, I hate character clothes for children too. In fact I feel very strongly that I don't want my Dc to be an advertising hoard for whatever ghastly Disney/Pixar/hello fucking Kiitty thing is flavour of the month on the high street.

If my D step M or anyone else did that I would say thank you politely, but it would simply go to charity and my DC wouldn't wear it.

TSSDNCOP Tue 10-Dec-13 21:45:20

DD has a coat my mum bought with characters on it.

Not my taste so coat lives at DMs and DD can wear it whenever she likes.

Problem solved.

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