Unbearable boss

[busylizzy12]

I appreciate that I may come across as a horrible person and am quite clearly unreasonable.....but my boss is slowly driving me absolutely mad and I wonder if anyone else has any tips or can even just tell me i'm BU.

Ok....I am 32 and work with just my female (aged 45) boss. Other colleagues are not sat in the immediate vicinity. The long and short of it is that she is the most annoying person I've ever met in my life. She talks and talks and talks about people or things i don't know about, about the most mundane things sometimes for as long as 30 mins without me even saying a word...seriously. She rarely asks me anything and even if it is it is so that she can answer the same question. She is quite rude to people and can be quite blunt (always used to remark on how big my boobs were and how enormous i was when pg & how pregnancy made her feel sick). She is universally disliked by other colleagues because of her flippant remarks and, quite frankly because her conversation is intense and very dull.

She's never met my dh yet criticises him (i reveal v little about my life and what i do say about him does not give her grounds to be snidey about him). She is single and always talks about how it is "rather you than me" about the fact i have a child.

I cannot articulate how irritating and intense this woman is to be around. I leave the office with my ears ringing from the sound of her voice and my jaw clenched. How do people cope with ths kind of thing? It's utterly exhausting but i otherwise love my job.

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

Gaffer tape!

[LaurieFairyCake]

Headphones

Or grow ovaries of steel and say something

Like Shut the fuck up, your incessant wittering is making me want to shit on your head

In your own words obviously ....

[NumNumChristmasPudInMyTum]

Ovaries of steel. I am stealing this. Soooo much better than 'grow a pair'.

[Topseyt]

Earplugs have their uses, as do ipods/mp3 players.

[Callani]

ovaries of steel I like it. I definitely wouldn't say something though - she sounds like the type of person who wouldn't take a polite hint and would go into a rage if you were actually forthright... Difficult.

Um - pretend you have severe earache and wear earplugs "to minimise the ringing so I can concentrate"???

[NeoFaust]

Find and wear some Satanic/cultist jewellery. She'll ask about it once, you invite her to a skyclad blood sacrament and voluntary barbecue. Fix her with an unblinking stare while she flounders and offer no more information until she looks away.

Then, after the next weekend, buy a small model shrunken head for your desk with the mouth sewn shut. If she asks, chuckle quietly and say 'I just call him doggybag, because of the barbecue'.

Something similar worked for me and now I'm allowed to wear headphones and just listen to music. No more irrelevant small talk.

[SugarCaneShortCake]

Your boss sounds like she is jealous of you. You have a DH and a DC. I would suggest that you start doing the talking. Drone on about your wonderful life and how much you love your DH and what a blessing it is to have a child etc etc.

[WhatHo]

Yes, yes medicinal earplugs!!!

[vtechjazz]

Do you respond to her chatter? Even the merest eyebrow raise will make her think you are enjoying it. If she comments on your new lack of acknowledgment say sorry, I had to tune you out as I'm very busy, was it important?

[limitedperiodonly]

We've all had our crosses to bear at work. There's nothing you can do except look for another job.

I'm not sure what your ages have to do with it. She's hardly a withered crone and to an 18-year-old you do realise you'd seem ancient, don't you?

[busylizzy12]

limitedperiod - oh nothing was meant by that other than we are ultimately in the same age range. And yes, you are right - my 19 year old neice made that quite clear when I asked her where she goes on nights out.

Thanks for the responses - I am very patient but, God, it's trying..

[SofaKing]

You have all my sympathy. My work got a woman like this to cover my maternity leave, she started two months before I left and was just unbearable. Just her and me, boss took advantage of her presence to have some time off, and I was left with her droning on about herself for eight hours a day without pause. Except when she tried to order me around, she did have to pause while I told her she wasn't my boss.

I found out before I left that her contract had been made permanent, as boss was thinking of retiring when I returned. I didn't go back after mat leave when I discovered this!

Have you thought of developing hearing problems? My mum and aunt are deaf, it makes it very difficult to conduct conversations, and the sparkle wears off your stories if you have to repeat the same bits over and over…

[busylizzy12]

Not gone down the poor hearing route but i have complained of a 'headache' on a couple of occasions just to get an indulgent half hour of peace before she forgets and starts up like a non-stop 8 hour train again....

Today has been horrific - she also has a nasty habit of interrupting whoever is speaking (on the rare occasson anyone gets a word in edgeways) by speaking REALLY FUCKING LOUD to the point where it hurts your ears and the other person inevitably relents and lets her speak again. This has been happening all day. Utterly miserable. My poor drums.

[SantanaLopez]

You could recruit the entire office into a charity silence?

[SugarCaneShortCake]

Have you thought of the "will you please shut the fuck up" route as a last resort?

[foreverondiet]

How about, sorry don't really have time to focus on what you are saying have to focus on my work, have lots of work to do, feel free to talk to yourself though.

Or earplugs (not joking) or iPod.

[curableromantic]

She sounds very thick-skinned, but you could try describing a woman you met at a party and how she went on and on, thinking she was really clever and funny, while everyone else was wishing she would shut up, then chuckle to yourself and ask her if she's ever met anyone like that, and doesn't she wonder if people who never stop talking must be a bit short on brains etc etc