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Paranoid or justified?

(24 Posts)
Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 14:14:51

Hi please can you all give me your thoughts
2 years ago I very stupidly got flirting with an old work friend over face book
Never met or anything happened but it was very flirty
Dh saw the msgs it only happened once and he was really upset but he forgave me then we moved on
Today we had a row because he and my friend have been texting each other for the last year nothing really bad but I feel weird about it like today she asked him if I could look after her son but not asked me and I only hear from her now and again
It's more a feeling than finding anything
We were having a row because I was pissed off with it when he blurts out with our ds 15 in the car what happened a few years ago
Cue ds hating me and wanting me to leave.

This morning I've had a massive row with my friend and no one is talking to me. My Dh I'd blaming me for ruining our friendship with our friends. Don't know what to do.
Sorry for the lengthy x

I think you all need to grow up a little bit and take some of the power away from your 15 YO.
How do you mean your DS wanted to leave?

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 14:19:20

He said he wanted me to go cos his dad had done nothing wrong

Wonderwhy123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:22:42

How's things now?

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:27:23

Awful my friends says I'm being childish and making a fuss about nothing
Her dh rang me and yelled at me for upsetting his wife and that nothing's going on
My dh keeps saying it's all my fault I've been crying all day can't eat and feel so sick
Her dh just rang mine to see how he is
What the actual fuck ?

Sparklymommy Mon 09-Dec-13 15:31:11

Sounds a bit like teenagers on Jeremy Kyle tbh.

Let things calm down and try talking to you dh calmly.

Wonderwhy123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:32:15

That's not on, don't answer the phone to them. Can your Dh stay somewhere else for a few days?

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:36:55

Yeah I've asked him to go to his mums for a few days
I'm not answering it again I feel, like I'm going mad

Wonderwhy123 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:56:58

Don't blame you, think its the best to give you both chance to calm down.

redshifter Mon 09-Dec-13 16:01:16

Can't you stay somewhere else for a few days?

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:02:03

No where to go and I work locally

Wonderwhy123 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:07:29

Is Ds going to stay with you?

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:14:30

Yeah he's going to comeback in the morning to take him to school
I said just leave me the car it's easier and he said no I want to take him to school then I will go again
Friend is posting things on Facebook just dropping hints saying she is sad etc
Would you block her and dh or just ignore ?

mynewpassion Mon 09-Dec-13 16:19:49

Maybe its your own guilt that's coming out from your past flirtation. On the relationships board, posters tend to wonder when one spouse is accusing another of cheating, sometimes that spouse is cheating or thinking of cheating, too.

Maybe the friend and her DH are less your friends now and more your DH's friends in the last couple of years. In the past they were both your friends. I wonder if he confided in them both about your emotional cheating.

Just something to think about.

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:21:03

Yeah maybe that would make sense

Golferman Mon 09-Dec-13 16:22:22

FFS! [Hmmm]

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:23:42

Meaning ?

Wonderwhy123 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:25:01

I would just ignore your friend for the time being.

Huskylover1969 Mon 09-Dec-13 16:26:10

Yeah I will do

Donkeylovesmarzipanandmincepie Mon 09-Dec-13 16:34:12

Paranoid or justified, I don't know but why on earth would he blab about that other business in front of DS? If nothing led from it and you have acknowledged it was a stupid mistake and have never given him cause to doubt you, that belongs in the past.

Now the boot's on the other foot and you are troubled and want answers. Was anything else setting off your radar, has he been preoccupied, detached, unresponsive, antagonistic?

If DH was texting her to get you back he's wound you up good and proper.
If she is a good friend to you both she will be wondering what is going on.
and probably egged her H to ring yours, most likely.
All her H knows is what she tells him so if she thinks you've lost the plot, he will only be interested in your DH's side of the story.

Stop texting and FBing for now, concentrate on talking face to face.

Take a deep breath, ring DH, ask him to bring home fish and chips and you can sit, eat and talk. This has all got out of hand, focus on DH and you not your friend, (if she wants you babysitting she can ask you herself but this isn't about babysitting is it).

DoJo Mon 09-Dec-13 18:17:03

So you were happy to row about the situation with him in front of your son, but not for him to know about what you did? It sounds as though you feel guilty over your indiscretion, and might be projecting that onto your husband, but either way you shouldn't be discussing things like this in front of your son at all. I hope you can work it out but it sounds like it needs to start with an apology from you.

bc189 Mon 09-Dec-13 19:58:37

I was wondering if you.feel you get enough attention, love, and support from your husband, and if the influx of Msgs between your husband and friend have just, made you a feel a bit left out. And maybe you crave that level of attention from your husband again? I would suggest sitting him down telling him why you feel so threatened by the messaging and hope you two can work it through. Maybe a weekend away alone no phones?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 09-Dec-13 20:04:05

Is the 1969 in your user name your mums dob? This is incredibly childish.

WinterWinds Mon 09-Dec-13 23:34:12

Did you know that your DH was texting your friend or was this done in secret?

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