To wish that DH would wear his hearing aids?

(34 Posts)
Sightoabloodyscream Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:51

I've NC because everyone I know knows how pissed off I am about this.

Dh has struggled to hear ever since we met, but it was only after it looked like our son may have hearing difficulties that we were both tested.

I appear to have the hearing of a particularly large-eared bat; Dh has the hearing of an 80 year old.

You can see the problem.

"Stop muttering."
"I'm not."

"Sigh, sigh, sigh. Fucking hell, I've asked you (insert question) five times!"
"I answered. Five times." etc, etc.

Anyway. Eventually, dh got hearing aids and I thought all would be right with the world: he would be able to hear me; the tv could be a reasonable volume; I wouldn't always be the first to hear the kids; the neighbours wouldn't have to hear every detail of our conversation; I wouldn't have to say the same thing over and over again.

But does he wear them? Does he fuck. Sorry, yes he does - to watch Game of Thrones and Walking dead. Oh, and Homeland because apparently they mumble on that too.

So am I being unreasonable?

StillSlightlyCrumpled Sun 08-Dec-13 21:40:41

Good luck purple. DS has worn heating aids since he was a toddler & I'm not exaggerating when I say they've changed his life. He had a few issues with infections in the wounds, but we kind of expected that as he has a compromised immune system anyway.
DH & I have both noticed that he is more able to keep up with the flow of conversations at the dinner table.
I hope the surgery goes well & that you're soon enjoying better hearingsmile.

Good luck purple fsmile

Catrin Sun 08-Dec-13 21:44:09

YANBU. DD is profoundly Deaf, yet is very Deaf unaware still - turns away mid conversation etc when she doesn't have her implant on so cannot see me signing, then complains I did not finish talking to her.

Re BAHAs - the people I have known with them have had excellent results. Best of luck with it.

Footle Sun 08-Dec-13 21:46:42

Great thread , thanks everyone. DH wears his all the time he's awake. I'm rubbish at producing my voice properly , and it does make us both feel sad and sometimes exasperated. Subtitles help with tv and films. He also has a digital amplifier thingy for extra clarity in certain situations. Hearing aids help a lot but not enough.

MrsBramleyApple Sun 08-Dec-13 21:48:44

DS2 has hearing aids (digi) and has Elmo charms on them. He hasn't been offered a cochlear implant and if he had when he was younger I wouldn't have said yes as I think it is his decision to make and not mine.........

RiceBurner Sun 08-Dec-13 21:49:22

PS You willl need devise certain 'strategies' for communcating with someone who can't hear well, assuming that are already doing their 'bit' ie that they are WEARING their HAs.

One of my 'rules' is that I REFUSE to shout. (Unless in an emergency!) I have a very weak voice and this would just hurt me if I did it a lot. So I have never gone down the route of shouting.

I think a lot of people end up shouting (eg to deaf, old folks) but I find it quite rude/embarrassing and not very helpful.

Much better to get their attention (somehow) 1st, and then speak face to face. Mostly this means you have to find/get close to them. (Or they they have to find/approach you.) Speaking slowly and clearly to their face means they have more chance to hear you better. I can never attempt to communciate with my DH over a long distance esp if there's wind or any other noise going on.

Another tactic is to start speaking, then pause ... to see if you have the person's full attention ... so you won't have to repeat the WHOLE story over again! (Which is very annoying.) So I wait for eye contact before I continue.

And for TV, you can get special devises (wireless lightweight headsets) for the hard of hearing, which means the rest of you don't have to have the TV on full volume.

As with most disabilities, having the money to buy the best aids is really very useful. (So hope that's not a problem for you.)

FYI, HAs are advancing at a very quick pace and our son (now a young working adult) has got tiny inside-the-ear-canal HAs which are very discreet & very powerful. (Also very expensive!) They are pre-programmed by the audiologst for his hearing loss, then they 'learn' what sounds are most common for his environment and adapt their functions accordingly, (somehow) to 'cope' with the varying levels of sound he is exposed to. (This is to protect the ears from sudden loud noises while allowing for more amplification in quiet situations.)

It seems it DOES take a long time to get used to wearing HAs for adults, and they are obviously v annoying to have in the ears, (as no one would choose to wear them if they didn't have to), but I understand that the more you wear them (as long as they are decent ones which fit), the easier/better it gets. (They 'learn' and the wearer adapts.)

So I really hope your DH will look into making sure he has the best HAs he can afford (or that the NHS can offer) and that he 'makes friends' with wearing them, as he will miss so much if he doesn't. And with age, he will struggle more and more. So the sooner he gets used to them the better?

Even for a modest hearing lose I think they are a great boon.

And more people are openly wearing HAs now ... ie not trying to hide them ... including younger people. (You can even get brightly coloured ones for behind the ear.) So it would be great if you could convince him to wear his ... for him and also for others (including kids) who might have far worse hearing loss than his?

Is there a chance your DS will need HAs one day? If yes, his dad should show him how 'cool' they are and/or show a good example re wearing his now?! smile

spottyblanket Sun 08-Dec-13 23:46:25

My dd often decides to just wear one aid instead of both. she prefers it. i think it helps her to cope by being able to tune out when she needs to, especially when tired ( not sure if its a good idea really but it's her choice).

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Sun 08-Dec-13 23:56:38

If you are getting ear infections from sweaty moulds etc., I've been told that soaking the moulds in a Savlon/water mixture overnight can help (also helps to stop the moulds discolouring). Obviously a BAHA is better if it's suitable and you can get through the waiting list, but if not/in the meantime that can help.

ChrisMooseMickey Mon 09-Dec-13 06:31:28

good luck purple- i had mine fitted when I was 6 and it was the best thing that my mum ever said yes too!
the aids are all singing and dancing now too- mine has flashy lights grin

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