Who was being unreasonable?

(17 Posts)
SkippydedoDaa Sun 08-Dec-13 20:31:29

My dd goes to a dance class on Saturdays. As I don't drive, DH comes along with dd2 who is 19 months.

We take it in turns to take dd2 for walks or following her toddling around the viewing area.

There are lots of parents and a few other babies and toddlers in the viewing area also.

Today, a woman had put her baby to sleep in the pram, she was sitting next to us.
As usual dd2 was toddling about etc but did not go near the baby in the pram.

This woman was being all cats bum face at us and kept glaring at her friend and rolling her eyes every time dd2 was near. I think she was convinced my dd2 was going to wake her baby.

Admittedly dd2 was up and down, toddling about and occasionally saying hello to people- not shouting but loud as babies do.

As usual dh and I took her to another room to let her run about but kept popping back to either swap or so we could see dd1 dance. Dd2 then had a short lived tantrum which resulted in a little bit of high pitched screaming.

This woman just sat glaring and had a face like thunder. I left feeling like we had done something wrong and been one of those families.

Surely if she wanted her baby to sleep she should have went somewhere quiet?

I suffer from social anxiety so this is playing on my mind. Who is BU?

WhoNickedMyName Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:39

Neither of you.

She was probably trying to enjoy watching one child dancing while her baby was sleeping, and was a bit anxious in case your child woke hers up. A screaming child having a tantrum near your 'just got to sleep' baby is every parents nightmare grin.

No biggy. Don't give it another thought.

Sirzy Sun 08-Dec-13 20:37:06

What WhoNicked said.

Agree. But maybe she was just thinking, shit, I've got all this yet to come wink

HerrenaHarridan Sun 08-Dec-13 20:39:34

Another neither.

She probably couldn't help but glare. I've done it on occasion when dd has been a nightmare and finally gone to sleep I have found myself giving 'innocent' toddlers death glares because I am imagining the consequences of them waking the baby.

99% of the time I'm a very relaxed parent would be cross of your kid pushes mine over etc but some days are just like that smile

HerrenaHarridan Sun 08-Dec-13 20:40:13

Wouldn't b cross obviously

Sorry, that was a bit trite. I find smiling, saying sorry occasionally and being joyfully oblivious to the cat's bum faces works a treat.

<disclaimer: 14 years of autistic ds practice>

AnnabelleLee Sun 08-Dec-13 20:44:20

So much angst because a woman had a look on her face? Seriously, read a book or something, stop with the thinking.

SkippydedoDaa Sun 08-Dec-13 20:46:31

Yes annabellelee ...its a symptom of the social anxiety I mentioned in my op.

MisForMumNotMaid Sun 08-Dec-13 20:50:14

Don't overthink it.

No doubt you've had moments were if someone rings the door bell/ phone, opens a door, sneezes etc etc at the wrong moment you'd be tempted to bite their head off (over a just settled baby) - or that might just be mewink

She may have had several really bad nights sleep and so be relieved she could just sit for a while, so a playing toddler was suddenly a major threat. The face pulling is childish of her, and toddlers play and have tantrums so you needn't feel guilty for that.

Pinholes Sun 08-Dec-13 20:57:14

So much angst because a woman had a look on her face? Seriously, read a book or something, stop with the thinking.

OP has social anxiety, do you also go around telling people with depression to just cheer the fuck up? hmm

SkippydedoDaa Sun 08-Dec-13 21:00:15

Thanks all for putting it in a more rational perspective for me flowers

WhoNickedMyName Sun 08-Dec-13 21:06:32

As someone who has also had social anxiety, I know that you'll have probably picked up on one tiny glance between this woman and her friend and then become hyper-aware and hypersensitive.

She's left the dance class with her still sleeping baby, and honestly not given you or your toddler another thought.

SkippydedoDaa Sun 08-Dec-13 21:11:35

How did you get over your social anxiety of you don't mind me asking?

WhoNickedMyName Sun 08-Dec-13 21:26:21

I read a lot of self help books and various websites were helpful.

But the main thing was I had 6 months of CBT which I paid for privately (best money I ever spent), and I have occasional top up sessions with a psychotherapist at work (I work for NHS so she does it as a friend/colleague freebie). I still occasionally catch myself slipping back into old ways of thinking and behaving, I think it's going to be a lifelong thing for me that there's no cure for as such, but I can manage it quite well at the moment.

AbiRoad Sun 08-Dec-13 21:38:50

I don't think you were unreasonable but out of interest why don't you just let DH take DD 1 and you stay at home or do something else with DD2?

gobbynorthernbird Sun 08-Dec-13 21:49:28

Some people (me included) just have a bit of a bitchy face. Don't read too much into it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now