If you allow your young DC to become morbidly obese then it should be treated the same as if you'd starved them.

(201 Posts)
ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 08-Dec-13 16:16:23

This link is really upsetting. I hate seeing young children that are incredibly overweight. It is, for me, the same as seeing children that have been underfed. When children are young they do not get to choose what they eat, they are given their food by their parents.

I understand that as children get older then controlling what they eat when not under your supervision is impossible but at this age it is just appalling.

AIBU?

Nancy66 Sun 08-Dec-13 16:19:40

No, it's not the same. Starving you child is a deliberate and calculated act of cruelty.

Overfeeding a child, while wrong, is often borne out of love.

Dawndonnaagain Sun 08-Dec-13 16:22:14

It is sad, but it's probably not done out of cruelty.
Just as an aside, my ds was put on steriods at five due to growth problems. He was overweight for a while, due to the steriods, people judged.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 08-Dec-13 16:23:48

I disagree, overfeeding a child is just as bad. It does not stem from love, more from convenience and using food as a treat or fast food (regularly) instead of cooking is not good. Also, not providing your child with the opportunity to exercise is horrible. Children that are overfed often end up with lifelong weight problems and thus health problems in later life.

RedLondonBus Sun 08-Dec-13 16:24:29

There's enough education out there, but I'm inclined to agree its abuse.

They are not just over fed but also under exercised.

KungFuBustle Sun 08-Dec-13 16:24:52

YANBU. Health reasons aside obviously, weight isn't always straight forward, medicines and health conditions can cause weight gain.

I don't know how much more can be done, the healthy eating awareness thing feels at it's peak. From a previous thread iI'm aware they're ruined Ritz crackers taking the salt out. It feels like we're not expected to know things like that need moderation. Cases like this indicate they're right.

I'll never forget DS coming home with healthy leaflets stressing about the fat in blue top milk ffs. It's overkill. Some people clearly cannot work out what a healthy diet is or just don't care. There are kids at DS's school handed sharing sized bags of sweets for the ride home. Not all are overweight but it's a daily thing and can't be good for them.

Who'd do that to a child?

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 08-Dec-13 16:25:02

Dawn I am not judging children that have pre existing health conditions or that need medicine that affects their weight. That is a different thing entirely.

NorthernLebkuchen Sun 08-Dec-13 16:25:30

I think that link is misleading. The child CANNOT only have been taken in to care because of her weight. SHe's been taken in to the care of the local authority because the adults responsible for her were not able to prioritise her well being and help her lose weight. It's not simply being 10 stone that's the issue - it's the inability to care for her.

No it isn't the same as starving a child.

RedLondonBus Sun 08-Dec-13 16:25:48

Op you'll get lots of people now citing health issues etc as to why there are so many obese kids out there. It's amazing really

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 08-Dec-13 16:27:57

My point is that if a child has been starved then it could well be taken into care as it is symptomatic of abuse, I think the same goes for grossly overfeeding a child.

I am not talking about slightly chubby children but ones that are morbidly obese.

selsigfach Sun 08-Dec-13 16:30:08

Overfeeding your child and denying them any opportunity for physical exercise is abuse. YANBU.

JumpingJackSprat Sun 08-Dec-13 16:30:59

I agree with you op. I don't care if it's born out of love of you allow your child to become that overweight without a medical reason then you are not caring for them. I feel desperately sorry for obese children as they have no chance whatsoever of a normal diet and routine exercise until their old enough to make their own choices and by then it's going to be far far too difficult to break the habit.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 08-Dec-13 16:31:37

We had a similar situation here last year a 12 year old on a weight loss TV show weighing over 20 stone. I firmly believe the child should have been on the radar with Health or Social services before it got so bad and someone should have insisted on parenting assistance for the mother. It was horrible to watch how incapacitated the child was at that young age by weight. The mother clearly loved her child but food was an incredibly destructive way for her to show it.

It can be abusive but isn't automatically, neither is it definitely abusive starving your child.

I have seen children underweight and with rickets and severe vitamin deficiencies due to the over worried about fat and sugar middle classes.

Stupidity about nutrition exists in every sector of society.

It can be deliberate and abusive but it is mostly ignorance, or mental health issues in the family.

OhWellWhatToDo Sun 08-Dec-13 16:37:18

My child was underweight due to a health condition. For about six months she was also overweight, due to the medical condition. This isn't about that type of stuff which (temporarily) saved her life, the OP never said it was.

I think it is abusive. Born out of love or not, it is abusive. Social workers should be assigned and of course they should be given additional support, maybe classes of some type, or making them go to cookery classes and so on. But if habits don't change, then, even if isnt stemming from cruelty, it is seriously harming the child. I know someone who's child was taken into care, they were seriously mentally ill, they loved the child dearly, so, so much, but despite support from everyone, that love didn't make her a fit parent. It doesn't matter about the intentions, it matters about the result.

So YANBU.

WooWooOwl Sun 08-Dec-13 16:38:26

I don't think it should be treated the same, because it's a very different problem.

But it certainly should be treated as child abuse, because that's what it is.

It's a parent directly harming their child, so what else can it be classed as?

BohemianGirl Sun 08-Dec-13 16:40:28

A different newslink saysthe child is being tested for genetic diseases such as Prader Willi Syndrome.

And another source says the child was under supervision and had lost two stone whilst with the parents.

So more than just being over fed I think

specialsubject Sun 08-Dec-13 16:44:19

if that picture is of a child, whoever designs or chooses those clothes needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

in fact, if it is of an adult, she also needs to start using her brain.

perlona Sun 08-Dec-13 16:55:23

There's no excuse for overfeeding a child or filling them with crap, especially to the ridiculous size that poor girl was gorged into. There is enough media coverage nowadays about the dangers of obesity that even the most ignorant of people are aware of it. If they cared for their childrens health, they would take their head out of their arse and educate themselves on healthy options and correct portion sizes.

Anybody who can allow their child to get that fat is either severely mentally ill with their own compulsive eating disorder which they are forcing on their child, very cruel and enjoys causing harm or is too stupid to understand the health and social implications for the child. Children have the right to be protected from such people, especially those unfortunate enough to be born to them.

A hefty prison sentence and ban on them keeping future potential victims they may breed should be the punishment for anyone who destroys a child's health like that. I don't care what their excuse is, there is no valid one.

MammaTJ Sun 08-Dec-13 16:57:15

I agree with you OP. As a woman who grew up with family who took pride in how fat I was, I am now an obese adult.

I chose to do 'Obesity in Children' as my 'Health promotion' topic at college. This is something I feel strongly about.

I may lack self control as an adult due to being fed every time someone came in to the very busy home for tea, along with whoever it was who had arrived, but I am damn sure I am not going to allow a child of mine to go through the same.

YANBU!

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 08-Dec-13 16:59:23

It's strange because I also think the way we view morbidly obese adults is awful too. If someone has an eating disorder that leads them to be underweight there is, generally, sympathy for them. If someone has disordered eating that leads them to being overweight then there is always a touch of nastiness about it in the press etc.

Having recovered from anorexia and having a friend that has recovered from bulimia (but was overweight throughout), I have seen first hand how these responses play out in day to day life. They both stem from psychological problems but display in different ways.

Sorry, off point there but I've wanted to say it for a while.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 08-Dec-13 17:00:26

Yanbu.

And I think OP makes it pretty clear she's not referring to children who are over/underweight due to medical conditions.

Does nobody remember the child who was over fed to the point her lungs had food in them? She died.

Like fuck that was born out of love.

mrsjay Sun 08-Dec-13 17:01:35

I dont think that over feeding children is the same as starving them parents do not feed children out of cruelty, however feeding children so much food that they are over weight is neglect but sometimes over weight children have over weight parents, I do not see why parents can get away with letting their children get so fat they are unhealthy

mrsjay Sun 08-Dec-13 17:02:57

I live near a primary school and I see a lot of fat children eating crisps for breakfast as they walk past

But you can't tell, my looking at a child, why they are obese.

Maybe it's what their parents feed them. Maybe they never exercise. Maybe they have a condition.

So you are judging based on the way they look.

Book. Cover. Comes to mind.

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