to think saying "she wants the D" is disgusting?

(63 Posts)
oharaharlot Sun 08-Dec-13 13:56:32

Especially when said by a cocky arrogant man.

It's just so demeaning. Or am I just a prude?

FrostedButts Sun 08-Dec-13 14:46:02

I would not engage in dialogue with him about it, he clearly has low self esteem hence using you as a tool (see what I did there?) to boost his own image. So doubtful he will take criticism on the chin.

ChasedByBees Sun 08-Dec-13 15:01:36

I don't think an email to him is a good idea. Reporting it would be far more effective. However, If you really feel like that is the best option be much more factual and hard line.

Perhaps:

"I have heard comments that you have made about me to other members of staff. I consider these comments to be sexual harassment and if there are any further incidences it will be reported to HR."

The problem with that approach though is it opens a dialogue and could just make him go 'underground'. So still being snide and sly with comments but to people who won't tell you. Far far better to report.

Trigglesx Sun 08-Dec-13 15:24:46

I suppose you could email the above (by ChasedByBees) and send a cc to your manager/supervisor as well. It might alert him that you mean business.

Caitlin17 Sun 08-Dec-13 15:28:24

Do not under any circumstances send the suggested email. All you are doing is.giving him an opportunity to wrong foot you.

Caitlin17 Sun 08-Dec-13 15:31:38

And don't even think of emailing him and cc'ing anyone else. The little creep has the right to have any complaint treated confidentially via the correct forum. You are setting yourself up for disciplinary procedures if you do.

Caitlin17 Sun 08-Dec-13 15:41:01

Seriously. Don't email anyone at work about this.

You are making a serious allegation. Email is not a secure medium.

Email can be forwarded or copied on automatically without the sender knowing; PAs, secretaries, assistants etc can have access to mail boxes without you knowing.

Trigglesx Sun 08-Dec-13 15:47:53

That's true, what Caitlin17 says. Thinking on it, emails are not secure and it could make things worse.

Is there some reason you can't just make a complaint through the appropriate channels?

UsedToBeNDP Sun 08-Dec-13 15:51:21

I have never heard this phrase. Luckily

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 15:55:27

You can make an informal complaint at work and make it clear that you do not require any further action than him being spoken to - it does not have to blow out of proportion at all.

Your work should have and E & D rep who deals with and logs all these sorts of things, and you can even leave it as just a discussion with them if you decide not to do anything else.

Nipping it squarely in the bud does not necessarily mean being the 'girly grass who can't take a joke'.

As Caitlin said, no email as you are entering into a 'tit for tat' then and you lose the moral high ground.

loveolives Sun 08-Dec-13 15:58:13

My DP says it to me sometimes 'do you want the D?' I just think it's funny. Depends on the context tbh.

SugarHut Sun 08-Dec-13 16:07:15

"Whilst I must admit, the amazing offer of your dick, is sending me into a giddy whirls of uncontrollable desire, I fear for your medical safety if I remove it from your forehead"

Twat.

vtechjazz Sun 08-Dec-13 16:08:28

I've heard of this D,
That makes girls say 'yes please'
But after a week,
Its burns when they wee.

Toilet wall, tomorrow.

Chunderella Sun 08-Dec-13 16:20:06

Blech. He sounds like a particularly 80s version of Robin Thicke.

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