AIBU to be even more annoyed at the benefit system?

(108 Posts)
RoseRedder Sat 07-Dec-13 21:55:18

I'm not really sure what I want to say about this or how to put it

But my friend has been found dead. Details are at the moment a bit confused and nothing confirmed but it's pointing to suicide

I hadn't had contact with him for about six months then when he asked for help I obviously didn't do enough

about my friend

I found out at 8pm, I'm still taking it in to be honest.

This country stinks to high hell

GobbySadcase Sat 07-Dec-13 22:11:32

It's telling the DWP are now refusing to disclose these stats.

sillymillyb Sat 07-Dec-13 22:12:26

Oh rose. I'm so sorry. I lost an ex boyfriend in similar circumstances back in September, and reading your post made my stomach lurch. It's all a bit shit. I'm very sorry, thinking of you hmm

WooWooOwl Sat 07-Dec-13 22:13:06

So sorry to hear about your friend sad

You said on your other thread, which as you linked to I hope you don't mind me mentioning, that your friend had MS. Sadly MS sufferers do have a significantly higher rate of suicide compared to the rest of the population, so I'm not sure it's entirely fair to blame the benefit system, and none of the blame will be yours either. MS is a truly shitty disease.

GobbySadcase Sat 07-Dec-13 22:14:14

Ah yes of course. Because living on fresh air is sooo morale boosting.

needaholidaynow Sat 07-Dec-13 22:15:21

Oh Rose that is just so sad sad I read your thread the other day and it really really saddened/ angered me that people are being made to suffer. Sending you my deepest condolences thanks

MoreThanChristmasCrackers Sat 07-Dec-13 22:16:39

I'm so sorry OP, I read your other thread and it is so awful that people feel so helpless in these cases.
If you have a friend in this situation, yes sometimes you can help once or maybe twice in the short term but the long term must just seem too much for them.
WTF has the world come to, so sorry OP.

feebeecat Sat 07-Dec-13 22:17:25

So sorry for your loss.

IDS is an absolute arse, as are they all really. And they will keep chipping away at those that can least afford it, whilst protecting themselves.

Also as far as I'm aware there are only certain shops that you can use the food vouchers at as only a few have signed up for it. There are restrictions on what you can use them for and many places didn't want to put their staff in a position where they would have to tell people what they can/can't buy. There is no such thing as "logic" with this government.

minsmum Sat 07-Dec-13 22:20:27

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Its not you who let him down. You where trying to get the right information for your friend and that's the right thing to do as information is power.

Society forgets about the disabled as with no money to get around they become invisible so its up to the rest of us not to forget them. A society should be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable members and tbh we should hang our heads in shame

Vatta Sat 07-Dec-13 22:20:30

That's terrible rose, I'm sorry to hear that.

I am so sorry sad

I've only just seen the first thread, but it is that part of the system that makes me so sad and angry. How have we come to this?

Please don't blame yourself though, it is definitley not your fault

I'm so sorry for your loss MS is truly a hateful disease. I cant imagine trying to balance both the constraints of the disease with knowing that the government is unwilling to help. Do not blame yourself this is not your fault sad

Hedgehog80 Sat 07-Dec-13 22:25:53

Sorry, have not read all of the other thread but have read the posts on here.

Really shocked that the benefits can be stopped for somebody who has ms?? That's disgusting.

So sorry about your poor friend rose. X

monicalewinski Sat 07-Dec-13 22:26:00

That's awful, I read the other thread and until then I honestly didn't have a clue that people were left quite so high and dry like that.

Sorry about you friend rose

OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sat 07-Dec-13 22:27:22

33. Jesus Christ.

OP I need to ask, how did your friend die? I assumed it was suicide but I read your other thread and now I wonder, was it from the cold? Not eating?

Im so, so sorry to hear of this.

Dawndonnaagain Sat 07-Dec-13 22:30:05

I'm so sorry, Rose. I posted on that thread and was following it.

WooWoo, suicide needs a trigger, having no food and no dignity alongside MS might just do that. I'm pretty damn sure the benefits agency is at least 90% to blame.

MS is a truly shitty disease.

Yes it is. Why was he even taken off ESA in the first place then WooWoo ?

Maybe because this government don't give a shit about the vulnerable in our society. It is absolutely disgusting that you are trying to blame this mans illness for this. Disgusting.

So sorry for your loss OP. Its absolutely heartbreaking.

moldingsunbeams Sat 07-Dec-13 22:30:37

My dad lost his DLA, he had worked since he was 15 in a god damn awful filthy job for long hours around 40 years. They struggled to buy a house and save. He became really really ill. He actually technically died and was brought back.

They decided without assessment and with no updated doctors notes he was fit to work, obviously he could not work so he just relied on my mums pension and savings to support two people.

It took every scrap of dignity he had ever had, he felt worthless, a friend of my mums found him crying over the fields near the house, my mum would have give him money any time he needed it and would certainly not have had to ask but if was the fact he had to take her pension, he had no money of his own. He could not even go to the shop and buy a pint of milk without talking money from my mum like some little kid.

It took them 18 months to sort his appeal out and in 18 months they drained their savings, in the court the judge LIED and said he had said he went to the pubs with his mates. (he never goes to the pub or out with anyone) he did get it back at a lower rate.

My dad is mentally a wreck now. I hate the bastards for what they have done to him, he is not a scrounger he worked all his life ten times harder than they ever fucking will. bitter

OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sat 07-Dec-13 22:30:46

Oh Im sorry ignore me. It clearly states so in the OP.

Again Im so sorry to hear your news.

RoseRedder Sat 07-Dec-13 22:32:22

thank you

It's just Asda I think feebecat (in our council anyway)

I gave him £20 for his vouchers. And when I spent them in Asda I felt I would be under scrunity of what I was buying with them, so there was loads of fruit and veg which is also making me think maybe they would want to see value baked beans and pasta?

I wish I'd given him the £20 and and not taken the vouchers or given him £50

The reason he hadn't been in touch for six months was because I gave him some money before and he was not able to repay it, despite me saying I didn't want it back, due to all this and was to embarressed to speak to me.

He is a lovely guy,

This sort of stuff just stucks

Hedgehog80 Sat 07-Dec-13 22:33:07

This is just so, so heartbreakingly sad.

A man with ms, probably feeling dreadful most days, benefits stopped, not enough food or any money for heat. I could actually cry about this.

sutekidane Sat 07-Dec-13 22:33:16

Oh no rose sad

farrowandbawlbauls Sat 07-Dec-13 22:36:52

Rose, I'm so sorry.

Darkesteyes Sat 07-Dec-13 22:47:28
Darkesteyes Sat 07-Dec-13 22:49:32

Rose please dont torture yourself with what ifs. None of this is your fault.

farrowandbawlbauls Sat 07-Dec-13 22:49:53

[mad]

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