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To want a break occasionally

(18 Posts)
Haveacwtch Sun 01-Dec-13 15:06:15

I am a SAHM. I have two children aged two and four. My eldeSt is in reception and the youngest is home with me. My two year old is very clingy and into everything so not an easy day. I take care of everything in the house. I don't keep a show home by any means as struggle with my boy giving me a minute!

I have just had a row with h as I have been out all morning and came home at 1pm and he was still sleeping. He did go out last night. I went out Friday but still got up with the boys in the night and got up with them yesterday morning when he slept. He then came down and tried to sleep on the sofa. I asked him when I got a lie in or a rest and his answer is I don't work so don't need one. I appreciate he does need to rest as he has a hard job.

My Saturdays and Sundays are spent running round looking after the kids and doing housework.

AIBU to want a rest myself? My job is 24/7 and I need some time to myself sometimes. As I don't work is this how it should be?

Thanks

capsium Sun 01-Dec-13 15:13:30

It sounds as if both you and your husband are a bit tired and ratty. Nobody wins in the who is the most tired arguments.

I would honesty do the bare minimum of housework. Also take a long bath, with a good book now and again, when your DH is in. Gives you a bit of breathing space.

bababababoom Sun 01-Dec-13 15:13:54

You've been out on Friday night, that's time to yourself. But yanbu to think it should be more equal at weekends. We take turns to have a couple of hours lie in, one on Saturday, one on Sunday.

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 01-Dec-13 17:18:43

Agree that 'who is the most tired' arguments rarely end well.
Sounds like you're both tired. When I was a SAHM I never did cooking or housework at the weekend. I cooked and cleaned during the week a little bit at a time and put lots in the freezer or ate out on a Sat/Sun.
Weekends were free for relaxing and going out together as a family.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 01-Dec-13 17:25:31

Weekends should be spent by both if you parenting and cooking, cleaning. It should be shared when you are both home. Just because you are a sahm doesn't mean 24/7.

grobagsforever Sun 01-Dec-13 17:26:05

Your H is being a 1950s knob. Should be on lie in each at the weekends. No question.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Sun 01-Dec-13 17:45:53

his answer is I don't work so don't need one.

Then in that case he won't object if you go off for a couple of days and leave him with the DC and housework will he?

Tell him the 1950s called and they want his attitude back.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Sun 01-Dec-13 17:46:28

Agree 100% with everyone. He's being a twat.

Haveacwtch Sun 01-Dec-13 18:45:10

Thanks all thought as much! I went out Friday but didn't go until I had put toddler to bed and also got up in the morning with the boys and took them out. He went out last night at four and slept all morning.

I would love him to have the boys for a few days to see quite how much rest I get!

stopgap Sun 01-Dec-13 19:01:29

Mon-Fri he works in an office
Mon-Fri you work looking after the kids
Saturday and Sunday, it's 50/50 with the kids.

Or at least that's how it should be in my book.

Hedgehog80 Sun 01-Dec-13 19:13:19

Yanbu. I feel your pain.

CailinDana Sun 01-Dec-13 19:16:52

Seeing as he thinks looking after the children isn't work, he should easily be able to do it all weekend, shouldn't he?

Nevercan Sun 01-Dec-13 19:16:59

One of us gets a lay in on Saturday and one on Sunday - alls fair!

clam Sun 01-Dec-13 19:31:22

So, looking after the children is a doss when you do it, but counts as work if he's expected to do a bit?
Time for a trip away on your own, methinks.

If he thinks you don't work then don't. Take care of your children but do nothing for him. No washing, no cooking, no cleaning, nothing.

After all if you do no work then someone else must be doing it, mustn't they?

See how long he lasts then. hmm

prettywoman78 Sun 01-Dec-13 22:18:33

Yanbu. I also think I am married to his twin op. I even work part time but I seem to be on the go all weekend whilst dh gets leisure time.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Sun 01-Dec-13 22:24:44

1 lie in each. Only fair. I don't understand why you're getting up both - woman up and kick him out of bed. We barter on a Friday who gets Sat / Sunday lie in as it's pot luck what time DS will wake. We tend to sway towards whoever has the crappiest Monday planned gets Sunday lie in. Simples.

Haveacwtch Sun 01-Dec-13 22:36:07

Thanks all. He has a hard physical job so is wrecked by the weekend but our little one is ill so his sleep is wrecked and he is extra clingy so my days aren't a walk in the park either

I will definitely be getting a lie in next weekend wink. I get up at 6 with the boys every day when he sleeps until 7:15 so our sleep is very out of balance!

Kick up the arse will be given

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