about ds' s Christmas presents?

(22 Posts)
3boys3dogshelp Sat 30-Nov-13 22:10:53

Starting to feel really annoyed with dh about Christmas presents and need an outside perspective please. The backstory is that dh loved star wars as a child and had a set of figures and millennium Falcon which his mum gave away to charity when she thought he'd finished with them. Its a running joke in the family that she gave all their toys away.
Ds is 5 and has recently watched the films and loved them. He hadn't really got any ideas for his main present for Christmas and has been flitting between several things. Dh has been going on and on about getting star wars things, I thought too expensive (ie at least half of his budget for second hand toys whivh he hhadn't asked for).
Faat forward to today - we were writing to santa - I suggested star wars to ds and he said 'no thanks' . Dh stomped out and started saying I had talked him put of it! Wtf I suggested it. Then I find out tonight that we won an ebay auction 2 hours AFTER that conversation for a bloody millennium Falcon! Since kids went to bed he has been talking about how much he thinks ds will like it and I'm getting really annoyed because ds said no. So who is bu??
Sorry for the essay.

Tell your DH that if he really wants these toys for himself, then he just needs to admit it.

fluffandnonsense Sat 30-Nov-13 22:13:14

Clearly your DH is being unreasonable! But then I speak as a mother of a 5 year old who is getting a huge collection of lego this year - wether he likes it or not (courtesy of my DH)

5inabed Sat 30-Nov-13 22:14:33

Give it to dh as his present? Since it is him who is desperate to re live his childhood and get ds something he actually wants. Hibu.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 30-Nov-13 22:14:38

He is. It is about what DS would like, not what DH would like - tell him that's his present sorted smile

lunar1 Sat 30-Nov-13 22:16:19

On one hand I agree with you, if he wants them for himself he should just say. On the other hand I've been trying to convince ds1 that he wants sylvanian families, he took one look and said they were for girls. hmm

iheartdusty Sat 30-Nov-13 22:17:45

your DH is bu

but

the star wars could be a thing they do together. If DS loved the films he is half way there. Provided you make sure that DS gets other things that he has asked for, or that you believe he will like, at age 5 DS can be convinced that he likes what he is given.

Surely many of us rely on persuading the dc that they really want the thing that we have already got?

you just have to stop DH from buying any more if you are on a budget.

3boys3dogshelp Sat 30-Nov-13 22:17:45

Haha great idea, except money is tight this year and it cost more than I'm planning on spending on him!

Pinupgirl Sat 30-Nov-13 22:19:04

Are we married to the same person? my dh and dc1 both love star wars and we bought a millinieum falcon and a tai fighter for dc one xmas-not bloody cheap-they were broke in 2 minutes!

GhostsInSnow Sat 30-Nov-13 22:21:01

When I was a kid my Mum wouldn't buy me Star Wars because I was a girl. As luck would have it I found a chewbacca, an R2 and a C3PO outside my Nans house in the road. I treasured them.

When I grew up and married DS wasn't interested in Star Wars, DD was however. I bought the Millenium Falcon actually not really too bothered whether she played with it or not, I just needed to own it. DH then bought me my prize...an AT-AT. DD played with the Falcon for a bit, but then it went on the shelf in the dining room where it makes me smile every time I see it. AT-AT stands in the corner of the dining room. On the sideboard are four Master Replica lightsabers, all adult toys really. All mine, all very treasured and give me great pleasure.

I get why your DH is doing what he's doing, let him get on with it. You may find your DS loves it, if not DH has a little part of his childhood back that will make him smile and thats pretty priceless grin

SteamWisher Sat 30-Nov-13 22:24:03

Did your nan set up those models to be there Juice?! Sounds like it and very sweet too.

AgentZigzag Sat 30-Nov-13 22:25:28

He is BU, but for good reason really.

I know people who are still scarred by their parents giving away their toys/belongings when they've thought they were finished with them, and one of them is about 50 years ago!

It hasn't happened to me, but it obviously means a lot to the people it's happened to.

Has it turning into a family joke made it worse for him by minimising it?

Or could it be none of that and he just wants his DS to enjoy something he got so much out of at the time?

He was definitely BU to try and blame you for anything though!

Mattissy Sat 30-Nov-13 22:26:41

My dh bought my ds the millennium falcon in the same way, ds didn't really want it, dh did. Ds lobed it much to my chagrin, it takes pride of place on a shelf with the myriad of other SW memorabilia he's got over the years!

3boys3dogshelp Sat 30-Nov-13 22:27:39

But juice by buying the star wars stuff we can't afford to get all the things ds actually asked santa for in his letter. Surely thats not fair!! Dh had his childhood when he was a child and DID have the toys then. Its just that when he had outgrown them (in his mum's eyes) she gave them to charity.
His argument is that ds keeps changing his mind over what he wants and by Christmas he might want star wars toys. At the moment there isn't one big present on the list, just lots of little things.

AgentZigzag Sat 30-Nov-13 22:28:36

I know someone who still collects and values the toys they would have been playing with at the time they were a child if they hadn't been going through such a tough time of it.

GhostsInSnow Sat 30-Nov-13 22:30:39

steam you know, thats something I've never thought about, but now you mention it, it's possible. I know she made me hide them and they lived in a cupboard in her kitchen when I left.

My DM actually created a monster by not allowing me to have it, my dining room is a Star Wars museum. We had a plumber round a few weeks ago who saw it all and said what an understanding wife I must be. When I pointed out that actually it was all mine his face was priceless grin

If DM had just let me have the damn AT-AT I wanted back then I'd have a normal dining room now! blush

GhostsInSnow Sat 30-Nov-13 22:33:05

3boys replace one thing with the falcon, you never know he may love it anyway and Santa can't always get everything, especially if he's changing his mind a lot.

If he doesn't love it, then DH owes him a present when he can afford it.

HaroldTheGoat Sat 30-Nov-13 22:34:35

Him totally. MIL gave away DPs millennium falcon as well, it's a very hard ordeal, apparently, but if course he is totally projecting!

ICameOnTheJitney Sat 30-Nov-13 22:39:22

Buy one for DH. My friend got her brother an At at thing or whatever they're called and he was SO happy.

SteamWisher Sat 30-Nov-13 23:27:38

Did your nan set up those models to be there Juice?! Sounds like it and very sweet too.

Smartiepants79 Sat 30-Nov-13 23:33:52

My husband is bit similar in that he is constantly trying to replace his childhood toys because his mother gave them all away without asking him. He continues to be quite bothered by it. However, we have 2 little girls so he only buys them for himself and is sensible about how much he spends.
Your husband shouldn't have spent that money if it means your boy doesn't get what he really wanted.

SteamWisher Sat 30-Nov-13 23:43:32

<double post fail>

OP* your DH shouldn't relive his childhood in this way. He needs to grow up!

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